Page 18 of Think Outside the Boss

There’s no acknowledgment of my snarky email. Ice-cold dread punches me in the stomach. “Just give me a minute, and we can walk out together.”

I open the sent folder in my email and scroll down. Perhaps it had just not delivered? No, it had…

Then I see it.

The letter hasn’t been delivered to Toby, because I hadn’t forwarded it. No, I’d accidentally hit reply. On the recipient line is an email address that hurts to look at.

[email protected]

5

Tristan

The bastard that invented email should be hung and quartered, I decide, staring at the shiny icons on my screen. I have a secretary who sorts through my mailbox, marking the important emails as unread for me to take a look at. She’s good at what she does.

But there’s still one hundred and sixty three waiting for me?

At this rate, I’ll need another espresso before it’s nine o’clock. I’d only had half of my first, at any rate. Joshua had knocked it out of my hand as he reached across me for another croissant.

Yes, my kid eats croissants now. I don’t know when he became so fancy, but he woke up one day and asked if we could switch from New York bagels to croissants, pronounced damn near perfectly. It took me two days to learn about a new girl in his class, recently moved here with her family from Paris. Her name is Danielle and my son had overheard her asking if the school cafeteria had croissants one day.

So now I’m stuck eating the flaky things every morning with my kid before I’m attacked en masse by tiny, electronic messages. For a consulting firm, most people at Exciteur Global aren’t particularly good at consulting their own judgement before emailing.

So I work my way through the list, replying as I go. No. Yes. Schedule the meeting. I’ll call you tomorrow.

I’m frowning as I open one from [email protected]. It’s not an address I recognize.

RE: A Thank You to the Troops

Do you think management genuinely believes everyone has marked a giant, excited X on their calendar for the Thanksgiving lunch? Perhaps he should serve a side of humility with the mash…

Sincerely,

Freddie Bilson,

Junior Professionals Trainee,

Strategy Department

My eyes re-read the letter once. Twice. Serve a side of humility?

Despite the insolence of the words, the turn of phrase makes me snort. This fucker thinks he knows better than me, does he? My hand hovers over the forward button, ready to let HR know what type of person we’ve hired as part of the yearly trainee program. Mr. Bilson would be let go on the spot.

But if I do, I’d be fulfilling the very reputation I’m trying to work against. The first months at this company, I’d had to slash things that weren’t working and return to the core of what Exciteur does best. The previous leadership had lost its footing, and I’d had to course correct. But I’m well aware that a lot of people at the company don’t see it that way.

I can’t fire this young man for being insolent. Not even for being so incompetent as to not know the difference between the forward and reply button. Doesn’t mean I can’t teach him a lesson, though.

Hitting reply, I type a sarcastic response that should send him shaking in his newly bought Oxford shoes.

RE: A Thank You to the Troops

Freddie,

What a pleasure to hear directly from one of the most inexperienced members of our company. A person with as spirited opinions as yours is naturally inclined to share them, so please tell me what, besides humility, you’d like served with your mash?

Tristan Conway

CEO of Exciteur Global

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