Page 113 of Finding Their Place

“You’ll always be my little sister, and now that we’ve found one another, you’ll never go without my having your back.”

Her smile softened as her head tilted to the side. Warmth radiated from her entire face. “And you’ll never be alone again.”

Like I’d been all night long, laying in my bed, the silence stifling as I imagined Garrett and Haley together, loving each other.

Without needing me.

I swallowed hard.

“I can see pain in your aura, Rowan. What’s going on?”

My mouth opened, and words leaked from my tight throat like a broken spigot, spilling the story of my love life—or rather, the lack thereof.

“That’s what prompted me to call you last night,” I said, my voice hoarse. “I was so damn lonely, my insides shredded. I’m sorry it took me so long to agree to meet with you, but with everything that’s happened…”

I shrugged, unable to say more.

River squeezed my fingers she still clasped even though the waitress had dropped off her coffee a few minutes earlier. “Have you heard from either of them?”

“No. And it fucking hurts so bad, but I need to focus on one thing at a time. I’m not turning on my cell and checking again until we get this confrontation with Dahlia behind us.”

Our waitress arrived, food in hand, so River released her hold on me, and we both sat back.

“If you need anything else, just let me know,” our server said while setting our plates in front of us.

I cut into my waffle with my fork, unable to help wondering if Garrett and Haley ate breakfast or if they still lay in bed.

If I’d been in their shoes, it would have been the latter. Snuggled in warmth, soft caresses, and hungry kisses.

“Hey.”

I lifted my unseeing focus off my plate, realizing I chewed a bite I didn’t remember putting between my lips.

“One thing at a time, okay?” River reminded me with a kind smile. “And if it’s meant to be with your two lovers, it will be.” Her simple statement didn’t sound cliche. The words spoke to my heart, made me remember my powerlessness to do anything about the situation of my love life.

She hadn’t traveled north to act as my therapist, so I detoured our conversation toward the reason behind our finally meeting face to face.

Our mom.

And River went along with my steering away from heartache—even though I thoroughly expected another kind in a few hours that would be no less hurtful.

Having looked up our birth mother’s address, I knew River and I had a three-hour drive ahead of us, so we didn’t linger over our breakfast. Our easy banter, the catching up of thirty-plus years poured from our lips from breakfast and all the way up Route 5.

The closer we got to Fresno, the less words passed between us.

I got lost in thoughts of what Dahlia would look like. Any and every possible reception. The abandoned child inside me hoped for a tearful reunion and learning we’d been taken from her loving arms rather than abandoned to the system.

But she hadn’t looked for us, hadn’t gotten in contact with us.

Maybe she couldn’t find us.

Fuck, how I hoped for that outcome since the opposite hurt too much to dwell on: a denial of identity, a complete lack of opening or willingness to talk to us.

I wasn’t sure I could handle that atop missing my two lovers.

River reached for my hand, and I clasped hers tight while taking the exit Siri dictated. Her gentle touch soothed me, but in that moment, I yearned for Haley’s comforting presence.

I remembered her soft hands clutching mine, the way she played with my hair and held my head to her chest. The memory of her peaceful heartbeat in my ear, the satiny skin cradling my cheek.

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