Page 54 of Submissive Lies

THIRTEEN

Sleep did not give me up easily, or without a fight.

Despite the effort, I awoke to the bed shifting, mattress dipping and then settling back into place from movement somewhere. Cool air flooded underneath the covers for a moment before they fell back into place, warmth returning to blanket me. I blinked away slumber, opening my eyes to a room still dark except for the city lights coming through the window casting a faint glow across the walls.

“Hey gorgeous.” Steve’s voice was soft as he leaned over, lips gently grazing my forehead.

“What time is it?” I murmured, still groggy. Shifting under the covers, I looked up at him. His shirt was on, unbuttoned, and I watched as he did it up.

“5 am. I need to get back to my room and get into work clothes. I have to be on the floor at seven.”

Stretching, I extended my legs until muscles ached at the strain. Shifting back, I slid one foot out until my toes found purchase on his leg and pressed against it. I wriggled them against the smooth fabric of his pants, feeling the muscle underneath. Pushing at the bedding to get out from under them, I tried to suppress the yawn that emerged from me despite my effort. “I should get up, too…”

Steve frowned, drawing the sheets back up over me. “You don’t have to. Sleep. We’ll get things rolling and you can show up when you’re ready.”

I blinked, tilting my head to give him a sidelong look. “I’ll be there on time. I just need to get moving. Go exercise, take a shower and then get myself dressed.”

Steve stared back at me, wry amusement fighting the serious look he was trying to maintain. “I’m both offended and delighted by that statement.”

“Umm, why?” I squinted in confusion as his grin grew wider.

“I’d have thought,” he said, leaning down until his forehead nearly touched mine. “That I gave you more than enough exercise last night.” His grin became wicked, matched by the low growl of his voice. “Obviously I was wrong. You’re a hell of a lot stronger than I gave you credit for. Something I think I’ll need to put to the test next time.”

I choked out a gasp as his arm wrapped around my back, pulling me to him. The kiss he crushed to my lips was fierce, promising nothing gentle. Once he let me go I caught my breath, gulping in air to slow my heart racing in response to what that comment implied. Once I had myself back in control, I plastered a devil-may-care grin across my face.

“Army brat, remember? Best you don’t forget it.”

“Yes, ma’am!” He snapped off a half-assed parody of a salute, laughing as he did. Bending, he kissed me one more time before pulling off the bed, the mattress flexing as he moved away.

For my part I indulged myself, just lying there as he finished dressing. Jesus, he was gorgeous. Arousal made my pussy tighten at nothing more than watching him pulling his pants on, hand roughly cramming the hem of his dress shirt into the waistband, shoving the tie into a pocket. I was half-tempted to pull him back onto the bed and help me exercise in a different way than going to the hotel gym. I didn’t, however. Work before pleasure. I was certain Steve and I shared that in common, he a Marine, and myself from an Army family where that phrase had been an inescapable mantra. I suspected if I tried to lure him back to bed it would have ended in failure. Polite kindness to my attempt, gentle rebuff to my seduction, all ending right back at square one. For now, I consoled myself with not getting a more-than-decent morning fuck by watching him with contentment as he dressed.

“Okay, I’ve got to go.” He sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over me. His fingers brushed my cheek. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, okay?”

“I’ll be there,” I said, smiling back. My hand came up to touch him, holding his fingers in place.

He nodded, leaving his hand clasped in mine as he looked down at me. Then his mouth was crushed against mine, a kiss that was twisting turbulent passion as we tried to consume each other. My hand moved in blind, jerky movements that bumped against his cheek, and then his neck until it found the back of his head, holding him in an unyielding embrace. I ached to keep his mouth captured to mine, the solid planes of his body pressed tight to me. There was an almost violence to the way we clung to each other, savage, erratic movements punctuated by low growls and keening moans. Finally, they eased, and as we slowed, the hunger seemed appeased for the time being. Regaining our breath, he held his forehead against mine and I pressed back to him, my hand still splayed at the back of his head. I released him when he pulled against my grip to move away. He gathered up his jacket, throwing it on carelessly as he moved to the door. I set my jaw to stop myself from begging selfishly for him to come back to bed and fuck me senseless.

“See you soon.” His voice was soft as he paused, hand on the handle. For a second it seemed he might turn, come back to the bed on thoughts as greedy as mine. He didn’t, though. He pulled the door open, stepped through, closing it quietly behind him.

