Page 82 of Heart Set on You

I could put my heart on the line.

I could take the leap and have faith that my poor heart won’t crack in two.

I could be brave.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Rylee

The Sunny Side Up diner is full, with a line-up of people forming at the door.

Thankfully Cole and I scored the last booth in the restaurant. Having lunch with my brother is exactly what I need to distract me from the thoughts of Miles that are constantly spinning through my head. Spending time with my nieces and nephew is the only other thing that has worked.

It’s been one week since I’ve seen him, and I feel like I deserve some sort of damn medal for getting through it.

“You’re a saint, Rylee. You know that, right?” Cole says before biting into his BLT.

“Obviously, I know,” I sass back. “But wanna tell me why you’re stating the obvious?”

“You are living under the same roof as your 70-something year old grandparents, you cook and clean all day and all night, you garden, you make sure they’re taking their medications and you never do anything for yourself. If your picture isn’t beside the definition of saint in the dictionary, I’d be shocked.”

“You make it sound like a prison. I want to take care of them. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy spending time with them.”

“I hope so.”

“Is that why you invited me out to lunch today? You think I need more of a life?” I ask, straightening my cutlery.

“Maybe. When’s the last time you went out?”

I haven’t been out since I got back to Deer Lake. I’ve been busy on the farm, trying to make things easier for my grandparents. And honestly, I just can’t find the motivation to focus on my non-existent social life.

“You are going to lose your mind if you don’t get out and start talking to people your own age,” Cole warns.

“Awesome.” I roll my eyes. “Happy to know I’ve become your charity case.”

Cole swallows a mouthful of lemonade. “It’s not like that. If staying here in Deer Lake is what you’ve decided to do, I just want to make sure that you’re happy. We all want you to be happy. And from where I’m sitting, it doesn’t look like you are.”

“I’m happy, Coley. Honestly. I’ve been away for too long. They need me. Gran can barely do the stairs anymore with her knee as bad as it is, and Gramps is tired. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“I have,” he admits. “I get that you want to help, but you can’t live there forever. You need a life of your own. Don’t you want to get married? Have kids? I’m not sure how that works when you’re living in your childhood bedroom.”

If lunch with Cole was supposed to distract me from my situation with Miles, that plan is officially failing miserably. Because now he is all I can think about. A life with him. A little boy or girl with his smile and my dark hair. My heart clenches and the familiar ache in my chest returns.

“Where’d you just go?” my brother asks, though I’m sure he already knows exactly where my mind has drifted off to.

I focus on my fingernails like they’re the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen, a pained smile crossing my face. “I’m sorry. I’m good. I’m adjusting to life back home on the farm, that’s all,” I lie.

“Whatever you say, Rylee.” He gives me a half-grin. “I’m sure he’s just as miserable as you are, you know.”

Cole’s words send a waterfall of tingles down my spine- that my brother could be right. Tears prick my eyes for what feels like the hundredth time this week. The last thing I want is for Miles to be miserable, but the thought that maybe he is in L.A. missing me just as much as I miss him offers some strange comfort. Maybe being so far away from me causes him the same kind of pain I'm feeling. Maybe he even loves me, just as much as I love him. I close my eyes, rubbing a hand across my forehead. I can't let myself go down that road. I am in Deer Lake and Miles is hundreds of miles away in Los Angeles. That's not going to change.

I look up to find my brother staring at me, the concern clear in his eyes. He shakes his head, running his thumb around the edge of his water glass. “Cara asked me to invite you for dinner tomorrow night. Can you make it? The kids won’t stop asking when they’re going to see you next.”

“Of course I’ll be there.”

Being with my family is the reason why I quit my job and returned home to Tennessee. I’ve already missed so much. Spending time with them is the distraction I need to make staying here in Deer Lake feel a little bit easier. With time, maybe I can actually do this.

When we finish up lunch, Cole heads back to work and I slip into the old pickup truck I’ve been borrowing from my gramps and call Miles. He answers on the first ring.

---