Page 24 of Submissive Lies

SEVEN

“Yes, sir.”

The voice I used for those two words was one I hadn’t used in a year.

Sexual tension crackled between us like a bare wire electrical charge. For Steve, I had to believe he was more than a little curious about what had just taken place. He sure as hell had to be a little intrigued by my reaction. Especially as the Dominant I was now certain he was. For myself, what had taken place was the chance to engage with someone in a way I hadn’t done in a long time. An opening I’d seized upon, almost without realizing I’d done so until I was knee-deep into it. Prepared to ignore all the this-is-just-so-wrong for a chance of another fleeting taste.

-Good job, Jen. Jesus Christ, you are beyond belief. Why don’t you just get down on your knees and offer to—

Shut up. Just shut up.

The actions we’d engaged in made it clear we both knew what we were doing. At least to me they did, and that was part of what was tearing at me now. We were dancing a dance. The one that typically starts with a two-step of flirting, and proceeds from there. Problem here was that Steve and I skipped right past the two-step, diving headfirst into a tango. And that went way beyond my ogling him earlier. Way beyond. Deep into territory that my brain was now throwing up red flags left and right.

I had two issues confronting me. One was the small matter of us standing at a desk on the floor of the McCormick Convention Center, which was the giant concrete elephant in the room. The other one I didn’t even want to address. It was a raw wound that this situation had ripped the scab off of and standing here continuing to engage with Steve wasn’t helping.

On top of everything else, now was the moment that Keith chose to approach us.

“Hey, Steve, it’s coming up on lunch. Do we want to break the guys?”

Keith was ignorant of what had just taken place, which was good. I sure as hell did not want to deal with that too right now. Steve gave no indication of being thrown off stride by the interruption. He turned to Keith and smiled.

“Yeah, now’s a good time. I think Ms. Boyd and I have the electrical problem sorted out. We’ll jump back on that right after lunch.”

Keith nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll let the guys know.” He walked off, calling out to the rest of the crew to “Take thirty!” for their lunch.

Steve turned towards me, and his penetrating gray eyes made my breath hitch. He scanned me from top to bottom, looking as if he were sizing me up and deciding on his next move. “Can I get you anything for lunch, Jen? Or would you like to go out together for something?”

Another shiver like the one earlier raced up my spine.

-Something, huh? Oh, I bet you can think of something…-

Stop! Don’t even go there.

I went into second-guessing mode. Looking at Steve as he waited for me to answer his question, I did my best to keep myself from lowering my eyes, clasping my hands in front of me, or anything that appeared even remotely submissive. Instead, I slapped my Professional Jen face back on to erase any trace of what I’d done a few moments ago. I knew I needed to answer him. I needed to shove aside all these competing theories over what I thought I’d heard him say, what I assumed his reactions meant. The portion of my brain that told me to grab him and pull him somewhere private and ask him whether what I’d felt reciprocated by him was actually there. To confirm whether any of this was more than just a fantasy built upon my repressed, pent-up desires. The thought of doing that, though, scared the ever-loving hell out of me. Because what if he said yes? What if he confirmed that my suspicions were correct?

-Yeah. What then, Jen? How are you going to deal with that?-

I’d dived quick and deep down that rabbit hole, and I needed to get back to the surface fast. Say something. Do something. Standing there saying nothing could telegraph all the wrong signals. Signals that I did not want to send just yet.

-Ah. Just yet. Nice. Hedging your fucking bets already, aren’t you?-

I was panicking. I’d done what I did because in the moment it had felt so good. So natural. And now suddenly it was feeling like all manner of shit. So, I did the only reasonable thing I could do in a situation like this.

I ran.

“I… I think I’m going to go grab a bite to eat by myself, Steve. I… I have some… e-mails and work stuff I need to catch up on.”

His expression slipped, mouth falling open for a brief second before he snapped it shut. He never missed a beat, however. He squared his shoulders and nodded, stepping away from the table.

“Okay, sounds good. I’ll see you when you get back.”

I may have been wrong about every other signal I’d seen in the last fifteen minutes, but I know what I saw flit across his face just then. It was clear, it was genuine, and it was definitely disappointment.

He cast one more glance at me, and his eyes were piercing, assessing. My stomach did another flip.

What’s he thinking?

-What the fuck do you think he’s thinking? Some crazy sub just threw herself at his feet, and now she’s bolting like she got marked with a branding iron. He’s wondering how quick he can get his ass off this call!-

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