Page 18 of Abstract Passion

After a beat, I blink. Take a slow, methodical breath. Swallow past the bubbling anxiety clawing its way up my throat. Shift my gaze and lock onto Shelly’s starry-blue irises. Eyes that soothe me in ways nothing else does.

“My mother is here,” I whisper almost inaudibly. Shelly starts to turn her head, but I grab her elbow. Switch her focus back to mine. “Please don’t turn around.” A surge of fear spreads through my bones and rattles me head to toe. The need to protect Shelly from her floods my veins.

“Where is she?” Shelly whispers.

“Two aisles down.” I shake almost imperceptibly. “Don’t think she saw us, but can’t be sure.” I close my eyes for two breaths.Why is she here? She doesn’t live on this side of the bay. So why is she shoppinghere? “Just please… please wait a minute. I’m sure she’ll—”

My words get cut off as my mother sidles up to us. “Devlyn, what on earth?”

Hours of therapy turns to dust in my head as my mother stares down at me with black eyes. In a blink, all rational thought leaves my body. And in its place… the scared little boy living inside me emerges. I don’t speak. Don’t know the first response to the situation. All I know is, I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to exist in the same space as her. Don’t want to breathe the same air as her.

I need to leave.Weneed to leave. Now.

When I don’t respond, she tackles me verbally. “I have been calling and texting and stopping by the house. What is the matter with you?” While she babbles on about how my lack of contact bothers her, I take note that she has yet to acknowledge Shelly. “Your father and I have been worried sick. Your behavior has made me absolutely sick.”

I tighten my hold on Shelly and nudge forward, hoping she catches my signal to leave. I take a step and Shelly falls in line beside me. Then, she is the one tugging us faster to the checkout. As if she senses my absolute need to leave. To get out of this store and away from my mother, sooner rather than later.

All the while, my mother is on our heels, berating me loud enough for the entire grocery store to hear.

“You will not walk away from me, young man.”

Shelly and I dart into the express line, toss our snacks on the belt and face the cashier with pained smiles.

“Look at me when I speak to you,” she demands, but I don’t comply.

Per Dr. Prince’s advice, I carry on and try to push past the cold demands. Ignore the words that are meant to sound sad, but are actually a ploy to crush me with her pointy, overpriced heels.

The cashier scans our groceries and bags them quickly.Thank you.I slip my card into the reader and press the appropriate buttons to pay the bill. As soon as the receipt is in the bag, I swipe it from the counter, take Shelly’s hand and dart for the exit.

“She’ll leave you. Just like the last one did. Who will be there when she abandons you?”

I freeze just before the door. Close my eyes and grind my molars. Remind myself to breathe. Remind myself that she will use whatever manipulation tactic necessary to keep me exactly where she wants me. Alone and at her mercy.

Never again.

Shelly squeezes my hand. Snaps me back to the here and now. Reminds me of why I need to make a change. Why I need to vanquish the pain and hurt and misguidance of my past. For her. For our baby. A baby my mother will never know about. Ever.

“Let’s go.” Shelly’s thumb strokes the top of my hand. “I got you.” Without a backward glance, Shelly and I exit the store. When we reach the car, she makes me sit in the passenger seat. “It’s better if you don’t drive right now. You need a minute.”

Behind the wheel, she cranks the engine, clicks her seat belt into place and throws the car in reverse. We zip out of the lot and drive slightly over the speed limit the entire way home. If we get pulled over, I’ll gladly pay the fine to avoid one more second in the same space as Karen Templar.

Shelly parks the car in the driveway. And it’s not until we are in the house, door locked and alarm set, that I finally take a full breath. Finally let everything that just happened sink in. I shiver from head to toe. Shelly drops the groceries at her feet and wraps her arms around my chest. She hauls me forward until not a breath of air resides between us. Then she hugs me with unimaginable force. It isn’t strength. More like warmth and love and a promise to always pick me up when I fall.

Right there, near the entrance of the kitchen, I hold on to her as if my life depends on it. I hug her and cry into the crook of her neck. Sob and shake as years of pain and hurt spill from my body, from my soul.

“Let it all out.” One of her hands is in my hair, the other squeezing my middle. “I got you.” She kisses my shoulder. “I always have you.”

When my tears slow, I lean back and cup Shelly’s cheeks with my palms. “Love you so much.” I press my lips to hers. Kiss her with unimaginable tenderness. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

A soft smile dons her lips and lifts the corners of her eyes. “Good thing you’ll never find out.” She kisses me chastely. “I love you more.”

I highly doubt that.

NINE

SHELLY

The belljingles over the front door of Petal and Vine. I peek up from the arrangement in front of me to see an older couple. “Good afternoon,” I greet them and lift my hand to wave.

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