Page 98 of Think Outside the Boss

And I hate feeling powerless. So I open my emails and type a quick one to Gwen in HR, still keeping my internal promise not to interfere. Let me know when you have a viable candidate for Milan, I write. I want the position filled as soon as possible.

The emotions inside me still as soon as I’ve sent it. At least I’ll be notified when she’s made a decision. Should give me an opportunity to put on my game face for when she comes to tell me. To break up with me gently. Tell me she’s following her dreams, the way I want for her. Even if it’ll hurt.

I don’t know if it makes it easier or harder that we won’t have much time to spend together before she goes. The company’s holiday party is tomorrow night. Then I fly to Tahiti with Joshua, and she heads to Philadelphia to celebrate Christmas with her family.

A quick, rapid-fire succession of knocks on my office door, the pattern familiar. “Come in.”

Clive’s navy-blue suit is a bit too large for his form. He’s wearing the same bland smile as always, but it widens when he notices my scowl.

“You look like you want to punch someone,” he comments. “Should I leave? Because I’m not a volunteer.”

“No, I’m good.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. What do you need?”

He doesn’t waste any time. That’s one of the things I’ve always appreciated with Clive as a COO, that he isn’t here for idle chitchat or trying to get to know me. We run a business, so let’s get down to running it.

“Actually,” he says, sinking down in the chair in front of my desk, “what I want is an update on the mole situation.”

My mood sours further. The fucking leak had struck again, at least if the article Anthony sent me this morning was correct. A rival company in the biotech sphere just unveiled their new five-year plan, and it’s nearly point for point the same as the business strategy we’d developed for a client.

I run a hand through my hair. “I think it’s time we start broadening our horizons away from just Strategy.”

He frowns. “Logically, Strategy makes the most sense. They’re the only ones with access, if one excludes the executive branch. And it’s not amongst us.”

“I have it on good authority that it’s most likely not an employee in Strategy.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I want you to draw up a list of everyone who knew about the biotech strategy for Finley. Leave no one out, including the two of us.”

His eyebrows rise. “Okay, sure thing. But just out of curiosity… who is your source in the Strategy Department?”

The name hovers on my tongue, but something about Clive’s interest halts me. Freddie doesn’t deserve to be dragged into this. “I’ll keep that to myself.”

“Yes, sir.”

Clive shuts the door behind him as he leaves, the silence of my office complete. The way I usually like it, but today, the absence of sound grates. It leaves too much space for my thoughts.

A click on my keyboard wakes my computer to life, and there’s already a peppy email waiting there for me from Gwen in HR.

Great news! We’ve found a trainee from the New York office who would be excellent for the position. We just need to dot some i’s and cross a few t’s, but we’ll have the position filled shortly!

I close my eyes and push back from the desk, telling myself I’m happy for Freddie, but all I feel is happiness slipping out of my grasp.

24

Freddie

I spin the frosted glass of white wine around, the red imprint from my lipstick sharp against the rim. He isn’t here, and yet I can’t stop glancing around the packed holiday party, searching for a glimpse of the man I’d first locked eyes with across the Gilded Room. The man who grilled s’mores with his adopted son in the fireplace of a multi-million-dollar apartment. The man who’d refused to be categorized from the very start.

“Earth to Freddie,” Toby says. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

“You looked lost in thought,” he says. “I hope you were somewhere far better.”

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