Page 106 of Pretense

“I will ask him once he and Elspetha arrive in Estyra.” Jalissa’s gaze focused on his shirt for a moment before she lifted her eyes to his. “How long will you be gone?”

“Three weeks. A month at the most.” Unless he found himself walking all the way there and back, that should be more than enough time. If he didn’t get back in a month, well, then he wasn’t going to be coming back at all. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

She pressed her mouth into a tight line, blinking and staring down at the floor again.

He lifted their clasped hands and kissed her knuckles gently. “And when I return, I’ll ask if I may court you. Properly, this time.”

Gaze flying to his, she drew in a breath, opening her mouth as if to reply.

He quickly pressed his finger over her mouth, halting whatever she had been about to say, much as he wanted to press her for an answer now.

But he had made that mistake before, pressing for an answer when he should have been patient. There in the cold, Kostarian snow, she had turned him down. She had been right to do so, truthfully.

“No, don’t give me your answer yet.” He forced a smile as he dropped his hand. “Keep me in suspense a little longer. It gives me another reason to hurry back to you.”

Right now, she was running on high emotion. She had been furious with him, then she had seen him nearly die, then she had forgiven him. She needed—no, deserved—time to process and be confident in her answer before she gave it.

Besides, they had plenty to talk about before they started a courtship that, based on how serious they already were, would end in marriage. There were things like heart bonds and if she was willing to give up hundreds of years of her life for him.

This time, he wanted no regrets for either of them.

She nodded, but she gripped his hand again. “Do not hurry back too fast. I do not wish you to make mistakes because you were hasty. I am willing to wait longer, if it means that you will return safely.”

“Of course.” He thought about kissing her knuckles again but resisted. He had to walk away one last time. Releasing her hand, he stepped past her. “Don’t worry. I’m a very good spy.”

With that, he forced himself to walk out the door. In moments, he strode into the night without looking back.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Essie tottered from the Tarenhieli train and onto the platform in Estyra, still rubbing sleep from her eyes. If not for Farrendel’s steadying hand on her elbow, she might have fallen flat on her face. “Ugh. I don’t want to get on a train again. At least, not until I stop puking every time I’m on or in something moving.”

“That may be difficult.” Instead of Farrendel, it was Weylind answering her in a far-too-serious tone.

When she glanced up, she found Weylind waiting for them on the platform, arms crossed. Essie gave another groan and leaned into Farrendel. Of course Weylind would be standing right there and overhear.

She tried to surreptitiously glance down at her shirt and tunic, making sure she hadn’t made a mess of herself while losing the contents of her stomach. Nope, she was still looking decent, even if she felt awful and icky.

“What is it, shashon?” Farrendel put his arm around her shoulders, holding her closer. “Are there more assassins?”

Jalissa stepped next to Weylind, her eyes a little red as if she had been crying. Still, she carried her head high, her movements graceful.

Essie blinked at her. Hadn’t they left Jalissa back in Escarland? When had she arrived in Tarenhiel?

Jalissa’s gaze swung to Essie, and her forehead furrowed. “Are you all right, isciena? You do not appear well.”

Before Essie could do more than grip his shirt and turn toward him, Farrendel blurted out, “Trains do not agree with the baby.”

“Baby?” Jalissa’s eyes widened.

Essie groaned and let her head thunk onto Farrendel’s shoulder. So far, he had managed to blurt it out to Melantha, Weylind, Brina, and Ryfon. The whole family was going to know at this rate. “You did it again.”

He gave a wince. “Sorry.”

“At least promise me I’ll get to tell my brothers before you blab the news.” She relaxed her grip on his shirt. He would know through the heart bond that she wasn’t mad, not really.

With Farrendel’s anxiety, she had wondered how he would react to the news of a child on the way. She would take so excited he couldn’t keep the secret for the life of him over crushing panic attacks. There were still a few of those, but far less than there would have been had he not worked so hard to get to the healthier place he was now and kept up with the help that he needed to stay functional.

Essie’s mother disembarked from the train behind them. She halted next to Essie. “You were able to tell me.” Her smile swung to Farrendel. “But you can’t help it if the father-to-be is too excited to keep the secret. Your father was always like that. It was such a struggle for him to keep the news to himself before we made the official announcement to the kingdom.”

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