Page 44 of Bad Love

I can’t say which part of that rubs mewrong.

“I always have a chance.” I finish dealing and drop the deck on the table with a flourish. "But it wouldn’t happen. She has akid."

They stare at me blankly, then erupt at once. "She'smarried?"

"No." I frown though, because we didn’t talk aboutit.

"But you fucked her," Nelliedeclares.

I shoot him a sharp look, but my gaze drifts past him to Janie in the poster. “I told you. She’s amom.”

I don't want to say we were halfway there. I tend toward discretion with the women I’m seeing, and the only reason I blurted this out was because more than twenty-four hours later, it’s still bugging the shit out ofme.

"Moms are awesome," Nellie says a minute later, grabbing a bag of corn chips and ripping intoit.

Tanner nods, snatching the bag from Nellie before he can get his hand in. "Some of my favorite people are moms." He tosses back a handful of chips, then counts on his fingers. "My mom. My grandma. Nellie's mom.” Nellie swats at him, and Tanner ducks, grinning. “What's your problem withmoms?"

I hold up my hands. "Nothing! Moms are incredible." I think of my grandma as I try to put it into words. “But someone like that, who’s serious about her life and has responsibilities… she wants certainty.Reliability.”

The shock of seeing her kid felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice over my head. Then hit a panic button deep in mychest.

"She pushed a kid out of her vagina. What else do you think she can do with it?" Nellie raises hisbrows.

As we finish the night, I turn that over in myhead.

On the elevator on the way out, Monty curses, looking at his phone. “Why is it that things get worse when they’re bad to beginwith?”

“Things can always get worse,” I say, clapping him on the back. “But it’s good to staypositive.”

He raises a somber gaze to mine. “How do you want to be positive about the fact that Deaconquit?”

Cold settles over me despite the buzz. “Impossible.”

“Just gave notice. Before the boardmeeting.”

“I’ll talk him down. Offer him moremoney.”

“It’s too late. This is official. He submitted hisresignation.”

I’m usually laidback in the face of challenges, but Monty’s right—this has mereeling.

The elevator doors open, and I rub my temples as I walk out first. “It’s fine. We’ll hire for it. Know anyone who’d be a goodfit?"

"There's no job to be a fitfor.” His voice sounds long-suffering as he follows me through the ornate lobby. “You're in the job. That's what the website says. I don't know how to advertise for a job with nocredit."

"How about 'in it for the money’? Or 'humble beyond belief’?" He narrows his eyes at my quips. "Come on, Monty, take ajoke."

“This isn’t a joke to me. And it shouldn’t be toyou.”

I don’t like seeing my friend weighed down as though he’s thirty going on sixty-five. “I’ll take care of it. I’ll get Deacon to write a job ad. We’ll post it discreetly.” I don’t want my grandmother getting word. But I have enough connections from my work that I should be able to find someone. “All right?Good.”

He doesn’tanswer.

We’re walking distance from my place and Monty’s, and we exit the front doors held open by the black-clad attendant and set off down the sidewalktogether.

Two women pass us on the street, one of them with a noticeably roundbelly.

I pause to look over my shoulder before continuing down thestreet.

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