Page 105 of Indigo

I guess yes, summarises all that pretty well when the question is, will you marry me?

“Thank god.” He exhales loudly and pulls me from my chair so that both of us are now kneeling on the ground.

“I love you,” I say through teary eyes, and then he kisses me, and everything around us disappears.

“I love you,” he whispers, pulling back and running his nose along mine, scrunching his face as the first tear falls down his cheek. “I fucking love you so much.”

Best. Birthday. Ever.

-36-

INDIGO

SIX MONTHS LATER

“YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL, INDIE,” Paisley whispers to me, pure excitement radiating off her as she stands in front of the closed door, ready to make her entrance, and walk down the aisle.

She did so well when choosing her dress to match my vision. I wanted her to feel comfortable and like herself, and she picked the most beautiful burnt orange satin midi-dress that I could have ever imagined.

Everything has come together so beautifully. We started planning this wedding the moment Pax and I got home from our night in the city, and I’ve been floating around on cloud nine all morning.

I woke before the sun rose, went and had coffee with Mum, and then got home by the time Paisley dragged herself out of bed.

“You ready?” she asks, bouncing in place, the bouquet of seaside daisies we assembled this morning clenched tightly in her hands.

I scoff at the question and run my fingers through my curls, loving the way they feel after being left to do their own thing. The only addition I made was tiny little beaded flower clips that I strategically placed around my head.

I’m ready. So ready to marry my man.

“You damn well know I am,” I reply, unable to keep the grin from my face.

Smoothing down the front of my cream-coloured maxi dress, I take a moment to admire the deep pink flowers woven through the thin fabric. It’s beautiful. Everything I could have wished for, and funnily enough, found it in the back of Mum’s closet when Paisley and I were boxing up her clothes. I have no idea why she had it, or where she wore it, but I loved it from the moment I laid eyes on it, and I knew, right then, that this was the dress I’d wear when I married Pax.

Holding the wedding in Mum’s backyard, or mine and Pax’s backyard, now, I guess, was the best way I could think of to include her today. It feels right, being here, feeling her around me, and this way, when I say “I do” to the man I know she knew I was going to marry, she’ll be here, in a way at least.

Mrs Neil pushes open the back door slightly and pokes her head through the crack. “Ready ladies?” she asks, practically beaming.

I nod. “Hell yeah.”

She winks at me and closes the door, and within a minute, “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Hayley Reinhart begins to play through the outdoor speakers.

The song I spent hours deciding on announces that my wedding is about to start, and that Pax is standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for me to join him.

Something inside of me snaps, and without warning, panic takes over my body.

My chest feels tight, my hands start to sweat.

She isn’t here. She isn’t here. She isn’t here.

The words play over and over in my mind as I try to catch my breath, but it’s not working.

“I can't breathe,” I whisper to Paisley, closing my eyes and trying to focus on inhaling and exhaling.

I feel like my throat is closing up.

She’s not here. She’s not going to walk me down the aisle or give me away. She’s not going to see me say,“I do.”She’s missing all of it. Oh, god…

“Indie, babe, what do you need? Tell me what to do,” Paisley rushes out, holding onto my arms, and pressing her forehead against mine.

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