Page 46 of Molly

Once we’re inside, Emma skips off to her bedroom while I go to make her some lunch.

I’m buttering bread when Ryan comes up behind me and puts his hand on my stomach, pulling me back slightly so that I’m pressed against his chest.

I tense in his arms, not wanting him to touch me right now.

“I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that,” he whispers.

I nod, agreeing with him silently. He shouldn’t have spoken to me like that. But maybe we should have clarified what ‘separate’ meant. We should have talked about this whole situation more than we did.

“Please don’t be angry with me. I didn’t mean to say it like that. I shouldn’t have snapped,” he says.

I shake my head slightly and sigh. “You should have told me you were seeing her, talking to her. I don’t like you lying, sneaking around, Ryan. It’s not okay.”

He nods, his head buried in my neck. He places a kiss on my pulse point and moves his mouth up next to my ear. “I’m sorry. I won’t hide anything again, baby.” I hum and keep assembling Em’s sandwich. “Mol...”

“I just don’t get you, Ryan,” I snap, my anger surging back to life. “You say over and over,‘trust me, Molly’,‘I won’t hurt you, Molly’, and then you lie straight to my face. Trust isn’t just given. It’s fucking earned. Do you think you’ve earned it?”

He wraps his arms tighter around my middle. “I just didn’t want you to get upset. We’re doing so great at the moment. Last night was... well, you know how it was. And then today... I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“I don’t want a relationship built on lies,” I say, feeling the fight leave my body.

“I know. I don’t either. I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers into my hair.

I put the butter knife down and wriggle around so that I’m facing him. I tilt my head back, stare into his ice-blue eyes, and I see the regret in them. I lean in, putting my head on his chest. “I need you to be honest with me, Ryan.”

I feel him nod, his head resting on top of mine. “I won’t do it again, Mol. I promise...” I nod, feeling my body relax into him a little more. “Why don’t I finish up making Em’s lunch. You want to have a bath or something? Relax.”

I hesitate for a second, but decide to take him up on the offer.

I deserve a damn bath.

22

MOLLY

“Mumma, come on!” Emma yells as she runs towards the pond, a stale loaf of bread in one hand and her pink stuffed dog in the other.

“I’m coming baby, Mumma isn’t as fast as you,” I call back.

“God, how does she never tire?” Evie laughs beside me.

I shake my head. “I have no idea.”

We walk side by side through the park, the cool breeze tossing our hair around. I love it here. The lake is definitely the most appealing part of Mawson Lakes. It’s smack bang in the middle of town and at least two kilometres long. It’s always occupied by several duck families, and even though I’m not the biggest fan of the feathery fucks and their beady little eyes, Emma’s obsessed. So, we try to get down here to feed them their lunch once a week.

I love how calm and quiet it is here. The only noise is coming from the ducks enjoying the full pieces of bread Emma is currently throwing in the water. The grass lining the lake is always immaculately maintained, and the trees running along the water provide plenty of shade to sit and enjoy the silence in.

“So, how are things with Ryan? We haven’t really had a chance to talk about it this week,” Evie asks as we walk through the small gazebo.

“We’re good. After the whole secret-keeping conversation, things have been great. It took me a minute to get past it, but I’m trying to see it from his perspective, you know? We didn’t really say what ‘keeping Jess and I separate’ meant, and Ryan isn’t a massive fan of conflict.”

As we get to Emma, she turns and grins at us, shaking the half-empty bag of bread around in the air.

“Mumma, look. The ducks was so hungwy.”

Evie and I laugh and sit down on the grass to watch her. I pull my legs up to my chest, rest the side of my face on my knees, and look at Evie. She’s wearing a matching pink sports bra and leggings, and her hair is in a high ponytail. She looks like activewear barbie, which isn’t abnormal for her.

I look back over to Em, who’s now sitting on the grass, scolding the ducks for fighting over the piece of bread she threw them.Fucking ducks.

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