Page 77 of Indigo

“Michael,” I say, lowering my voice and stepping in front of Mum, pushing her back a little so that there is still space between me and Michael. His eyes narrow on me, and I see the flicker of hatred in them. “If you come back here, if I hear from you again, if you so much as mention Pax’s name or what happened here tonight to anyone, Iwillfile an assault charge along with a restraining order, and leak it to every single patient you have in your clinic, because I damn well kept all those contacts in case I needed them. Iwillshow the police every text message I have received, every creepy card. Iwilltell them what you did to me, how you abused me, threw shit at me,bruisedme. Iwillshow them the email from your father stating that you went missing after struggling with our breakup. I’ll explain how you showed up here, in front of all these people, and attacked Jagger, myself, and Pax. I’ll alert every news outlet that’ll listen and tell them my story. The story of the little rich boy who slept with his employee, cheated on her, abused her, and then stalked her with malicious intent. I willruinyour reputation, your father’s reputation, your business, and your fuckinglifewithout blinking. Are we clear?”

I wait for him to reply, my heart racing in my chest, but he doesn’t. He simply looks at me, pure rage vibrating off him before he shakes his head and storms toward the exit.

He doesn’t stop, doesn’t look back. I’m not bluffing, and he knows it. I just hope that my threat alone is enough to keep him away.

I should have done this so long ago, stood up for myself, reported his behaviour, something, and the guilt of that fact sits heavy on my chest.

Turning to Mum, who’s glaring at the closed door, I say, “I need to see Pax.”

“I’ll come with you,” she offers, but I shake my head.

“No, thank you. Go home, and I’ll see you in the morning, alright? He needs me right now. I can feel it.”

She doesn’t let me out of her sight easily, and insists on driving me to Pax’s even though I’m more than capable of walking.

After watching her car disappear from sight, I push open the door to Pax’s place, which is surprisingly unlocked, and gently close it behind me.

“Look,” Jagger’s voice carries as I make my way down the hallway to Pax’s bedroom. “I don’t know many people who wouldn’t want to beat the shit out of someone who hurt the person they love the way he did, Indie. Do we all have the drive to actually follow through with it? No. But I can tell you, if it wasn’t you tonight, it would have been me, or Josh, or Matt. Hell, even Drew and Callum were frothing at the mouth to get at Michael.”

I stop at the door of the bedroom, which is slightly ajar, and peek through the crack. Jagger's back is to me, and Pax stands shirtless in the middle of the room, his blood stained jumper balled in the corner by the window.

Pax shakes his head, a disgusted smile pulling at his lips. “But I was the one who did it,” he begins, jabbing his chest with his index finger. “I felt every punch, loved every fucking swing, because it was aimed at him. All I thought about was what he’d said to her, the way he looked at her, the way he fucked her up. The look on her face as his hand swung back and connected with her cheek. His words kept replaying in my mind, and I enjoyed every single time my fist connected with his stupid fucking face.” He lets out a sad laugh. “I saw you, too, your face when you were a kid. Mums. It all meshed together at the end. I fucking loved hurting him, Jagger. Don’t you get that? I. Am. Just. Like. Him.”

I gasp and raise a trembling hand to my mouth to muffle the noise, not wanting to interrupt as Pax explains all the thoughts running through his head. I rub my chest to ease the ache from his words, his pain, and wait.

“You really think that little of yourself?” Jagger asks, sounding mystified, moving closer to his brother. “You are nothing like him.”

Pax scoffs and walks to the bed, dropping himself onto the mattress and burying his face in his hands. Jagger moves slowly, sitting beside him before continuing. “I know you, brother. Better than anyone. For as long as I can remember, you threw yourself in front of our father without a second thought to protect me, even though he was out of control and so much fucking stronger than us. You took every hit, kick, evil word to keep me safe. You are the man that removed the wardrobe doors for me without me even needing to ask when we got this place because you knew the thought of them freaked me the fuck out. You’re the man who dropped out of school and started working the second you had the opportunity so that you could keep food on the table. I don’t know if there’s anything you can’t do, Pax. You’re my fucking hero.”

“Mine too,” I say, my voice shaky, making both of their heads turn to me in surprise.

Jagger smirks at me as I push the door open, and slowly gets to his feet, patting Pax on the shoulder before heading my way.

He reaches forward and pulls my head to his lips so he can kiss my hair. “Glad you’re okay.”

I stand there in the doorway, my eyes locked with Pax’s as we listen to Jagger walk down the hall. He opens and closes the front door behind him, leaving us in silence.

Pax clears his throat after a moment, and wipes his hands nervously along his thighs. “Are,” he pauses and swallows. “Are you okay?”

I don’t think. I just rush toward him and throw my arms around his neck. He catches me as I jump into his lap, straddling him as best I can.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck, letting the smell of him calm my nerves. “He’s gone now, Pax. I promise. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” he asks, sounding unsure..

I nod against his skin, tears filling my eyes as all the emotions from tonight hit me at once. “It’s all my fault.”

Pax strokes my hair as I cling to him. “No. Blue, I shouldn’t have–”

“But if I hadn’t come back here then–”

“Then we wouldn’t be together,” he says, his voice firm. “I’m the one who should have been able to control myself. I’m… I promise I’ll work harder on it, okay? I’ll go back to therapy. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel safe around me after what you saw tonight.”

Oh, Pax.

“I love you,” I say, pulling my head back while he holds me so that I can look into his eyes. “I love you so much. I’ve never been scared of you a day of my life.”

I can see that he’s going to protest, so instead of using more words, I simply lean forward and press my lips to his.

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