Page 41 of Pretense

A not-quite-laugh choked out of him. He did not straighten from cradling Essie’s head. “Last time, you told Essie to let me go.”

Weylind gave his own wry chuckle, though it also lacked mirth. “I would not be so foolish now. I have learned better when it comes to you and Elspetha.”

Farrendel would have replied, but his breath caught, pain flaring through him. He dug his fingers into Essie’s hair and clung to the heart bond with all the strength left in him. It did not matter if his own lungs shredded, or he gave every bit of strength inside his body. He was going to keep Essie alive through this no matter what it took.

He was not sure how much time passed. Everything was a blur of pain and elven magic and the heart bond that consumed all of him.

Weylind’s voice broke through the haze, his grip tugging Farrendel away from the table, away from Essie. “She is all right, shashon. Let the healers finish up.”

Essie’s hand slipped out of his, and the snapping of the deep connection in the heart bond had Farrendel doubling over, even if he could still feel Essie, alive and breathing.

He was gasping. His head so light it was about ready to float away. His fingers had gone past tingling into numb. He could not see, everything tunneled, black and whirling. His knees hit the floor as shudders wracked his body. He was gagging, choking.

Weylind was saying something, then shouting. His grip on Farrendel’s shoulders was tight enough to be painful.

Farrendel should concentrate on that point of pain to keep himself grounded. He was supposed to breathe deeply and bring himself back to reality.

But he was flying apart, scattering into nothing.

“Rheva!” Weylind shouted again.

A flood of soothing magic blasted into Farrendel with such force that he choked, then coughed.

The cough turned into a heave, and a bucket was pressed into his hands. He vomited, heaving until nothing more would come. He gasped and gagged his way to control, hunching over the bucket.

When he was sure he was not about to cast up his accounts yet again, he shoved the bucket away. When he swiped his sleeve across his mouth, he felt a dampness on his face, as if tears had been streaming down his cheeks. Perhaps they had. He had been a little outside himself for a few moments there.

More of Rheva’s soothing magic flowed into him, softer and gentler than before. Only then did he register that she knelt next to him, holding Farrendel’s hair from his face.

Farrendel could have gladly sunk to the floor and never moved from that spot. Panicking was bad enough. Breaking down in front of people was humiliating.

Weylind slumped into a sitting position, swiping a shaking hand over his face.

Rheva let go of Farrendel’s hair, then rested a hand on his shoulder. “If you are all right, I am going to help them get Essie settled.”

Farrendel’s head shot up. The table was empty. By the time he thought to call out to her, Rheva was already leaving, crossing the room.

His chest squeezing, Farrendel staggered to his feet. “Where is Essie?”

Weylind gripped Farrendel’s arm. “She is already on the boat. Come. Let us get you home to Estyra.”

Farrendel did not resist as Weylind steered him from the room, then from the outpost. When they boarded the elven boat that would take them across the Hydalla River, Farrendel took a step in the direction of the door that would take him below.

Weylind shook his head. “Essie will be all right for a few minutes. You need to take a moment and breathe.”

“But…Essie…” Farrendel did not have the strength to resist as Weylind guided him to the rail.

“You will be able to feel through the heart bond if she needs you.” Weylind’s tone was stern. “And, yes, this is the same thing we told Essie back when you were recovering. It is good to step away to clear your head.”

Farrendel slumped against the rail. As the boat shivered into motion and pulled away from the dock, a cool breeze wafted along the river, carrying with it a wet, murky smell.

With his eyes closed, Farrendel drew in several deep breaths, exhaling slowly. He let the gentle rocking of the boat ease through his muscles while the comforting smell of river and spring forest wrapped around him.

Weylind had been right. This was helping. For the first time in hours, he could piece together some semblance of order inside his head. And, when they docked on the Tarenhieli side of the river, his legs were steady enough that he could walk on his own without Weylind steadying him.

When Farrendel climbed into his private car on the Tarenhieli royal train, Essie already lay on the large bed in the center of the car’s spacious bedroom. The warm, pink light of the sunset beamed through large windows on both sides of the car and gave Essie’s skin a warmer cast than it had before.

Rheva stood next to Essie, adjusting the pillow, while Essie’s macha smoothed the blanket.

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