Page 5 of Seeking Two Lovers

Swallowing hard, I fought against the heat flaring inside me, the sweat rising to the surface of my skin that roused nausea in my stomach.

“So petite, blonde, and brown-eyed,” Grey stated in his business tone that promised me he wouldn’t forget. Ever. “Got it.”

The bathroom door opened, and Grey hopped up to be the gentleman so I wouldn’t have to.

I released a heavy exhale and closed my eyes again, trying to not give headspace to my past and how it had created the antisocial, insecure-as-fuck guy I had to look at in the mirror every day.

The hours of penance, the beatings. Sitting in a pitch-black cell of forced solitude and silence in order to better meditate on one’s sins.

“Fucking hell.” I scrubbed a hand down over my face, my teeth clenching up tight. But I refused to let in the light of our living room’s overhead dimmers. I chose the darkness behind my eyelids because I could—it was my choice. I held the power over what I did or didn’t do.

The couch dipped.

“You can open your eyes now, dipshit. She’s gone.”

“Fuck you.” I kicked out with a leg, connecting with Grey’s thigh. I still enjoyed my freedom to bask in the dark rather than look at him.

“I suppose I could offer up my ass if you really want it.”

“Goddamnit, Grey.” I shot him a glare, hating that he knew how to rile me up and control me at the same time.

“There’s those hazel eyes I adore.” He flashed a grin, and I kicked him again. With lightning-fast reflexes, he grabbed hold of my ankle and grasped tight. “Talk to me.”

Strong fingers dug into my foot, rubbing until I sank back in total relaxation with a groan.

The fucker had hands to write poetry about.

“Have I ever told you how good of a buffer you are?” I asked.

“Yeah, but you can say it again. I’ll take an ego stroke any day of the week.”

“You get enough strokes of your own in as it is. Fucking keep it down from now on, would ya?”

“Sorry I get vocal when I jerk off.” His voice held no contrite tone to speak of.

“No you’re not.”

“I’m just hoping you’ll start to enjoy it someday.” He waggled his eyebrows, and I shook my head, unable to help my grin.

“I don’t do dick.”

As if he needed to be reminded. The last guy he’d brought home had all but begged for a threesome, and I’d nearly lost my dinner on the kitchen floor.

“I’ve got a nice one.” He grabbed his junk and flopped it back and forth beneath his mesh shorts.

“Mine’s bigger.”

“Yeah, I know.” His tone lowered a bit, and he tossed my foot off his lap.

“So you do check out the goods when there’s a woman between us.” My turn to joke, thankful for something to help push the darkness away.

“‘Course I do,” he muttered, climbing off the couch and heading into the kitchen. “What horny, bisexual man wouldn’t enjoy looking at a thick dick and heavy balls? Water?”

“Sure.”

Grey brought guys back to our place just as much as he did women, but I didn’t share in the fun on those nights.

And I also wasn’t about to cross any further into teasing territory that might make things weird between us, even if I did think he was sexy for a guy. No fucking way would I mess up what I’d found with him. He was my best friend. My anchor. A soul mate if allowed that term for a platonic relationship.

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