Page 34 of Pretense

Then Julien was there as well. “Charles Hadley has agreed to lend us his magically powered locomotive.”

That snapped Farrendel’s head up. It had been that train—or one of the ones like it—that had taken him and Essie to be handed over to the trolls. “No. Not…” He could not choke out the words past the panic.

“I know you had a bad experience with his locomotives before.” Julien’s expression was grave, his jaw tight beneath his beard. “But he owes the crown for what his son did to you and Essie. Your guards will be in the locomotive with the engineer to ensure your safety, and it will cut four or more hours from the trip to the border, since you won’t have to stop for water and coal. Can you deny that those four hours could make all the difference?”

Farrendel glanced down at Essie’s drawn face. Julien was right. Four hours could be the difference between life and death. For Essie…and for himself.

Because he had no intention of letting go. If that meant he died along with her, then so be it.

It was not what Essie would want. She would tell him to let her go when the time came. It was the same thing he had told her, after all.

Back then, she had not let him go. She had done it out of her unflagging optimism, believing that if she held on just a moment longer, then everything would be all right.

He did not have that same conviction. No, he was clinging to her out of despair instead of hope. He was not strong enough to contemplate living without her. Not the best mindset. But he did not care. All that mattered was Essie.

The surgeon sat back on his heels, looking at Averett. “I have stabilized her as best I can. She ought to be brought to surgery.”

“What would her chances be for survival?” Averett’s tone remained far too calm.

Farrendel was shaking with the need to do something. What, he did not know. A part of him wanted to pick up Essie and simply start running for the border, even if logic told him that such an attempt would be futile.

The surgeon hesitated, looking away.

“That’s what I thought.” Averett’s voice did not waver. “Then we’ll send her to Tarenhiel. It’s her best chance.”

“I will keep her alive.” Farrendel bit out the words past the pain. He drew in another, agonizing breath. Whatever the surgeon had done, breathing was a bit easier. Not much, but enough that Farrendel could think more clearly. “I am an elf. I am strong enough. Our elishina is strong enough.”

The surgeon just regarded him. He did not seem puzzled, exactly. Perhaps he had been one of the surgeons who had worked with elves during the war, though Farrendel did not recognize him.

“I know you will.” Averett met Farrendel’s gaze a moment before he turned back to the surgeon. “Would you be willing to go along to keep her stable on the trip?”

The surgeon nodded. “Yes, Your Majesty. I will do my best.” He hesitated, reaching for his bag and glancing between Averett and Farrendel. “Would it be all right if I give her a painkiller? Or would that interfere with this…heart bond?”

Farrendel managed a shake of his head. “No. If it will help her, then please give it to her.”

“Do you need a painkiller?” The surgeon was studying Farrendel now.

Farrendel gave a larger shake of his head. “I must be alert.”

He could not risk letting her go. He must consciously choose to hold on tight, giving her of himself to keep her alive.

While the surgeon administered the painkiller, Farrendel kept his gaze on Essie’s face, unable to watch the needle as it was inserted in her arm.

Then the carriage was moving again, taking them straight to the small train station that was enclosed inside of the outer palace walls. A locomotive waited there, vibrating with the power of its engines even though no smoke poured from its smokestack. Only two train cars were hooked to it.

As the carriage drew to a halt, Farrendel gathered Essie into his arms, careful not to jostle her. Ahead of him, guards carried Iyrinder on a stretcher, heading for the second train car. Miss Merrick trailed after them, following them into the train.

Farrendel’s knees shook as he climbed down from the carriage, Julien and Averett reaching to steady him.

Edmund and Jalissa waited next to the carriage, dark blood drying on their clothes. Edmund had one bloodstained hand gripping Jalissa’s shoulder, his arm around her.

Edmund gave Farrendel a nod, his gaze dropping to Essie.

Jalissa reached out and gripped Farrendel’s shoulder in an elven hug. She held his gaze for a long moment, her eyes far too knowing. “Keep her alive, shashon.”

She did not say it out loud, but he could see in her eyes what she was really saying, Do not die.

Farrendel gave a nod, then strode toward the train as steadily as he could.

---