Page 66 of Naive in Love

“It was my fault. I grabbed his arm and wouldn’t let him go,” I try and explain away Caleb’s actions.

“Don’t.” He shakes his head. “No reason is good enough.”

I sit back down on the bed where I was before. He drops his head again and grabs the back of his neck with both hands. I watch the muscles in his forearms tighten and flex.

Neither of us speaks for several minutes until I break the silence. “Why are you here, Ethan? The last time we were together you said I didn’t need to choose and walked away.” Why am I terrified of his answer?

“Because I care. Plain and simple.” I watch as he releases his neck and turns around to face me. “How can you let Caleb off the hook so easily? How can you defend him?”

“I’m not! But I’m not exactly innocent either. I’ve made mistakes, and just because he doesn’t know about them doesn’t make them nonexistent.” I drop my head to my knees, hiding my face in embarrassment. I was kissing him a couple of weeks ago. And a part of me wants to kiss him again.

“What we did and what he did to you cannot be compared. How can he say he cares for you, then physically hurt you, andthenallow you to put yourself in a predicament that could have gotten you seriously hurt, either physically or legally. He’s a selfish prick!”

“I’m the one that drove drunk, angry, and crying. I should’ve known better, but I wasn’t thinking. He didn’t make me.” I continue defending Caleb, but wonder,Why am I fighting so hard to let him off the hook? “How do you know about what happened outside the club?”

“The guys followed y’all outside to make sure you were okay. They saw how he was speaking to you in the bar. He made Mike real uncomfortable. You jumped in your car and took off before they got to you. They ran into Caleb and exchanged words. They called me soon afterward.”

“Ethan, I’ve never been more confused in my life. I don’t know what to tell you. I wish I did. I told you I had feelings for both of you, and I needed time, but you walked away last time we were together. I still don’t know why you’re here. You say because you care, but if you did or do, why did you walk away? It doesn’t make sense. I feel like a fool being sucked into what you say.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just creating more of a mess again. Please take care of yourself. I keep making your life more difficult. I’ll see you around.” He stands up and walks to where I am sitting. He places a hand on my cheek and rubs it with the pad of his thumb before he bends over and places a small kiss on the corner of my mouth. “I’m sorry.”

He pulls away and walks out of my room. I hear the front door open and close, then complete and utter silence.

I’m stunned. He walked away again, with no explanation of why. He says he cares, and his actions mirror his words, until he walks away. I didn’t know it could hurt just as bad the second time around, but this time the tears do not come. I am empty.

* * *

The week passes quicklywithout further incident. I continue to avoid social areas on campus, not trusting how I will react if I see Ethan. My life feels off not talking and texting with him.

Thursday night rolls around, and we end up at The Shack. Caleb and Wes chose to come here, and I didn’t want to start a fight trying to convince them we should hang out someplace else. It is overly packed with students back from break. We luck out, walking by a table of people getting ready to leave. My body is rigid as I look around to make sure Ethan and the band are not around.

“I checked the schedule. They aren’t playing. You can relax now.” Lena places her hand over mine to get my attention. I look at her as a frown mars her beautiful face. I feel guilty for having her worry along with me.

Caleb has been attentive and sweet, making sure Lena and I have drinks and seats as we move around the bar playing pool and darts. We have fallen back into a comfortable flow. His attention and physicality feel gentle and warm.

It is after midnight, and several rounds later, when we decide to play our last game of pool.

“Your shot, Sof!” Lena announces, annoyed she missed hers.

I hop off my stool and out of Caleb’s hold to take my shot. I miss, and Lena declares she needs a restroom break. She grabs my hand, pulling me away. Her urgency startles me.

“Ethan just walked in!” Lena exclaims as soon as we walk into the bathroom. My chest constricts just hearing his name. My breathing picks up, and I’m unsure how to proceed.

“I knew we shouldn’t have come here.” Panic sets in. “Did he see us?”

“I don’t think so. I saw him walk in the door and pulled you away. What do you want to do?”

“We need to leave. Ethan and Caleb in the same bar will not work. At all. You know something will happen.”

“What do you want to do?”

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" I drop my head in frustration. "I'm just gonna tell him we should leave because Ethan got here. There’s no way to avoid it." With my mind made up, we walk out of the bathroom. Ethan and Caleb are already in a heated exchange, so I grab Lena's hand and pull her toward them.

As we approach, I hear Ethan’s voice boom, “I will fucking break your hands off before you ever lay a hand on her again!” They are standing a few steps away from each other—murderous looks on both of their faces, bodies tense, ready for any unexpected movements.

“What Sophia and I do is none of your fucking business. She is with me, so back the fuck off!” Caleb says through clenched teeth.

“You’re a real badass, right? You can push a girl around. Try pushing someone bigger around, asshole,” Ethan retorts.

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