Page 66 of Pretense

But fluttering feelings were not everything. That was merely surface attraction. She could choose to ignore that and choose to love someone else. Right?

Edmund steered Jalissa through the crowd with the same seemingly unhurried, yet brisk pace he used when strolling down a street after a mark they were following. Almost before Jalissa was ready, they approached Merellien where he stood with a group of both elven and human nobles.

As Edmund and Jalissa reached the group, the human nobles greeted Edmund while the elven nobles turned to Jalissa. They then went through the expected round of introducing the elves to Edmund and the humans to her.

When the music for the next dance began, it was elven music for one of the simpler elven dances. Almost as if Edmund had planned it that way. Jalissa would not put it past him.

“Lord Merellien, would you look after your princess for me? I have promised this next dance to my sister-in-law Queen Paige.” Edmund’s smile gave nothing away as he nodded to Merellien.

Merellien bowed to Jalissa, a slight smile on his face. “It would be my pleasure, amirah. Would you be willing to join me for this next dance?”

His elvish almost sounded strange to Jalissa, after spending so much time the past week surrounded by Escarlish spoken by all tiers of Aldon’s society.

Still, Jalissa nodded and lightly rested her hand on his arm. Together, they joined the dance floor again. A surprising number of humans were on the dance floor, though that could have been Elspetha and Farrendel’s influence for the past few months.

For the elven dance, they did not touch each other at all as they progressed through the steps, though they wove through the patterns close enough to easily converse.

Jalissa drew in a deep breath and forced herself to face Merellien. “How are you enjoying this trip to Escarland?”

Merellien’s deep blue eyes were focused on her, a smile playing across his face. “It has been eye-opening, to say the least. I did not realize a human city had so many people.”

Jalissa’s smile widened. “That was my reaction as well, the first time I saw Aldon. If you have a chance, you should visit the Aldon Market or the main shopping district to experience the bustle for yourself.”

“I shall do that.” Merellien ducked his head as he and Jalissa twirled through the steps in unison. “Is there a place you would specifically recommend?”

“The Kingsley Gardens live up to their reputation.” Jalissa resisted the urge to glance away from him.

Even though she had given him the perfect opportunity, Merellien did not ask to tour Aldon or the Gardens with her. Yes, she was still supposedly courting Prince Edmund. But it would have been natural to ask his princess to show him around the city where she had served as ambassador. She probably should not feel relieved that he had not.

Instead, the two of them lapsed into silence. Not the comfortable kind of silence, but the awkward absence of anything they wanted to say to each other.

Jalissa tried to find something to say. But there was just no draw to Merellien. Not the way there had been with Elidyr. Not like there was with Edmund. Instead, she was already bored, even though they had only exchanged a few sentences.

There was nothing wrong with Merellien. He was handsome. Honorable. A warrior who had fought nobly in the war. He was everything she should want in a husband. There was no reason why she should not marry him.

And yet, there was no attraction. Nothing.

Perhaps she should give it more time. Feelings could develop through proximity eventually, right? Though, she had spent a great deal of time around Merellien the past few months while she tried to pick a spouse. That was far longer than it had taken with either Elidyr or Edmund for attraction to develop.

Was it shallow that she wanted to feel that draw to her spouse? Love was not all fluttery feelings. It was deeper and richer than that. Or, at least, that was what Machasheni Leyleira said.

Jalissa forced herself to focus on Merellien again. Was she really contemplating marrying someone simply because there was nothing wrong with him? What kind of reason was that?

She nearly stumbled over the next step as her mind whirled. Yes, fleeting attraction was not enough for a relationship. But emotion itself was not wrong. After all, the emotion of love was felt for more than just romance. The love for parents or siblings or friends was an emotion, but it was not fleeting.

What she felt for Edmund was not fleeting either. She was attracted to his physical appearance—his curling, brown hair, the way his face lit up when he smiled, the flutters she felt around him.

But it was more than that. She loved the way he looked at her and really saw her. Not just the proper princess, but the depth to her heart and soul. He pushed her to be more, yet he did not push her to be anyone else besides who she was.

And she was attracted to the depth she saw in him. On the surface, he was a laid-back, humorous prince. Yet, he had layers of secrets that he only showed to those he trusted.

She could see herself and Edmund, working together in both courts as they watched for spies or traitors and navigated the intrigue of the nobles in a way that Farrendel and Essie could not. With Edmund, her life would never be boring and lonely.

Why had she been resisting? All because of one conversation with her sister, a conversation that Melantha herself later retracted as bad advice.

Sure, marrying Edmund would cause a scandal. But Jalissa had seen the way their two families would rally to protect their members through a scandal. They would survive.

Besides, Weylind had been right. The scandal of Jalissa marrying a human would go away the closer that Tarenhiel and Escarland became—something that would happen even more quickly if Jalissa married Edmund. Jalissa was not the heir. She was not even the spare. In a few years, the court would no longer care about her marriage whatsoever.

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