Page 82 of Pretense

Edmund relaxed and dropped his hands from Jalissa’s waist.

She, too, released a long breath and dropped her magic. Yet, instead of stepping back, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her face tighter against his shoulder.

He rested his hands on her back, then rubbed up and down when she shuddered. “We’re fine. You and Sarya were amazing. If I had been here by myself, I would still be trying to figure out how to disarm it without blowing myself up.”

That just made Jalissa shudder again, her arms tightening around him. “Do not say that. I do not want to imagine you blowing up.”

He snapped his mouth shut, not quite sure what to say since he had already said the wrong thing. He was so used to dealing with the danger, then moving on. If he dwelled on his close calls, then he would have curled into a corner in a quivering ball of fear by now.

But he didn’t say that out loud, since it would sound like he was dismissing her fear. She had gone through plenty of dangerous situations before. It was to her credit that it had not numbed her the way Edmund’s life had him.

After another moment, Jalissa drew in a deep breath, stopped shuddering, and stepped back. “I am all right. I just needed a moment.”

Perhaps all he’d needed to do was stand there and hold her. He knew how to be a spy, but he had a lot to learn about being in a real relationship. Besides his family, every relationship he had was fake on some level.

That meant it was time to tell Jalissa the full truth.

A pang shot through him, sharper than anything he’d felt while Sarya disarmed the trap.

Jalissa had hugged him now, but would she still turn to him for comfort when she learned the truth?

Or would he lose her forever once she knew?

Chapter Twenty-Six

Jalissa stood in front of the board where the list of those killed at the northern border was posted each week. She tugged the hood farther over her head, trying to hide the fact that she had been checking this board so frequently.

She scanned the names quickly, her heart aching to see so many deaths. So many taken from their families and friends because the trolls refused to end this war.

Then she saw it. His name. She read it several times, hoping beyond hope that she had read it wrong. That she was not seeing that particular name written in such black strokes against the ivory paper.

But there it was. Elidyr Ruven had been killed four days ago.

She pressed her hands over her mouth, even as a strangled sob escaped before she could stifle it.

He had joined the war to avoid her, and now he was dead.

Jalissa sat on one of the chairs by the small table in this hidden cabin. She slumped against the back, yawning. She had not slept well on the train across Escarland, thanks to those benches that were more torture devices than suitable seating.

Sarya stood guard outside, with the outer door cracked open.

“You can rest, if you want. This is going to take me a while.” Edmund spoke from the other room. Through the open door, she could only see his back and a slice of the mirror and table before him. The tabletop was covered with cosmetics and pastes and putties. He used the putty to smooth out the points he had added to his ears.

“No, I am fine.” She sent her magic into the chair so that it curved in a more comfortable fashion around her. The Tarenhieli passenger train would be cozy for sleeping, and she could get several hours of rest that way.

Besides, she was fascinated by the way his steady hands smoothed putties and dabbed pastes across his face as he transformed himself into an elf. He had shaved the scruff that had grown after their day of traveling and now worked to use cosmetics to contour his face to give it an angular, elven appearance.

“Did you do this often?” Jalissa rested her head in her hand. She should not be impressed. This cabin, Edmund’s skills, they were all for spying on her kingdom.

He smudged something along each of his cheeks. “Yes. It isn’t easy for a human to pass as an elf. And I had to do a lot of traveling back and forth to attend to duties as prince of Escarland.”

“What made you become a spy?” Jalissa stifled another yawn, blinking her gritty eyes. “It is an unusual choice for a prince.”

“I was only seven when my father was killed in the war with Tarenhiel. I guess that started it.” Edmund shrugged as he leaned closer to the mirror. “I was always observant, and when I was sixteen, I partially stopped an assassination attempt on my brother.”

“Partially stopped?” Jalissa braced her head in both of her hands.

“Averett was still wounded, but I stopped the assassin from succeeding in killing him.” Edmund opened a jar of powder and started dusting it on his face.

---