Page 31 of Always Her Cowboy

“They say the first one is always the easiest. The first child lulls you into a false sense of security.”

“I would’ve been willing to take my chances.” I shrug.

“She wasn’t.”

“No. she said it was too much of a strain on her body. She has to carry it, so who was I to judge her for knowing her limits?”

“You have no idea how amazing you are, do you?” She asks with a huffed laugh.

“It’s just common sense.”

“Which isn’t common these days.” She rolls her eyes.

I gesture toward the couch. “I have everything set up and ready to view. I’ll cast it onto the television so you can see everything.” Locking the door behind her, I follow her to the couch. I press the play button and watch her face as the blank building with the stores' spec is slowly transformed with a click.

“This is what the store will look like once we add the crown molding.” I click the button. “And then the drop ceiling and the revitalized wood stained with a cheery hue.”

“It already looks so different.” The awe in her voice is why I love this part of the job. Taking the customers' suggestions and bringing them to life on a small scale is a modern-day blessing that allows me to give them exactly what they want.

“I did white walls to keep this a blank canvas. The colors you choose will add to the feelings the space emotes.”

“I went with two options for the drop ceiling. A circle.” I click the button and wait. “Or a square.”

“Oh.” She taps her lips with her fingers. “I’m still not sure.”

“We have time. Sometimes sleeping on it is best.” I swallow. “I know you wanted to create a special reading area like Pages has, but on a grander scale, so I worked up something.” She gasps when the large tree appears on the screen, surrounded by toadstool seating. “I know you wanted to take advantage of the space the renovations gave, so I added another space beside the nook for teens.” They’ll be separated by bookshelves, so we don’t close the store with walls.” The dark green wallpaper with a golden blanch. “I know Dark academia is huge among teens right now, and it should work for the adults who like YA. That’s why I went with wingback chairs against the wall.

“That’s brilliant!”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to sell treats and drinks, but if you did, we could put a table between them wide enough to give each person sitting their own space.”

“This is incredible.” She covers her mouth. “How did you do this?”

“I know what you like, little Blume. You haven’t changed all that much. I kept tabs on you.”

“You did?”

“I was a damn Facebook stalker. I constantly asked your mom and Fey for updates when I saw them. If they thought it was odd, they never mentioned it.”

“They never said a word to me.”

“Good. Because I knew I didn’t have the right to be a part of your life after I’d hurt you, but I couldn’t stay away completely. If I had seen any signs of him treating you poorly, I wouldn’t have held my tongue or stayed here. I thought you were happy. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. It’s my fault for being stubborn for so long. There were so many times over the years I wanted to call you.”

“Why didn’t you?” she asks.

“It seemed pointless. I wasn’t sure you’d give me the time of day, and the damage was already great.” I exhale. “And Laurel had it out for you. I think she felt threatened by you.”

“Why?”

“Because she knew you were my first love even if we were never together.”

She gasps. “New.”

“You should know. When I broke your heart, I ripped my own out. Laurel was a distraction that turned into more overtime. But it was never the way it was with you. I accepted it wouldn’t be. I could never recreate our bond with another person.” It’s cleaning a wound, purging the truth to the one person who’ll understand,

“I loved James. I did. But what we had was different. And it was good until things began to change and we started to want different things. I’m still unsure if I was blind to it or didn’t want to see it. Maybe we just held on when we should’ve let go?” She muses sadly.

“I never expected him to be you, New. There’s only one Cowboy.” The sorrow in her eyes guts me

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