Page 48 of Abstract Passion

Dear Universe, you can stop now. I swear, I’m good.

“Yep. Five years.” I turn to look at Shelly and smile. “And life is incredible.” For a moment, I lose myself in my Shelly bliss bubble. Stare at her shimmering twilight eyes and forget we are in the middle of Target and Kelsey is less than five feet away.

“Um, that’s… I… that’s great, Devlyn.”

I kiss Shelly’s temple before returning my attention to Kelsey. She shifts from foot to foot. Her eyes dart from me to Shelly and back. And for the first time in years, I don’t open my mouth to try and appease someone else. Don’t say anything to steer the awkward tension away from her. Because for too many years, I have always done things to make other people happy, but not myself. That time is over.

Except when it comes to Shelly. Her happiness is my happiness because she doesn’t hold expectations over my head like a weapon. She loves me unconditionally.

“Well, we need to go,” I say and start to turn us away.

“Was good seeing you, Devlyn.”

I nod and lift a hand. “Bye, Kelsey.”

Yes, I realize my response sounds cold and heartless, but I don’t care. I owe that woman nothing. In another life, Kelsey meant everything to me. I would have done anything and everything for her. She took advantage of my selfless heart and broke it like I didn’t matter. My curtness was me being nice, mature.

We go through the checkout and pay for the baby’s first toy. Shelly and I wander to the exit, arms hooked at the elbows. If I were with any other person, I would have been bombarded with questions the second we stepped away from Kelsey.

But Shelly isn’t like anyone else.

Inevitably, she will speak up. Curiosity will outweigh contemplation. But she will wait an appropriate amount of time to ask the most significant question. She won’t drown me in an endless interrogation. Not Shelly. She will pick one question, just one, and ask without jealousy or guilt.

I crank the engine and let the air conditioning cool the cab before we back out. Shelly removes the toy from the bag and crinkles the floppy ears. Her eyes laser-focused on the little stuffed dog as she remains deep in thought.

I reach over the console and rest a hand on her thigh. In a flash, her eyes meet mine. And I see the question already forming on her lips.

“Are you okay?”

Of all the questions Shelly could have asked, of all the terse words she could have said, this was not what I expected. Not by a long shot.

Shelly has a big heart and a beautiful soul. The fact she is more worried about how I feel speaks volumes. She could have gone into a tizzy. Spewed words of jealousy or mistrust. Pushed away from me after dealing with yet another demon of my past.

But that isn’t her style. Shelly has more class and is wise beyond her years.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I shrug. “Honestly, I thought I’d feel different.”

“How so?”

Months after our breakup, I often wondered what it would be like to see Kelsey again. Would it be tense and awkward or fueled by anger? Would I hate the sight of her or secretly wish to wrap her in my arms? With each passing year, the same unanswered questions lingered. Took up residence in my head.

Until Shelly.

In no time, everything I’d felt for Kelsey—the good and bad—vanished. For years, the sadness over losing one girl fueled a lot of my darker pieces. She’d blackened my young, impressionable heart.

The moment I saw Shelly, Kelsey became a ghost. I no longer saw or felt her. While the scars of what she’d done remained, her hold on me evaporated. Kelsey had been a placeholder until Shelly’s path collided with mine.

“Long before you and I met, I pictured what it’d be like seeing Kelsey again. Considering her parents live in the area, the chances were likely. I’d always seen it as this big deal. Me being excited or angry when it finally happened.”

“And how was it?”

My thumb strokes over her thigh and I watch the action for a beat. “Lackluster,” I say on a laugh. “No anger, but there was a hint of happiness.” Shelly tenses under my touch. “But not for the reason you think.” My eyes lift to hers. “I’m happy because I’ve moved on. I’m happy because I have you.” I suck in a deep breath. “Although what she did was horrible, although it sent me to a dark place for so long, had she not done it, I wouldn’t be here with you.”

Tears rim her eyes and add a new luster to the gold flecks.

“I love you, Shelly Reed. You.” I lift my hand and rest it on her rounding belly. “I love everything about us. What we are and what we will become.”

“I love you, Devlyn Templar.” A tear falls down her cheek. “And I can’t wait to see where we go from here.” She holds up her pointer finger. “But first… can we stop bumping into the past?” she asks on a laugh.

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