Page 71 of Molly

MOLLY

It’s been two days, and he’s given me the space I asked for. Physically, anyway. My head is still a mess. I don’t know which way is up anymore.

I love him, but do I trust him?

I want him, but does he want me as much as he says he does?

Did he really just fall asleep on the couch, or is there some truth behind what Jess said?

Even if he’s telling me the truth now, will he always?

I’m standing in my kitchen, drying a mug, when I hear my phone buzz on the counter.

RYAN: I love you.

It’s the fifth message he’s sent today, and I haven’t replied to any of them. Everything I have to say needs to be said to his face.

“Aunty Penny!” I hear Emma scream, announcing Penny’s arrival. I asked her to come over and watch Em for a bit while I go to Ryan’s.

I look up as she walks into the kitchen, and her appearance makes me gasp. Her hair is a mess, tied up in a makeshift bun on top of her head. Her eyes are basically black and sunken in. She looks like she’s sporting the world’s worst hangover. “Pen...”

She puts her hand up to stop me. “I know. I’m fine. It’s just been a rough few days.” I go to speak, and she cuts me off. “Don’t. Please,” she pleads, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

I nod and wrap my arms around her. She relaxes into me, burying her face in my neck. “I’ll be back soon, and we’ll talk, okay?” I whisper. She nods, humming into my shoulder.

Emma is standing by our feet, looking confused, so I say, “Emma, baby. Aunty Penny is feeling a little sad today. Maybe you could draw her a picture? I know that always makes me feel better. What do you think?”

She smiles and claps her hands excitedly. “Yes! I draw picture for you, Aunty Penny!”

Penny sniffles and plasters a smile on her face. “I would love that.”

I kiss Emma goodbye, get in the car, pull out my phone, and send Evie a message.

ME: Can you come and sit with Pen, please? She’s a mess. I won’t be long, just ducking to Ryan’s.

She replies almost immediately.

EVIE: On my way. Alex and Izzy can handle things here for another hour. We aren’t crazy busy.

???

Ten minutes later, I’m sitting in my idling car on the side of the road, in front of Ryan’s house. I put the car into park, turn off the ignition, and take a deep breath.

You can do this. Just tell him how you’re feeling. It’ll all work out. You love each other, that’s the most important thing... right?

After my internal pep talk, I flip the sun visor down.Ohgreat, I look about as good as I feel. Dark circles surround my eyes, my hair is an oily mess, slicked back into a tight bun, and my dark grey, oversized t-shirt looks like I slept in it. Wait, did I sleep in it? Fuck. I flick the visor back up with a little more force than necessary and open the car door.

As I get to the front door, I realise it’s slightly ajar, so I push it open and close it quietly behind me. “Ry, you home?”

I look down at my phone, checking the time. It’s 4:00PM, so he should be here... the door was open. The kitchen is empty. The TV isn’t on. The house is silent...

I hear a thud coming from the bedroom and let out a relieved breath.Alright, he’s here.I head for the closed door, reach for the handle, and freeze as I hear a very familiar, feminine voice.

He wouldn’t...

With a shaky hand, I open it, and my whole world stops spinning. Ryan is standing at the foot of the bed, wrapped in a white towel. Jess is naked, in his bed, partially covered by the same white quilt I’ve slept under more times than I can count. I let out a gasp, loud enough for both of them to hear.

Ryan spins so quickly, he almost drops his towel. “Molly,” he whispers, eyes wide, panic lacing his tone.

---