Page 85 of Seeking Two Lovers

“Fuck.” I scrubbed a hand down over my face, so done with the emotional upheavals in my life.

But one had been good.

Lily.

I put through a call, and the second her sweet voice filled my ear, I choked up.

“Grey? Shit. Are you okay?” Real concern laced her tone. “Talk to me. Please.”

Swallowing hard, I tried to laugh. “Do you have an hour?”

“I’ve got two if that’s what you need,” she promised, and a tear slid down my cheek.

I longed to hold her in my arms—fuck that. I wanted to be in her arms, soaking in her sweetness to fill back up the emptiness inside me.

“She was in a car accident when I was ten.”

The rest poured from me, Lily’s encouraging words when I choked on tears, her own wobbly voice in empathy of my grief bringing a little comfort I clung to for all I was worth.

And that was a fuck ton.

It didn’t take more than fifteen minutes before I quieted, feeling more spent than I’d been inside her tight body the weekend before. A shuddered exhale left me sagging in my office chair.

“I can’t wait to see you tonight,” I told her, my eyes closed and head tipped back.

“Can I give you tons of hugs and kisses? Not that it will make everything better—”

“It will, and yes. I’ll take whatever you’ll offer me, Lily.”

“Blaine’s aware of what happened? How you struggle sometimes?”

“Yes. There’s nothing Blaine doesn’t know.”

“Hmm.” She made a noise like she didn’t believe me. “He loves you, Grey. He’s also strong enough to help carry your burdens too. Maybe you should lean on him from time to time. It might open his eyes to the strength he has inside him.”

Her words woke me the fuck up, and I stared at my ceiling.

“You don’t always have to be the one giving,” she continued, her tone quiet. Reflective. “Sometimes we have to be just a little selfish to find what we’ve been searching for.”

Long after we hung up, Lily’s words rang in my ears. Everything about her made breathing easier and life just a little bit brighter.

I wondered if Mom would have loved her. I also wondered what Mom would have told me in that moment if I’d been able to call her and ask for advice about loving my best friend and falling for a woman too in such a short time.

Those thoughts brought on more stinging eyes and a tight throat.

Lips in a thin line, I shoved emotions to the back burner and focused on getting my work done for the week so I could get home and ready for my two lovers to join me in my bed.

Higgins called me an hour later. He’d slipped the note into Sarah’s sweater pocket while accidentally bumping into her.

All I could do was cross my fingers she found it sooner than later and called her brother.

26

LILY

Both men appeared subdued when I showed up at their front door. They met me in the foyer, grins on both their faces, but something felt…off even after I hugged them hello, lingering more with Grey than Blaine.

And I’d thought Grey and I had made major headway in our…relationship outside sex, but he seemed preoccupied.

---