Page 27 of War Bound

Instead, he rolled into a sitting position, dragging the blankets with him. He shuddered, as if freezing. “I am sorry I woke you.”

“It’s all right. Really. That’s what I’m here for. It’s been a rough couple of nights.” She rescued a corner of the blanket and pulled it over herself. “The nightmares usually start to taper off by now.”

Farrendel leaned his head against the carved headboard. “I do not believe the nightmares will stop while we are here.”

“What do you mean?” Essie searched Farrendel’s expression, but his face was turned away from her.

The silence dragged on long enough she wondered if he’d tell her. What was so wrong that he wasn’t willing to share it with her?

Finally, Farrendel let out a breath and faced her. “What I am about to tell you must not be repeated. Your brothers cannot know, as it would give Escarland the means to defeat Tarenhiel if our kingdoms ever go to war again.”

“The trolls know this big secret, don’t they?” Essie found one of Farrendel’s hands and clasped his fingers, hoping the connection of the heart bond steadied him. This couldn’t be good, if Farrendel was taking so many words to get to the point.

“Yes.” Farrendel’s thumb rubbed along the back of her hand. “You have never asked me how the trolls managed to capture me.”

It seemed like a random change of topic. Yet, why had Essie never thought to ask? She’d seen Farrendel use his magic. How had the trolls managed to capture him, much less keep him prisoner?

Fifteen years ago, he had still been the elf equivalent of a teenager. His magic might not have been as strong as it was now. But Farrendel would still have been formidable.

She had never dared ask much about the torture and the resulting scars. She figured he would tell her when he was ready.

The middle of the night after a nightmare didn’t seem like the time she would’ve picked for this conversation, but if Farrendel wanted to talk now, she wasn’t going to cut him off. She clasped his hands in both of hers. “What happened?”

He was trembling, as if trapped in a snowbank instead of blankets. “I was just coming into my magic, and with both my father and brother on the front lines fighting the trolls, I wanted to help. My father refused to have me fight directly, but he finally grew desperate enough to let me provide a shield. My magic was powerful enough it drew the attention of the trolls. One night, the trolls attacked our camp. While I provided a shield for my father and brother, a squad of trolls sneaked around our line and captured me.”

Essie eased closer to Farrendel. How had the trolls managed to capture him? Was it something like that ambush? Did they surround him and finally train enough guns on him to break through his magical shield?

Farrendel stared at the wood beams of the ceiling above. “Somehow, the trolls had learned our weakness. Stone impedes elven magic. For most, like my sisters, it is just a faint dulling. But I am, apparently, very affected.”

“Right now, in the palace, your magic isn’t as strong? You did magic earlier for my nephews. Were you able to do it because it was just a few sparks?” Essie raised her gaze, searching his face to read his expression. For as vulnerable as his words were, his expression remained shuttered.

“Yes. I can still use a great deal of my magic, even here. It is painful, yet not impossible, even if I am touching the stone.” Farrendel gave a shudder that traveled all the way down to his fingers clasped in hers. “But if the stone is laced with troll magic, it actively blocks my magic. The trolls can manipulate both rock and ice. The late troll king, and now his two sons, wielded a very potent form of their magic. It was the troll king who personally used his magic to keep me contained.”

A sudden nausea churned through Essie’s stomach. Surely, he couldn’t mean...

He pushed up his sleeve, revealing the thin scars trailing up his arm. “He threaded rock beneath my skin so that I could not use my magic. When I was rescued, it took hours to remove all the stone.”

His scars. Essie ran her fingers over one of the scars trailing up his arm. If using his magic with stone nearby hurt, how much did it hurt to have stone embedded beneath his skin?

“My father died rescuing me. I could not use my magic to defend us, and...” Farrendel drew his knees up, his head hanging. “My father died because of me.”

That’s what his nightmares were about. All this stone dampening his magic reminded him too much of the torture he suffered and the moment his father was killed rescuing him. “Your father loved you. He willingly sacrificed himself to save you from torture. It’s what any parent would do for their child.”

“He should not have. Not for me.”

“Yes, for you. You are his son. He loved you.” Essie rested a hand on Farrendel’s cheek, tipping his face toward her. “Don’t lessen his love or downplay what he did. Love is a sacrifice. It’s putting someone else’s needs above your own. Your father did that for you.”

Farrendel gave her a nod so slight she only felt it because she had her hand on his cheek. “I became Laesornysh after his death.”

In Escarland, the rumors about the war between the trolls and the elves had been so vague the timeline had become mixed up. They hadn’t known Laesornysh was just a grieving teenage elf with far too much power. She’d never pieced together that the troll king’s death at Farrendel’s hands must have come after Farrendel’s father had been killed. It had been torture and pain and grief that had turned Farrendel into a warrior and an assassin.

She had seen a similar rage during the trolls’ ambush. Even when he’d been hurt, Farrendel’s magic had exploded with terrifying fury. “Is your magic fueled by emotions?”

Magic and emotions were tied. She had seen that at work with the heart bond that had formed between her and Farrendel. The deep emotion of love had melded with magic to bind them together.

Could anger and pain do something similar with Farrendel’s magic?

“Yes, in a way.” Farrendel turned away from her again, pulling back from her touch. “The more I give in to an emotion, the less control I have over the magic. I am not sure what would happen if I ever completely lost control.”