Page 82 of Lost Soul

Jessie is right, the club needed to take care of this their way and despite me knowing that it means violence, I’m prepared to do whatever I can to help them. All Tobias Saunders and the Bastards can do now is sit tight and wait. Justice is coming for them and I have every reason to believe that it’s gonna be brutal.

Jessie gets home from church just after five and I can tell straight away that although his mind is exhausted, his body needs release. I want so badly to give it to him, but he still sees me as fragile. He’ll be gentle for me, but I don’t want this to be for me. I want it to be for him.

Gentle isn’t what he needs right now.

I’m not what he needs right now.

Jessie doesn’t say a lot, he eats the meal I’ve prepared for him and then takes a shower. He looks shocked when he comes out of the bathroom and finds me waiting with the list of names I found in his jeans pocket a few days ago when I was doing laundry. I try not to be distracted by how hot he looks wearing just a towel when he comes straight at me and snatches it from between my fingers.

“Are these the people you hurt?” I ask him.

“That’s club business, ain’t for you to worry about, darlin’.” Wet drips fall from his hair onto my chest when he dips his head to kiss my forehead.

“Maybe you should get out of here tonight, you could cross another name off that list,” I shrug casually. I want him to understand that I accept him and the things he needs.

“You need me here.” His head shakes, but I can see that he’s tempted.

“And what do you need?” Scooping his hand up in mine, I bring it to my lips and press them against his knuckles and club ring. “I’m safe here, and I’ll still be here when you get back. Go do whatever it is you need to do. Just come back to me after.”

“What the fuck did I ever do to deserve you?” he asks me, opening up his hand and stroking it over my cheek. His touch is so delicate it’s hard to imagine him leaving here and causing anyone any pain.

He grabs his phone from the table and sends a text, then heads into the bedroom. He returns minutes later fully dressed with his hair tied back. He moves over to one of the drawers and takes out a handgun and slips it inside his shoulder holster, then puts his cut on over the top. When he bends down to tie up his boots, I stand right in front of him, and his eyes crawl up my body as he stands back up. My whole body catches fire when he takes my face in his hands and kisses me hard on the mouth.

“Be careful,” I whisper, and he smirks back at me as if he’s invincible, then places another kiss on my lips before he heads out the door.

I wait until I hear his bike leave the yard before I gather myself together. I open up my laptop and get to work.

I find Tobias Saunders’ file and pour myself a large glass of wine while I prepare myself to read it. He’s wanted for murder. The murder of Helen Saunders, his own wife and Tommy’s mother. I see the reports on what he’d done to her, the whole case was built and ready to go to trial but he’d skipped and vanished without a trace. I read the witness statements, friends of Helen’s who said she’d been planning to leave him, that he scared her. I wonder how much Skid knew about all of this.

Also linked to his file are a list of unsolved cases that he’s a suspect for. Another murder, this time a prostitute, and numerous rapes and assaults. All ironically taking place in the same town that Tobias Saunders had lived during the time they happened.

By the time I’m done reading I can understand why Brax had wanted me to bury the file. Chop needed a taste of real justice, and getting it from the authorities wouldn’t be enough. Skid deserves to execute whatever punishment the club comes up with and I will do anything I can to help make sure that happens.

My hands shake as I bring up the video, and begin watching it again.

“Where is it?” He’d asked Carly that question as soon as he arrived.

Where was what? What had he been looking for? Whatever it was must have been important enough to bring him back to the club despite the risk of him being arrested.

“You don’t have to play the clueless fuckin’ bitch with me. You know what I mean.” If Carly knew she would have told him, she wouldn’t have put herself in danger especially knowing it wasn’t just her he could hurt. Finding out what he wanted could be the key to finding out where he is.

I rush out of the door before thinking, dashing three doors down to Skid’s cabin, and my hand is knocking at his door before my brain can tell me it’s a bad idea. When the door swings open, Skid rocks in front of me with his broad, hairy chest exposed, and jeans undone, hanging loose around his waist. There’s a half full bottle swinging in his hand, and judging by the way he’s swaying with it I’d say he’s drunk. The way his eyes are empty of emotion tells me that he’s broken apart and can never be fixed.

“Can I come in?” I ask, surprised when he actually opens the door wider and stumbles back enough for me to enter. I follow him inside, and he slumps back into the arm chair and takes a swig from the bottle.

“Skid, I’m so sorry—”

“This ain’t on you,” he interrupts me with a low growl. “This is my fault.”

“You can’t blame yourself, nobody expected Chop to…” I can’t finish the sentence.

“He was your brother, he was everyone’s brother and he betrayed you. Surely you see that?”

“Why are you here, Maddy?” Skid asks me impatiently. “If you think you can make me feel better, save your time, it ain’t gonna happen.”

“I’m here because I want to help you, I want to help you all find Chop and make sure he gets what he deserves.”

“And how do you figure you’re gonna do that?” He huffs a laugh, looking at me like I’m a stupid child.

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