Page 75 of Seeking Two Lovers

But if it had taken him over a decade to release that shit to me, he’d never share it with anyone. Not even a professional bound by patient privacy laws.

“You aren’t disgusted by me?” Blaine whispered, glancing down at his palms.

“Never,” I rushed to reply. “There’s nothing you could say or ever do to change my love for you.”

He nodded an acceptance of my declaration and filled his lungs, a shudder ripping through him as though he’d placed a lid back on what he’d let out. “Grey…I-I didn’t tell you all this out of…well, manipulation to keep you all to myself.”

I frowned at his bowed head. “What?”

“I see how good you and Lily are together. How you fit perfectly in each other’s lives. I won’t stand in the way if she is the one you’re able to let in to fill that hole your mom’s passing left inside you.”

Fucking Blaine.

Goddamn, did I love him. I grabbed onto him and hugged him tight, my throat attempting to close off. “I won’t ever leave you, B,” I rasped. “Ever.”

Fuck, how I wanted to pour out the rest of my thoughts and feelings, assure him he was it for me—that Lily could be the bridge between us—but enough turmoil had stirred inside his poor mind as it was.

I gave him my affection, stayed steady as that rock he needed me to be. Not that soaking in his tight grip on my back was any hardship.

My stomach growled, and I grimaced at the hunger pains knifing at me, more than ready to set aside the heaviness of serious discussions for awhile. The topics of my unrequited love and his sister could wait another day or so. “Not that you’re up for food after that, but I’m fucking starved again.”

He pulled back reluctantly and gave me a shy glance. “I could eat.”

I needed something sweet to take my mind of the goddamn shit lingering over me and the longing sharp as a blade still bright inside my heart.

“Donuts.”

Blaine chuckled. “How the hell you don’t have cavities every time you go in for a cleaning is a complete mystery to me.”

“Come on.” I hopped up and yanked him to his feet. “Shower. Clothes. Frosted donuts for lunch. Then we’re going to snuggle on the couch and watch some feel-good movies. Pizza and beer—chardonnay for you—then I’ll even let you be the little spoon in my bed if you need me to.”

Pink fused Blaine’s cheeks at the suggestion we share my bed.

But he didn’t say no.

* * *

Spewing the shit of his past had worn Blaine’s ass out. He dragged all day, napping on the couch with his head on my thigh for a couple hours while I ran my fingers through his hair. We’d gorged on donuts, pizza, chips, and then more donuts throughout the day.

Were it not for the other talk we needed to have and Lily’s presence in the back of my mind, I’d have been perfectly content.

The cushion on the opposite side of where Blaine lounged against me appeared too damn empty. I wished our girl was there, all those soft curves and the sweet scent of vanilla filling my nose with every inhale, her soft hand in mine soothing the part of me that Blaine couldn’t. Wanting didn’t begin to describe the stirrings inside me for him tucked in against my left and Lily snuggling on my right.

I clung to the image in my mind, closing my eyes to the fantasy she’d brought on by crashing into my life.

She lusted for us both with hunger I’d seen on countless women’s faces, and I couldn’t wait to give it to her.

Share Blaine with her.

I wouldn’t envy his dick sliding into her when I’d prefer it be my body he breached. I wanted her to enjoy his attention in the same way I lusted to watch his face as he found release inside her body.

It would be the closest I would ever come to having my desires fulfilled. No jealousy rose to choke me on either end. Lily would give me a way to live vicariously.

It would have to be enough.

But for how long?

At twenty-four, she had a lot of life to live. Not that Blaine and I didn’t, but we’d seen our fair share of wading in the waters around us. I’d partaken ten times as much as Blaine, but with him being an old soul, I expected he’d want to settle down sooner than I ever considered.

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