Page 4 of Finding Their Place

“Shit. Sorry.” I sat back quickly, cursing the hardening point beneath my T-shirt.

“No worries.” Garrett didn’t open his eyes, but his damn lips curled with that sexy, slow smirk around his lollipop stick again.

I was going to need a change of panties.

“So, was that Lily on the phone?” he asked, rolling to his side and facing the TV, his warm face against my bare skin just south of my shirt’s hem.

“Yeah.” My voice sounded rough, and my hand found his damp hair again.

“When are those gorgeous men of hers bringing her back home?” The candy clacked against his teeth as he shifted it around in his mouth.

“Not soon enough,” I muttered.

We sat in comfortable silence for a time, my fingers eventually falling away from his head. His hot exhales coasted over my knee, and I leaned my head back, closing my eyes.

Discontentment weaved its way through my mind like always, making me wish for things I couldn’t have. Unease followed on its heels as usual. I had no sane reason to feel as miserable as I did. Sure, my boss was a bitch, but at least I had a decent paying job. I had a roof over my head. A roommate I got along with, who cleaned up after himself better than I did. I had healthy organs, clear skin, a good figure…a lot of women would kill for my life.

So why couldn’t I just count my blessings and be happy? Why did I wake up every morning feeling as though something was missing?

Greediness for more had always been an issue for me, and I blamed Mom and Dad because I’d never gotten enough of anything good from them while growing up.

I’d longed for physical touch and kind words, a firm, guiding hand to help me traverse through life. All Mom had given me were lies and bullshit. Dad hadn’t been anything but a shadow, and even that had disappeared when he abandoned me.

Lily had been my comfort during her stay with me, but Garrett had slid into the place she’d vacated without difficulty.

It had been easy to open up with him because with him loving dick, I didn’t have to worry about ulterior motives of getting me out of my clothes.

I just wanted to find the person who would make me feel complete, damnit. Or persons. I needed to figure out where I fit with the other puzzle pieces around me. Surely, that would bring happiness and keep a downward spiral away, right?

It had for Lily.

But attempting to connect with a man or two would mean taking down my walls, leaving myself vulnerable to lies and manipulation that came with conditional love, the only kind I’d known.

Depression snuck its way back into my head with that truth, and I swallowed hard, sure I would never find peace of mind—same as my mom.

2

Garrett

Nothing smelled better than Haley fresh out of the shower, her warm, silken skin slathered in lavender lotion. Eyes closed, I soaked in the warmth of her bare thigh beneath my cheek and breathed her in, thankful I’d jerked off earlier. Even emptied, my balls still stirred life to my dick when she had accidentally pressed her breast against my face.

It wasn’t the first time it had happened, seeing as how I often used her legs for pillows, and I sure as hell hoped it wouldn’t be the last.

At least I could roll to my side, effectively hiding my boner while thinking about suckling and nibbling on her nipples. My mouth watered, and I sucked my Blow Pop instead, swallowing the taste of cherries instead of the woman I wanted.

Her fingernails scratched at my scalp, and I closed my eyes against the news station, forcing myself to pretend I really was gay, that I had no feelings for my roommate whatsoever, and that I wasn’t the type of liar she would despise if she ever learned the truth.

While I wasn’t usually one to bullshit my way through life, I’d been desperate for a place to stay within a week of Alec kicking me out of what I’d thought had been our dream home.

He’d gifted dozens of things to me over our year together, but I hadn’t deserved to take anything more than the single suitcase I’d carried out to California from the sticks of northern Pennsylvania.

Alec had trusted me to look out for his sister, and I’d failed.

Big time.

My stomach hardened like it always did whenever I thought about that night, and I hated that I couldn’t go back and fix the trauma I’d caused. I was lucky to have escaped him and his family without anything more than a broken heart and buckled pride.

When I’d left my conservative grandparents back east, it had been Hollywood or bust, and I carried no backup plan in my pocket like I did Blow Pops. All my hopes, my dreams, had me on the big screen, falling in love with my costar and having a happily ever after with either Cinderella or Prince Charming.

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