Page 83 of Finding Their Place

“Garrett.”

I nodded even though she couldn’t see, a whine building in my throat. Curling up on the couch, I clenched my eyelids tight, tears coursing down my cheeks. Even though I’d dreamed of him being straight, wished he’d wanted me for all those months, I couldn’t stop the sense of absolute betrayal that made my stomach twist into a tangled knot of pain that wouldn’t unravel.

“Tell me what happened,” Lily stated quietly, empathy in her voice.

It took me a long fucking time, choking on words and sobs, but I explained to her what had gone down since the afternoon before.

The phone call.

The sure sex on a stick headed to my place.

His suggestion to ask Garrett to watch.

His instigating the two of us putting our hands on each other.

The mind-blowing sex.

Soft, delicious as fuck kisses in the early morning light when I’d thought for sure it had been our connection, our closeness, that had made Garrett want more with me.

Wyatt’s abandoning us that left me unsettled and on edge.

Then the earth-shattering truth that sliced my heart the rest of the way in two.

I’m not gay.

Lily didn’t have much to say when I finished with those words that had ripped apart my heart, just a few muttered curses.

“I’m dying inside, Lily,” I whispered, wetness still on my cheeks even though sharing the shit allowed me to breathe without choking.

“I know why you hate liars,” Lily said and let out a heavy exhale, “but not everyone tells them with bad intentions.”

“There’s never an excuse to lie,” I bit out as the anger rekindled. Once more, I reached for it, strained out desperate imaginary fingers to clamp hold like a lifeline to sanity.

“Sometimes they’re necessary, but in this case,” Lily said, “I think he should have told you the truth from the very beginning. Yeah, I get he had minimal choices and needed a place to live, but once the two of you got to know one another, he should have opened up.”

I scrubbed a hand over my face, swiping away my tears. “I still would have been pissed.”

“But you wouldn’t feel this betrayed.”

Our lives had become so intertwined emotionally, and too much time had passed to lessen the fallout.

“Do you think you could ever forgive him?”

“Ask my mom and dad how I feel about forgiveness,” I snipped in response to Lily’s question while glowering at the wall.

“Garrett’s sins against you are far from similar to your mother’s, Haley.” Lily’s chiding tone irked me, but she continued on before I could curse her out. “He’s madly in love with you—anyone with eyes can see that.”

“I thought it was platonic. I thought we were on the same page.”

Lily snorted a laugh. “Oh, please. You were! You wanted his dick the first time you saw him. Those chocolate brown eyes and black lashes. The lickable V and abs you drooled over that first night as roommates. You lied to him too, Haley Foster.”

“I hate you,” I muttered over her truth bomb even if the silence of my desires toward him didn’t feel the same as his manipulation.

“You love me, bitch. Now, dry your damn tears, call that sexy brat up, and tell him to get his ass home so you can begin the rest of your life together.”

My stomach tightened. Couldn’t do it. No. Fucking. Way.

“Don’t forget about what Wyatt did.” I reminded her rather than reiterating my inability to forgive the shit Garrett had pulled. “He abandoned me. Us. Just like my dad had done.”

---