Page 15 of Pretense

But his heart wasn’t listening, and he was willing to let himself be convinced that this plan was a good idea.

“Jalissa.” He had nearly reached her. The rest of her family had dispersed, giving them a semblance of privacy here on the branch pathway of Ellonahshinel. “Could I speak with you a moment?”

Her back stiffened as she halted. When she turned to face him, her deep brown eyes twisted something deep inside his chest, making his breath catch. But her expression, from her slim nose to her delicate chin, was smooth as porcelain, the picture of a perfect elven princess. “I have nothing to discuss with you.”

“This isn’t about me. It’s about Farrendel and Essie.” Edmund held her gaze, willing sincerity to his voice. Yes, this was about Farrendel and Essie. He wasn’t foolish enough to think he had a third chance with Jalissa. Not at all.

It wasn’t like he wanted to reach for her and hold her close. Nor would he allow his gaze to focus on her mouth as he thought about how much he wanted to kiss her.

She had said no to his courtship. He would respect that, even if it tore him in two.

Her blank mask fractured a bit, reflecting the wariness that also flowed into her posture. “What about Farrendel and Essie?”

“Averett’s plan is a good one, and it will shore up Essie and Farrendel’s reputation in the eyes of the Escarlish people well enough, but…” Edmund drew in a deep breath. One last chance for him to walk away. One last chance to avoid what was sure to break his own heart before this was over.

If he’d been the type to avoid such risks, he never would have become a spy.

Jalissa raised an eyebrow. “But?”

“I think there is a way to take some of the pressure off them. A way to reassure the Escarlish people about the intentions of the Tarenhieli crown.” Edmund struggled to keep his words even instead of blurting them out in a rush. “We can create a news story that would take the focus off Farrendel and Essie so that the scandal can die quicker.”

“And what would that be, and what does it have to do with me?” Jalissa eyed him with even more wariness now. For good reason.

“We fake a courtship.” His heart choked his throat. Too much of his emotion had come out in his voice. He was supposed to present this as a cold, business arrangement.

“No.” Jalissa spun on her heel and started to march away.

“Wait!” Edmund stopped himself from reaching for her, and instead curled and uncurled his fingers at his sides. “It would be for just a few weeks. Long enough to make the Escarlish people think there will be a second marriage of alliance to secure the treaty. It would not take much to re-start the rumors of a romance between us that were flying the last time we were both in Escarland. Then we can quietly break it off. I know you can’t…that we can’t…that this can’t go anywhere.”

How those words hurt. But he would make them the truth, no matter how painful.

She spun to face him, her expression hard once again. “That would just bring your Escarlish scandal here to Tarenhiel to trouble my brother’s court as well. He has dealt with enough trouble after my brother married a human and my sister married a troll. I cannot be seen to even entertain the possibility of marrying a human when I have to marry an elf to regain the reputation of the royal family in my own court.”

“I know.” He did. Truly. And even if she was free to marry a human, he would be the worst choice. He had spied on her kingdom. If his secrets ever got out, the scandal in her kingdom would be just as bad as what Essie and Farrendel were facing now. “Then use a fake courtship to your advantage. When we break it off, you can pick an elf of your choice, and your court will be so relieved that he isn’t a human that they won’t care if he isn’t high in the nobility, or even noble at all. They will simply be glad that he is an elf and isn’t me.”

Her jaw worked, her eyes still flinty and a touch sad. “That still does not change the fact that it will cause an additional scandal here in Tarenhiel. Nor does it buy me any more time to find a suitable elf since I will be locked in a fake courtship with you.”

He could hear what she wasn’t saying, even if he wasn’t supposed to know. She believed that the only elf she had ever loved was dead.

If he could give her a way to fall in love with someone else, he would. It was the least he could do, after everything he had done to her.

But he could not give away the heart he had so accidentally stolen. Any more than he could take his back.

“I understand, especially since much of our fake courtship would have to be spent in Escarland.” Edmund told himself that he didn’t stumble over the word fake. “But it would buy you a little more time before you had to make a choice.”

“This courtship would be fake, right?” Her beautifully dark eyes scoured his face. “This is not an attempt to get close to me again, is it? Because I am not going to budge. I told you that I cannot accept a real courtship with you.”

“I know, and this isn’t.” Edmund swallowed. That had to be the truth. Because he would not allow himself to be the kind of man who would do anything so dishonorable as pressure a woman after she had told him no. “You have made your choice clear, and I respect that.”

“Do you?” Jalissa gave him that one-eyebrow look again. She knew him too well to be fooled, even if she didn’t know why she knew him so well.

Edmund forced the ache away. He had only himself to blame if he’d gotten hurt. All along, she had been the innocent casualty of his own foolishness.

“We are members of royal families who will be working closely together in the future. This tension between us can’t continue.” He gestured between the two of them, glad that his voice had returned to a business-like tone that matched her expression. “Maybe this can be our chance to end things better than we did. We can use this fake courtship to figure out how to be just friends.”

“I hope you realize how ridiculous that sounds.” Jalissa’s mouth curved into a hint of a smile, the trace of her humor breaking through.

There was the Jalissa he knew, buried beneath the layers of her heartache.

---