I remained in bed for a while after Steve left, going over the past twenty-four hours in my head. So much had happened in that time, from my epiphany, to dinner, to waking up snuggled next to him.

And a conversation with Thomas that was still unresolved.

Yes. That. I found my clutch where I’d dropped it last night and pulled my phone out. Nothing. Not a message or a single text. Goddammit, Thomas. What the fuck. Sitting here, covers pulled up around my knees, my thoughts flitted from one thing to another with abandon. Behind them all my inner demon rattled its cage, clamoring for attention that I refused to give. Gnashing teeth, it tried to throw up a ‘Thomas’ or a ‘hypocrite’ wherever it could, but I refused to listen. I hugged my knees tight, and though I knew there was a lot of unfinished business I would need to address soon, I couldn’t dwell on it now. Not with memories still as fresh in my mind as the ache of the stripes on my backside, or the still lingering scent of Steve in my head that pushed everything else aside.

Huddling in the bed, a half an hour passed in reflection before I forced myself to get up. Digging through the closet I pulled out the gym clothes I’d thrown in there yesterday. I tugged them on, slipped into socks, shoes, and grabbed my key card. Slipping out of the room, I was almost reluctant to leave, as if the moment I did what had taken place last night would disappear forever. It was a peculiar feeling, and it lingered with me as I walked through the silent, empty hallways, making my way to the hotel gym. It was empty at this hour, and I went about my routine in quiet solitude. My mind wouldn’t focus on my workout, but was back in the room, on the bed, reliving everything Steve had done, my every reaction. It was both distracting and titillating at the same time. With every stretch of my muscles the remains of the marks on my ass and thighs tingled, reminding me of what had gone on. Successive memories that built on each other until a self-satisfied grin was plastered across my face. I was just fucking happy, and I did not attempt to hide it. I finished my workout alone, the space as silent as it had been when I first arrived. As I walked back to my room, the elevator and halls were empty, quiet in the early morning calm. I threw my gym clothes back in the closet, grabbed some underwear, and then headed into the bathroom. Steve had straightened up at some point, picked our towels up and put them away. I held his to my face. Breathing deep, eyes closed, I caught the faintest trace of his scent in the damp cloth.

-Jesus Christ, Jen. What the hell is wrong with you? Knock it off. Okay, sure, it was great. Incredible. But let’s be real here. You’ve got a few more nights with him at best, and then you’re back home and that’s the end of that. And let’s not forget that you still have a shitload of things to deal with when you do get back there. Did you forget about that? So, put the fucking towel down, stop acting like some lovelorn teenager, enjoy what time you’ve got left, and get your head back in the game, m’kay?-

Lowering the towel, I looked at myself in the mirror. Everything I was saying was true. It had been wonderful, and as I’d told Steve, something I’d needed very much. However, there was no denying that this was a transitory thing, and after this show was over, it would become a footnote to a brief period in my life. A time of correction. A small though wonderful part of a greater whole. It was a bittersweet thought as I carefully folded the towel, setting it back onto the counter.

I started the shower, then stepped inside. The water washed over me, but the feeling was light-years from what I’d felt with Steve. I closed my eyes, head tilted back, swallowing a lump in my throat that threatened to turn into tears. Hands clenched, I gritted my teeth until my jaw ached. I would not second-guess what had happened or taint what might lay ahead of me. I would just fucking enjoy this for what it was and then move on with my life. Letting the water become a salve, as the heat soaked in I gathered up my emotions and did my best to compartmentalize them so I could center my thoughts. What had happened between Steve and I was the beginning of a process. The first steps towards reclaiming who I truly was and putting an end to the lies I had perpetuated. All the yummy, sexy feelings, the stripes decorating my ass aside, everything that had happened boiled down to that concept.

Reclaiming who I was.

I’d had a come-to-Jesus meeting with myself and decided that I was moving forward with my life, not clinging to a flawed past. I wouldn’t let my past change me into something I wasn’t. Handwringing over what I’d done, focusing solely on those past decisions and mistakes I’d made wasn’t pushing me in the right direction. I still had things I needed to take care of. However, from here on, I needed to focus on driving ahead. Not looking back and dragging the chain of my lies along with me.

Coming out of the shower, I dried myself off and slipped into my underwear. As I put my work clothes for the day on, I glanced over and caught sight of my phone where I’d tossed it earlier. Snatching it up from the table, I flicked the screen alive.

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