Page 55 of Molly

“Oh... um.”

Fuck, should I be meeting his mum? Yes... right? I should... but then we’re just tangling our lives together even more than they already are. They’ll love Emma... she’ll have a big family... but then, if it goes away, what then? Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Mol. I’m doing my best here not to push you. I don’t want to freak you out and have you shut down on me. I know you’re letting me in, letting me get to know Emma, but you’ve still got this wall up...”

“Ryan, you’re here basically every night. You’ve got more clothes in my room than I do. You tuck Emma in every night. What am I doing here that’s making you think I’m not right here with you?” I try to sound calm, but the panic in my voice is obvious.

His face turns serious. “I’m still a guest here, Mol. I'm still Em’s buddy. You don’t take me up on the offer when I ask to have Em on days I finish work early. You don’t let me do bath time or get her ready. I know nothing about the financial side of your life or how much your mortgage is here. You won’t let me buy groceries, won’t let me contribute.” He looks down at the counter when he’s finished.

I stand there, a little shocked that he’s just thrown all that out there. I didn’t even think he was serious about having Emma on his own... he wants to buy us groceries?

“Ryan... look, it’s just...” I pause, unsure what I’m even trying to say. I should just tell him how I’m feeling... Ryan will make it all better. Surely. He’ll calm me down. I’ll just tell him. But what if I freak him out? What if he’s angry that I’m freaking out about meeting his mum?

Oh, good. Now I'm freaking out more. Good job, Molly.

He looks back up at me, tilts his head, and whispers, “What are you so afraid of, Molly?”

I shrug. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

Why did I say that? Good lord.

He narrows his eyes at me. “You’re lying. Tell me.”

I gulp. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Ryan.”

He walks towards me, a determined expression on his face. He reaches out, grabs my shoulders, and hunches slightly so that our eyes are at the same level.

“What are you so fucking afraid of, Molly?” he whispers again, demanding an answer.

I feel my bottom lip wobble. A lump forms in my throat, and something inside of me snaps. “Everything! Everything about this, about you, scares the shit out of me. Emma called you her best friend, Ryan. Herbest friend. She’s attached. Fuck, I'm attached. I don't know how to do this... I was perfectly happy raising her with Penny and Evie. We had a system. Everything was fine. Then you waltzed into our lives and flipped everything upside down. Now I want more. I crave more. But I don't know how to let you in. I don't know how to let you take care of us, because if you decide this isn't for you anymore, if you leave... I'm the one left standing here. It'll be my job to pick up the pieces and explain to Emma why you left,” I say, tapping my chest. “Me.”

He shakes his head, lets out a loud sigh, and cradles my face. His thumbs wipe away the tears flowing down my cheeks, and then he takes a step backwards, putting space between us. He runs his hands through his hair and says, “I don't know what else I can do to show you I'm all in, Mol. I just... fuck, I don't even know what to say to that.”

He turns, grabs his keys off the dining table as he passes it and walks towards the door. I follow close behind him, and as his hand grips the doorknob I choke out, “Ry...”

His head turns towards me slightly, and he murmurs,“You and Emma both deserve more than afinelife, baby. When you're ready to let me show you that, you know where to find me.”

The door shuts behind him with a click, and it feels like his words echo around the silent room.

You and Emma deserve more than afinelife...

29

MOLLY

I open the door to Inked on Agnes with two containers of'I'm sorry for pushing you away’chocolate chip cookies under my arm.

I hear Beckett's voice come from down the hallway. “She'll come around, brother. Give her some time.”

My heart hurts a little knowing I made Ryan feel like I don't want him.

“Hey guys, I brought cookies,” I call out.

The shop is completely silent for a moment before two sets of footsteps come towards me. I put the cookies down on the front counter and wait. Beckett walks into the room first, followed by a very hopeful looking Ryan.

Beckett grins and pats Ryan’s shoulder. “Told you so, mate,” he says. Looking down at the counter, his eyes widen. “Ohhhh please tell me one of those containers is for me.” I nod, and he practically dives at them, rips the lid off one, and shoves a cookie in his mouth. “Ohmygod.”

“Beck,” Ryan says, narrowing his eyes, irritation lacing his tone.

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