Page 50 of Lost Soul

I look over to Prez, he’s calmed down enough to grip at my shoulder, telling me without words that we’re good. With a nod back at him, I head out of the club and to my bike. I take the longer track up to my cabin so I don’t have to pass the lodge with the thought in my head that she would never be there waiting for me again.

I open the door to my cabin and toss my keys on the table, making straight for the shower. I discard my clothes to a heap on the floor, turn on the shower and stare into the mirror. It’s the first time I’ve seen myself, and I look like shit. My eyes are red and swollen from crying, there’s blood smudged into my skin and caked thick in my hair. I look down at my hands and wonder how I’m gonna find the strength to get underneath the stream of water and wash the final traces of her away. Crimson stains are all I have left of her now, she’s gone, and she hadn't even got to live yet.

I force myself to step inside the shower, letting myself cry when the water invades my skin, turning the water red as it pools at my feet then drains away. Taking her from me forever.

I scrub my body clean and shut my eyes tight as the water rinses through my hair. All I see is her face, peaceful and painless, the spark in her green eyes missing as she stares back at me. Still so beautiful despite being soulless, and for the first in a real long time, I’m shit scared, without her here I suddenly feel like the boy that first met her again.

I’m lost.

Maddy is exactly as I left her, arms suspended above her head, tied together around the low hanging water pipe, it’s hot and humid in the basement and sweat has started to seep through the T-shirt she’s wearing—my T-shirt. Hell knows why the fuck I’d put her in it.

Her risen arms stretch out her whole body and I pull that T-shirt up over her toned thighs, just high enough to give me a glimpse of her panties. My cock aches to be closer, to feel their black lace scrape against its tip and I have to quickly remind myself what I’m here for.

She’d looked almost hopeful when she first saw me, and it made my heart want to give up beating.

This is exactly the reason I wanted to keep Maddy distant. Why our paths should never have crossed. I’d known that if they did, that someday I’d have to make the choice I was making now. The choice between her and my club.

The club and my brothers are the only life I’ve ever known, Prez just made me his VP for fuck’s sake. Loyalty to my club was never gonna be the loser here. But then, never in the worst of my fucked up thoughts did I ever expect it to come to this. Sweet, Maddy Summers, my very own guilty pleasure, the latest victim of my interrogation. The thought makes my guts wring themselves out, and my cock rock solid all at the same time.

My fingertips don’t feel the usual sting of excitement they do when I have a victim in front of me, and I dread looking up in case I get a sick thrill out of the fear in her pretty blue eyes. Eventually, I manage to swallow back the fear. I grab the chair from the middle of the room and drag the legs across the concrete floor, leaving an irritating scrape in their trail, then settle it just inches away from her. Spinning it around, to straddle, I fold my arms over the backrest and lean forward.

My eyes sit level with her perfect round tits, and despite all the heat in the room her little nipples peep up through the fabric and make me even harder. She’s distracting me, when I need to focus and I have to pull my shit together. Right now she’s a club matter, and I need to concentrate on getting us the information we need from her.

“You ready to talk?” I ask, daring a look up into those eyes. It’s wrong to find beauty in seeing her like this with long strands of blonde hair sticking to her face, and a trail of black mascara running down her cheek smudged with tears.

“I… Can't,” she says through trembling lips, and I close my eyes because it isn’t what I want to hear. I don’t want to do what comes next, but she’s leaving me with little choice.

“You know why they sent me down here, Maddy?” I tilt my head to see her from a different angle. She slowly shakes hers from side to side, her breathing uneven as she tries to hold back tears and show me a brave face.

“They sent me in here because I’m the best. I don’t give up. I get what I need by any means, and I don’t have a conscience about how I have to do it.” That last part seems like a lie, because I’m pretty sure what I’m feeling right now is something that resembles a fucking conscience.

“I can’t tell you, Jessie. I want to but I can’t,” she says through tears, confusing the fuck outta me. “Please don’t hurt me,” she begs, the quake in her voice humming all the way through my body, right down to my dick.

“I won’t have to if you do as I say…” I tell her calmly, stroking some of the hair out of her face. Me getting angry is getting us nowhere fast, so I have to try a tactic I’ve never used before, something a little more… edgy.

Anyone can be broken, you just gotta find their fear. That’s what Vex taught me.

“I gotta ask you some questions, and you need to answer them for me. Okay?” I pull the knife out of my belt, and the moonlight from the small window behind her reflects off the sharp blade when I twist the thick, black handle in my hand. Her eyes widen with terror, and my cock stretches tighter against my jeans, acting as a constant reminder why sick bastards like me don’t belong with sinless innocents like her.

“You a virgin?” I ask, already knowing the answer. Hayley told me they’d talked about it. But I want to test if she has any intention of being honest with me, that, and the fact I want to hear the words come out of her pretty mouth myself.

“Yes,” she whispers closing her eyes, her head falling forward like she’s ashamed.

“Say it.” Crushing her jaw in the arch of my hand, I force her to look back at me. Waiting to hear confirmation from her that she’s untouched, while a sick idea of how to get her to talk roots itself in my head and makes it hard to stay focused.

“I’m a virgin,” she manages to muffle against the strain of my fingers. Her lips look fucking delicious pushed together, and I have to try real fucking hard to stop myself wanting to taste them. Seeing her like this has any chance of backing out of what I’m planning, up and fucking off completely.

Maddy had told Hayley she was waiting for the right one. She had the perfect little package all wrapped up ready for some special guy to take. And it doesn’t take a bright mind to figure that I was never gonna be that fucking guy.

I don’t even know who the guy is, I don’t think she’s even met him, and already I want to hunt him down. The thought of another man touching her made me kill crazy. Whoever he is he doesn’t deserve her, no one does. Least of all me.

I imagine how it would break her, to rip perfect away from her, to steal the innocence that she’s been preserving for real love.

Love never had a place in the world I came from, but loyalty fucking ruled it, and if it comes to it… I’ll have to take something precious from her, same as she’s taken something precious from us.

I roll the T-shirt higher over her pert tits, leaving it to sit on top of them, my fingers ache to leave a soft trail across her flawless skin, and somehow I manage to hold them back.

“Has anyone ever touched you here?” I ask, my eyes dropping to her round tits, my knife blade pressing against one of her hard, pink nipples.

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