Page 13 of Bind Me, Sir

I stared up at her, wishing, not for the first time, that I had the words she needed to hear in order to heal. She looked so much like me with her dark hair and light brown eyes, but she’d been graced with the natural beauty and gorgeous, not-too-much curves of our Latin grandmother.

Men salivated after her, older men who used and discarded her upon finding her needy as hell and clinging, probably hoping to find the father figure she’d lost at thirteen. At least I’d talked her into a shot to prevent pregnancy, but God knew if she used condoms to keep herself safe from the unseen diseases that could cause a lifetime of heartache.

“Please be careful,” I whispered, same as I always did when at my wits end.

“I’m eighteen now. It’s my life to choose, mine to live.”

I didn’t respond as she tossed her bowl—and the cereal—into the sink, knowing full well the garbage disposal had stopped working a few weeks earlier.

“Don’t worry,” she said, her voice filled with sarcasm as she turned toward the living room, “I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

Chewing the inside of my lip, I wondered over her definition of the word.

I dealt with Luna’s spit and vinegar all weekend long while she refused countless times to look for a job, and by Monday morning, I breathed a sigh of relief for the excuse of heading to work. The thought Jordan might linger on at the Laurent estate heightened my pulse, but I didn’t see him in the dining room as I passed—once more late for work.

“Sorry,” I murmured upon finding Lily at her desk.

“Luna?”

I nodded, my eyes burning as I set my purse aside.

“Did you get things sorted with her friend’s parents?”

I had called Lily Saturday night after getting Luna in bed because I didn’t have any other friends to talk to. While she was my employer, Lily definitely blurred the lines of professionalism and caring for me as she would a true friend.

I had spilled the mess Friday night, same as I always did when she asked, hoping to ease the burden on my shoulders she wished to help carry. Upon hanging up, her words of edification and encouragement ringing in my ears, I hadn’t felt the slightest bit better, though.

I slumped into the chair across from her desk, exhaustion hanging heavy on my shoulders, same as it always did after a long weekend. “They decided to not press charges, and even refused my offer to reimburse them for the remainder of the liquor she drank.”

“That friend of hers is no good.”

“None of her friends are,” I muttered, tipping my head back against my chair and resting my eyelids. “It’s been one poor choice after another—and I’m dead tired of her shit.”

I never swore in front of Lily, never gave over to the negativity that ate away at my insides. Mom had always kept a positive outlook, even when Dad drank himself to oblivion every other night, spending what little we had for groceries on booze. Determined to be a good woman like her, I emulated the life she had lived, focusing on loving kindness.

“She needs help, more than you’re able to provide,” Lily said, her voice so full of compassion rather than rebuke that my eyes stung.

“I can’t afford an intervention,” I whispered, staring at the ceiling.

“I’ll pay for it.”

I lifted my head off the back of the chair. “I can’t let you do that.”

“Why not? Adam has more money than God,” she repeated what I already knew, but I shook my head.

“I’m the one responsible for Luna, not you and Adam.”

“Consider it a gift, then.”

“I appreciate your offer, but no.”

Lips pursed and eyes narrowed, she stared me down until I glanced away. “Don’t allow your stubbornness to get in the way of helping the only family you have left, Natalie.”

My throat thickened at the harsh reality of her words. “Mom entrusted her to my care,” I whispered, my heart breaking all over again. “She expected me to lead her down the proper path in life, begged me to do so. She knew Luna was too much like Dad, and she knew I was enough like her that I could help see my sister through to adulthood.”

“Perhaps it’s time to accept help, Natalie. Let me do that for you—for her.”

Mom had trusted me, and I’d been holding on so tightly for so long, my grasp slipped. I swallowed against the tears hazing my vision and nodded, so ready to hand over the reins, to have control taken from my shoulders.

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