Page 96 of Heart Set on You

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Miles

Twenty-four hours have passed since I’ve heard from Rylee. That may not seem like a long time, but it felt like an eternity. I’ve never been the type to text someone countless times a day – or even once a week – but here I am, losing my damn mind waiting to hear from her. I feel crazy, wondering where she was and why she hasn’t returned my text. Is she having second thoughts about us? My mind feels like a blender, my thoughts spinning out of control.

I’m walking out of my personal trainer’s when she finally calls. I pick it up on the first ring. “Ryls. Hey. I—”

Her soft voice interrupts me. “Hi. Sorry, I’m walking down by the lake so reception might be in and out.”

“Are you okay, babe? I didn’t hear from you and I got worried.” The words fly from my mouth with zero chill.

“I’m okay.” But there’s a tone of sadness in her voice. Fuck.

She doesn’t sound okay, and it immediately makes me nervous. I would give anything to know what is going on inside of Rylee’s head.

“Miles,” she says, and the way she says it makes my heart sink. Something feels off. I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. This doesn’t feel like Rylee. Or like us.

Fuck. Would she really break up with me over the phone?

Break up? Why is that thought even entering my brain right now?

“Ryls?” I say, my voice soft. My pulse pounding in my veins. “I’m worried about you. Are you okay? You can tell me if you aren’t.”

“I don’t want you to worry. I’m okay. This has… I mean… long distance isn’t easy and lately, it’s been really hard.”

I wince, feeling like I’ve been kicked in the groin. She’s not okay. “I know. I get it. I fucking hate it,” I tell her, mad at myself for focusing so much on my own pain, for not realizing sooner how difficult this has been for her. I should have asked more questions. I should have been a better listener. I should have paid more attention.

“I’m sorry,” she continues. “I’m the one who put us in this position. I feel like this is all my fault.”

“Don’t say that. This is not anyone’s fault. This is our reality. It’s not easy, but we are worth it.”

“We are,” she says quietly, and I pray that she believes it.

“I’m sorry this is hard on you. I hope you know it’s the same for me. I hate being this far away from you. Please talk to me. I don’t want you to shut me out.” She’s gone silent again and it’s making me want to scream. I tell her what I think she needs to hear. “You mean the world to me, babe.”

“I know,” she says, another two-word answer.

“Tell me what’s on your mind,” I say. “I don’t like it when you go quiet on me.”

She sighs. “I think I’m just having a bad week.”

“And why is that? Tell me so I can make things better.”

“Truth is, I’m not really sure what is going on with me. I feel down and I shouldn’t. I have so much in my life to be thankful for. I have my family, the farm, and more photo shoots booked than I can handle. And of course, I have you.” I can hear the tears in her voice. My heart shatters.

“Miles, I’m going to be okay. I’m not broken. And I’m not going to suddenly decide I don’t want to be with you. I’m just in a bit of a rut.”

I unlock my car and slide into the driver’s seat, yanking off my baseball cap and chucking it across the leather seats. I sink into the chair. My heart feels heavy. My biggest fear is that one day she’ll realize she’s had enough and want to end things. I wouldn’t blame her. I know I don’t deserve her. My life is chaotic. I’m not even sure when I will see her again, my schedule is so packed with promos and interviews. But I know now that I need to go see her. We need to talk. But when? My calendar is booked solid for weeks. I’m not sure how to fix this, and it scares the shit out of me.

Some days I want to scream or punch a wall at the thought of not being able to see Rylee. I’m starved for that connection. She’s so far away. My head falls back against the headrest in frustration. There’s no other woman for me. There’s only Rylee. I am completely devoted to her, but I miss the touch of another person. Her hands on me. My mouth on her. Her heartbeat steady against my chest. I long for the intimacy that I only want from her.

There’s only so much a man can take and I’m pretty sure I’m at my breaking point.

* * *

I arrive at Catch 22 to meet my brothers and my old high school buddies Dylan and Colten and Owen for lunch. I have to catch a 9 p.m. flight to Los Angeles later tonight, but it will be good to spend a bit of time with them. We try to get together whenever I’m in town.

A hostess greets me, holding open the door, ushering me inside. I follow her to a table on the patio where the guys are already seated. Liam looks up as I make my way toward them, nodding a hello. The waitress is at the table, handing out menus and taking our drink orders.

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