“That Penny?” he asks.
“Yeah, that’s her.” I turn the screen towards him so he can get a better look, forgetting he hasn’t met her yet.
He glances at it, smiles, and then his eyes come back up to meet mine. He leans in closer and raises his hand to tuck the curl that’s fallen onto my face behind my ear. I can feel his breath on my cheek, and my heart starts beating faster. The air between us feels hot, tense. I bring my eyes up to his and get lost in them; they are the most incredible shade of blue. His pupils are blown, and his tongue peeks out to wet his bottom lip. “You’re something else, you know that? I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my fucking life,” he whispers, eyes zeroing in on my mouth.
I can feel my chest rising and falling faster. The anticipation is killing me. Is he going to kiss me? Fuck, I want him too... but I can’t. Time to come clean. I can’t do this with him without telling him about Emma. He’s just laid out his life story at my feet, and I’m hiding her, hiding an enormous piece of myself from him. Just as I’m about to speak, he raises his hand again, this time cupping my face, rubbing his thumb back and forth on my cheek. He slowly trails it down and wraps it around my neck, using it to tilt my head back slightly, positioning me how he wants me. He leans in, and I can feel every breath he takes against my lips...
“I have a baby!” I feel my eyes go wide.Well,shit. That came out a lot louder than I wanted it to.
His head jerks back slightly, he drops his hand, and his eyes search mine. “A,” he clears his throat. “A baby?”
“She’s two. Her name’s Emma. She’s with Penny and Evie tonight. I should have told you earlier. I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to bring it up without freaking you out, and you’ve been so sweet, and I wasn’t expecting it, and I kind of just lose my brain when you look at me like that. I’ve never been on a first date. I didn’t know if I should... if it was too soon or not soon enough and... ugh, now I’m rambling.”
I cover my face with both hands and turn my head away. After a minute of silence, I part my fingers to peek at him and realise he’s not even looking at me. He’s staring at the TV, his face blank and a little pale.Shit.
I feel the need to escape wrap around me like a rope, so I shoot up from my seat, “I should, um, I’m going to go. Thanks for the pizza.” I rush out in a wobbly voice, grabbing my keys and phone. I practically sprint down the hall towards the door.
After a few steps, I hear him following. “Molly, wait. Just. Fuck. Give me a second here, babe. I just need... let me process. That’s a big thing you just dropped, and I just-”
I hold up my hand to stop him, emotion clogging my throat. I knew this would happen. I don’t know why I even came here. He can have anyone he wants. Why would that be me? I’m a twenty-two-year-old single mum who’s never even been on a date. I barely have enough time to brush my teeth in the morning, and my stomach is covered in stretch marks. What the hell do I have to offer him? “It’s all good Ryan. I’ll see you around,” I say without looking back at him, my voice breaking at the end.
He doesn’t move to follow me as I get in my car and speed off, tail tucked between my legs.
7
RYAN
I push open the door of Coffee Leaf and look around, trying to spot her. It’s been two days since Molly took off from my place. I gave her yesterday to calm down, but today, she’s facing me. I got her number from her consent form and tried to message her, but she won’t reply. Won’t answer when I call either, and I’m getting a little pissed. I’m not going to let her hide from me. Just cos I needed a second to get my head around her having a kid doesn’t mean I’m not okay with it, I just wasn’t expecting it. I really wasn’t expecting it to be screamed at me just as I was about to kiss her.
Once I get to the counter, I can hear her beautiful laugh coming from the back, and it makes my whole body relax. After a couple of seconds, she comes around the corner giggling with Penny. She freezes as soon as she sees me, like a little deer in headlights. Her eyes are wide and panicked, looking around as if she’s trying to figure out the best escape route.
Penny, who I recognise from the photo Molly showed me, leans in and whispers something in her ear. She winks and walks towards the customers sitting down, waiting to be served, glaring at me as she passes. Damn, that look is vicious. For such a little woman, she’s intimidating as fuck.
“Ryan?” Molly murmurs. God, I love the sound of my name rolling off her tongue.
I smile, trying to ease the tension. “Hey, gorgeous. You got a minute?”
“Oh, um...” She rubs her arm nervously, looking at the floor.
“Just need a minute, sweets, won’t take up much of your time. Got a few things that need to be said.”
She nods, hesitantly. “You can, um, come around back. I can’t be long, though.”
I walk past her, towards what I assume is the staff room, and pause when I get to the doorway. It’s decorated similarly to the front room; plants everywhere, table and chairs set up in the middle, mini kitchen along one wall. The only difference is that they’ve painted the walls light pink. What really grabs my attention is the white desk sitting in front of the huge window overlooking the park. On top of it is a photo frame. From here, even I can tell it’s Emma. She’s the spitting image of her mumma.
Molly comes in behind me and goes straight for the fridge, pulling out two water bottles and placing them on the table, gesturing for me to sit down.
“So, what’s up?” she asks casually. I can tell she’s faking her calm exterior because her hands are shaking slightly, and she immediately starts picking at the label on her bottle when she takes a seat.
I smile as I sit down and shake my head, my eyes meeting hers. “What’s up is that you bailed on me, Molly. You won’t answer my calls, won’t reply to my messages. Couldn’t reach you. That’s not cool. You didn’t even give me a chance. You took off before we could even discuss it.”
She sighs. “Look, Ryan, I like you, I do. I don’t date because Emma is my number one, always. I knew you’d react the way you did, and I admit I should have told you sooner. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like anything other than a mum, and I loved it. Basked in it. The little bubble we had going on where I was just Molly, and you were interested, was amazing.” She raises one shoulder and looks to the side. “A man like you doesn’t want a twenty-two-year-old single mum. I’ve got nothing to offer you other than a few stolen moments or nights after work and a body that’s been destroyed by pregnancy. We may as well just go our separate ways and call it what it was. A great couple of dates and an almost kiss. You’ll move on to the next woman in a week and forget all about it. It’s all good.”
I don’t like that.
“That’s what you want, Mol? Don’t want to see me anymore? Thought we’d moved on from this shit. I’ve been trying to show you who I really am. You can’t be throwing that shit in my face every chance you get. I’ve explained to you how it worked with other women. It’s not like that with you. I’d never want it to be like that with you. This thing between us felt good because it is. Don’t shut down on me because you’re scared. That’s not fair to either of us. Have a little faith, baby.”
She looks at me, confusion written all over her face, so I reach across the table and grab her hand, intertwining her fingers with mine.“If you’d stuck around and actually talked to me the other night, you’d already know that I don’t want this to end. I like you, Molly. I like where this could go, you and me. You being a mum changes nothing on my end. I also hate that you see yourself that way. You’re fucking beautiful. You need to open your eyes and see that. Pregnancy didn’truinanything. It made you who you are. And I like who you are. All you’ve got to give is the time you have spare in between Em and this place? That’s cool. I think you forget that I run my own shop, too. I get it. And I’m still here.”