Page 6 of Pretense

But it seemed Jalissa was always falling in love with unsuitable options. Her first love, too, had been unsuitable. Elidyr had been a mere servant, working odd jobs around Ellonahshinel.

Now, the court probably would have approved of him, even if he was a lower class. At least he had been an elf, unlike Prince Edmund of Escarland.

Too bad Elidyr had been killed in the war. A war he had only joined as a way to get as far away from her as possible after he had broken her heart.

The dance ended with a final, graceful flourish by the dancing couples.

Jalissa sighed and took a step toward Lord Merellien Halmar, the top candidate on her list of potential suitors. All winter, she had made a point to dance with him at every function and spend time with him when she could.

As was their usual, she would greet them and make it clear she was expecting him to ask for the next dance. Unless he had a prior commitment, he would not turn her away. She was a princess, after all. The only unmarried princess left except for Brina, who was still too young to attend court functions yet.

Still, he never sought her out to ask for a dance. And she had yet to develop more than a detached regard for him.

But more feelings would come, surely. It just took time.

This time—this time for sure—she was going to ask Merellien to walk with her onto the balcony overlooking Estyra. There, she would ask to court him. As a princess, it was her right to make the first move, though he would be free to refuse her. Tonight she would stop being a coward and putting it off.

Before Jalissa could take more than that single step, Essie and Farrendel strode up to her.

“Jalissa, glad we caught you.” Essie all but dragged Farrendel the last few steps forward. Though, he kept up with her so well that only someone who knew them well would be able to tell. Despite her exuberance, Essie kept her voice low so that only Jalissa would be able to hear. “Machasheni got caught in a discussion with some of the court members and won’t be able to make the next dance with Farrendel. Are you free? I promised Rheva that I’d help her next, otherwise I’d stay with Farrendel.”

Farrendel gave a small huff. “I do not need to be passed around like something fragile. I survived these court events before you started organizing them.”

“The fact that you call it survival should tell you all you need to know.” Essie stepped closer, her teasing smile fading after a moment as she held Farrendel’s gaze, a silent communication passing between them. “Admit it. It’s much more fun now.”

“Yes.” His smile widened as he shared another look with Essie. After a moment, he turned to Jalissa. “I would like to dance with you, isciena. If you have no prior engagements.”

Jalissa glanced at Merellien, but he already held the hand of another female of the court. She had missed her chance. She probably could track down one of the other ones from her list but putting it off and dancing with Farrendel sounded like the better option. “I have no objections.”

As Weylind and Rheva strolled up to them, Essie let go of Farrendel’s hand to join Rheva. “Who should we attack next? I noticed that group over there has been particularly stuffy.”

Essie did not point—she was still a princess, after all—but she tilted her head in the direction of a group of the more mature ladies of the court. The ones who managed to look haughty and sneering even without letting so much as a wrinkle mar their perfect faces.

Rheva’s expression tightened, but she nodded. “Yes, they are particularly disdainful of humans and of Weylind’s choice to make such a close treaty with Escarland.”

“Perfect. Let’s go inflict my presence on them.” Essie set off in that direction, her green skirt swishing around her gracefully, even if her movements were brisker than the way an elf noblewoman would walk.

Still looking mildly terrified beneath her serene mask, Rheva fell into step with Essie.

“Isciena?”

Jalissa shook herself and discovered that Weylind had disappeared into the swirl of people, leaving only Farrendel standing there. He held a hand out to her. “Are you all right?”

“I am fine.” Jalissa took his hand and let him sweep her into the languid pattern of the traditional dance.

When was the last time she had danced with him? Farrendel usually avoided these events. Or bolted from them as soon as he possibly could. He had not even danced at the ball to celebrate his wedding.

After he maneuvered them so that they were in a corner with his back to the wall, Farrendel speared her with a searching look. “You are not fine. You have not been yourself for months now.”

Jalissa resisted the urge to flee. For months, she had evaded their probing questions and well-meaning inquiries. She could not admit the problem, especially not to Farrendel or Essie. Edmund was Essie’s brother, after all. If anything, Essie would feel hurt on her brother’s behalf.

Besides, it was not only Jalissa’s brief but doomed attraction to Edmund. It was the pressure of having to choose an elf from the court. Her unresolved anger toward Melantha for her betrayal of Farrendel and, by betraying him, hurting their whole family. The loneliness of being the last of her siblings to still be unmarried.

“It is nothing.” Jalissa could not hold Farrendel’s gaze. If she did, he might see the truth of how miserable she was.

“Isciena…” Farrendel’s voice grew even softer. “There is no shame in talking with someone. You saw battle for the first time while fighting your way across Kostaria. You are not weak if you are struggling with that.”

Jalissa had to work to keep her movements fluid instead of stiffening up. Of course Farrendel would assume that was her struggle.

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