Page 13 of Submissive Lies

FOUR

I woke the next morning to Thomas shifting in bed.

I’d nestled to his back, and he rolled to me, eyes blinking owlishly as he came awake. His face wrinkled into a soft smile as he gazed at me. “Hey beautiful.”

I smiled back, cupping my hand to his cheek, feeling the coarse stubble. “Hey you.”

He leaned forward and kissed me gently. After a moment, he pulled away, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

“Mmm…” I sighed at the intimacy of the gesture, letting myself drift into the cocoon of affection he’d created.

“How are you feeling this morning? Little sore?”

My eyes almost snapped open.

Oh no.

I forced myself to lie motionless. I couldn’t let Thomas see my reaction. See the dismay those two little words had spawned within me. I kept my eyes closed so he couldn’t read the disappointment that might show if I dared to open them. Remaining silent, I let his words hang between us, keeping my face as neutral as I could. Dear God. He seriously thought his rough sex from last night had made me sore. I centered myself, straining to keep my breathing relaxed and then slowly let the air trickle out.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” I kept my eyes closed for a bit longer. I knew I couldn’t trust myself not to react if I opened them and saw the air of self-satisfied, peacocking pride I suspected from his tone. No. I was certain I would unravel at the seams if I peeked and found him staring back at me like that. Fortunately, Thomas solved the problem. Chuckling softly, he slid to the edge of the mattress and then slipped off the bed. Cracking one eye open, I watched as he padded to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I leaned back against my pillow and groaned.

God dammit. What am I going to do?

-Okay, here’s a thought: his belt is right there at the end of the bed. Why don’t you pick it up, go into the bathroom, lean your hands on the counter, then when he comes out, tell him you want him to whip your ass red?-

Oh, God, yes. But… fuck no! He thinks what he did last night made me sore!

-Well, now’s your chance to show him what would really make you feel sore.-

In the end, I just lay there burrowing into the covers, attempting to hide from what was waiting out there. Him. Smiling that smile. Eventually he came out and—goddammit—there it was. That expression of smug satisfaction plastered across his face, exactly as I’d been afraid of.

“I’m gonna head downstairs and make coffee, start on some breakfast, okay?”

“Sure,” I nodded, slapping on a smile. “I’ll be down in a few.”

He came over to the bed and kissed me. The whole time that superior look never left his face, and I knew exactly what was going on in that head of his.

-Oh, look at that! Isn’t it cute! He thinks he knows your dirty little secret!-

Shut it. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

-You made this bed. Enjoy lying in it.-

Gritting my teeth, I waited until Thomas left the room. Once he was gone I scrambled up, wrenching the covers aside until they were wadded in a heap at the foot of the bed. I sat for a moment, legs dangling over the edge as I tried to calm myself. Maybe my reaction was irrational, but right now I wasn’t sure of anything except that this was wrong. Everything about this was just wrong. I had to do something. I had to speak to him. Now. Today. Soon. He was just going to go on thinking he had this entire situation sewed up. That he had me pegged. That he knew exactly what my needs were.

My needs. My desires.

-And… what? Hmm? You do that, tell him everything, and exactly how do you think he’s going to react?-

I don’t know.

-Oh, bullshit. You do know. You know exactly how he’ll react if you suddenly open up about your submissive desires.-

Well, what then? Just…

-Yes?-

---