Page 106 of Bad Love

We exchange some pleasantries, and Logan’s mom is sweet. She’s clearly smart, which I can tell from the questions she asks when she finds out I’m in marketing too. But not in a judgmental way, as if she’s trying to trip me up. She seems curious and genuinely enjoying everything about this place, its people, and theconversation.

"So, what kind of project are you helping Logan with?" she asks,smiling.

I shoot him a warning look, but he's not going to say anything stupid. He wouldn't in front of hisparents.

Hecouldn’t.

"Sextoys."

Hedid.

I choke on the champagne I'mdrinking.

But his mom says, "Really? Haven't heard that onebefore."

"You find love in the strangestplaces."

"Youcertainly do." His mom walks away with asmile.

I stare after her before excusing myself to go to the bathroom, where I stare at myself in the gilded mirror. I'm wearing a borrowed dress, borrowed shoes, borrowed earrings. But between the hint of if-there-was-ever-a-day-to-contour-it’s-today bronzer and my blush from the conversation that just happened, I lookalive.

The most important part of my life isn't even here. Rory's at his grandparents’, hours away. I should feelguilty.

But my heart is split because there's a man outside I'm crazyabout.

One I just had sex with in ashower.

One who told his mom point-blank that he met me selling sex toys and expected her to like meanyway.

One who might have said he loved me as if it’s the most obvious thing in theworld.

It must've been a turn of phrase. A throwaway saying. He can't have meantit.

But no matter what Logan feels,Ihaven't felt this way in a long time. Maybeever.

I don't know if there's a way to make it work with Logan long term. I don’t know if he wants to settle down with someone. I don’t even know if I wantto.

Everything in my head says I should besensible.

But everything in my heart wants totry.

22

I've attendedthis party every year for as long as I can remember. Before my parents hosted it, my grandmother did. I was always on good behavior, and not in that way some kids are, like they’re forcedto.

I was on good behavior because I wanted to be. Here, surrounded by family and friends, was the only time I felt completely atease.

My parents always said they were proud of me, but for this one day a year, I believed it. I could charm any donor or politician, any husband or wife, any neighbor or friend. Talk to them, relate to them, just be withthem.

After graduating college, no matter where I traveled or for what, I always returned forthis.

Tonight, I'm not at ease. For the first time, I feel as if something'smissing.

I scan the room and find Kendall when she returns from the bathroom. Her gaze lands on me, and a sharp tug grabs the center of mychest.

Kendall's fucking gorgeous, and it's not the heels, though I love that she wore them. It’s not the hair, though the waves over her shoulders are hypnotizing. It’s not the dress, though I can’t wait to peel it offher.

It’s that she’s fresh and honest and real. That she meets everyone with a smile as if she’s genuinely curious about them and delighted bythem.

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