“About?” I pushed when he didn’t explain on his own.
“I-I wasn’t hiding upstairs last night during your party.”
I blinked, processing what he’d said. “Where the fuck were you?” The higher tone of my voice stated surprised-as-fuck, loud and clear.
“With a girl.”
An instinctive grin split my face before his words fully processed in my brain. “Get the fuck out!”
He glanced around the bar with typical Blaine embarrassment tinging his cheeks pink. “I really like her. Like, really like her.”
My smile faded, alarm bells clanging in my head and heart.
Danger ahead. Tragic…life-altering…
I swallowed hard. “Tell me about her.” My demand escaped a bit ragged when I should have been thrilled to hear he’d finally stepped outside his comfort zone.
Religious background, just like him.
Left her previous life behind, just like him.
Finding out who she is, just like him.
He didn’t need to use the word “connection” to explain what he’d found with her—I could see it clear as anything on his face and in his eyes.
Blaine was enamored with the girl, and with every word passing his lips, my heart ached a little bit more.
Had he found his other half? A woman who would see him, be able to empathize with every nightmarish memory he couldn’t banish from his head? Someone who would hold and soothe him with understanding in their heart rather than selfish desires for physical touch like I tended toward whenever he needed me?
“Did you fuck her?” I spewed the question, cutting him off mid-sentence about how her yellow sundress had been like sunshine.
He swallowed audibly, glancing once more at his drink. “No.”
I shouldn’t have been pleased by his answer but the heaviness inside me lightened at his confession. “Why not?”
Blaine wouldn’t ever give me the words I longed to hear more than anything, but I held my breath. Wishing. Hoping. Fuck, wanting to pray.
“We kissed.” He shrugged, still not meeting my eyes.
“That’s it?” I asked my throat tightening over the thought of him leaving me behind. Abandoning me.
My guts clenched.
Fucking hell.
Blaine rubbed his palms down his thighs like he always did when nervous. “Yeah. I couldn’t…not ready for that on my own just yet.”
Not exactly the answer I hoped for, but that meant he was still partly mine.
But for how long? When would he finally realize he didn’t really need me to find release with a woman?
“She’s got this infectious laugh,” Blaine went on while I fought to find words or still my rioting insides. “Sparkling—happy—brown eyes. She’s brought a garden to life inside me, bursting with color.”
I blinked and stilled except for the rushing beat of my heart. He’d become a goddamn romantic.
My eyes stung, and I forced my lungs to fill as Blaine went on about his coffee girl as he referred to her. He sat up a bit straighter, his smile returning full force, a sight I hadn’t seen in a long-as-fuck time. I stared as he all but told me he’d fallen in love with a girl after knowing her less than a week.
A shattered heart lay inside my chest, bleeding and weeping by the time he ran out of steam.