Page 124 of Billion Dollar Pack

“He has a favour to ask. He reached out to me about it, and I said I’d bring you here to consider it.”

“What?” My fingers went to my mouth. I needed to hold this shit back sometimes, this need to know everything. We’d see Fabian soon, and he’d tell me, surely.

Beau grabbed my hand and rubbed my fingers again.

“His final year show will be on while we’re in town—”

“And we’re going?” I smiled due to the feeling of relief, then excitement, then gratitude. “That’s what you brought me here for? Oh my god, Beau, that’s perfect!”

“There’s more.” His grip tightened on my hand, which resulted in a thin thread of fear souring that excitement. I just stared at him, my mind producing possibilities, so many possibilities. Each thought rose up like a soap bubble, filling my mind, each one more terrifying than the next. “Fabian made you a dress.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s how I met him. He and Henri—”

“No, he made a dress from your measurements for his final show. Each student has to produce a collection as part of their final assessment, and he chose to use you as one of his models. He and Henri had so much fun working on the clothes Lucien ordered, he decided to design one of his own for his collection.”

I’d used my dickhead whisperer voice with my bosses all my life, but this was the first time someone had used it with me. I felt caged now, pressed against the wall, with Beau’s grip on my hand tightening, my breath coming faster and faster.

“He reached out to me, as he wasn’t sure how you’d take the news. He also wanted to feel someone out on an idea.”

“Beau…”

“He wants to know if you’ll model the dress for him, walk the runway, and show off his creation to the world.”

This whole conversation felt like a slap in the face. This wasn’t what I would’ve wanted as a grand gesture at all. I stared at him, unable to keep the pain and betrayal out of my eyes, but then I felt even worse because I saw an answering pain in his. He didn’t tell me at the airport because I would’ve said no and jumped right in a cab and gone home. He’d forced me here, a whole world away, to do…

“There’s a second option.” His words came much more quickly now. “We visit Fabian’s workspace, take a look at the dress, watch his show in the audience, and then I’ll take you out into the countryside. I’ve got some beautiful places booked, ones where we can spend the day in bed and I can watch the way British light falls over your body as I kiss every inch of you. We can go for long lonely rambles through the woods, stop at beautiful little pubs for lunch and dinner. We can eat, fuck, discover and just be together. It’s what I originally had planned.”

His throat bobbed then, and that was what it took to break me out of my own thought spiral.

Beau was nervous.

Maybe not nervous. My focus zeroed in on just him now, checking the set of his shoulders, the wideness of his eyes. I listened to the rapid rasp of his breaths, right up until I took my spare hand and placed it on his chest. His other hand covered that, holding me there, forcing me to feel the rapid skitter of his heart.

“We’ve been seeing the therapist, as you suggested. We see her together and apart, because that’s what we all agreed was best. She’s…helped me see how some of my predilections can be unhelpful at times.” He stared down at me, those blue eyes begging, pleading for me to understand. “I just want you to be happy, Sage. I breathe in your scent when we’ve had a productive day and got a heap of work done. I breathe it in post sex or just when we’re cuddling on the couch. I breathe it in when you’re lying next to me, asleep, dreaming sweet omega dreams, and I feel like no drug on earth can compete with the high it gives me. I love giving you pleasure, omega.”

I rubbed my hand then, wanting to give him some of that pleasure back.

“But the therapist made clear to me that focussing only on the good times isn’t healthy. If you accept me as your mate, then I have to be there for you for all of it. Pain, pleasure, boredom, irritation, excitement, and just…being. We worked out a plan for this trip. She let me have the kind of trip I wanted to plan for you as a backup, putting the power in your hands.”

He shook his head and then looked up at me.

“Talking to Tobias, he made me aware that all of this is a trust exercise. We have to earn your trust and then prove we are worthy of it. That’s what I’m trying to do. I know you don’t like fuss or the spotlight being put on you. I know you only wear dresses when the occasion demands it and you’re not comfortable with that a lot of the time. I know…”

His hands rose, his thumb grazing across my cheek.

“I know you don’t see how fucking beautiful you are, and I don’t think frocking up and walking up a damn runway will change that, but…Fabian is a friend, and I think if your mother hadn’t put all this toxic shit on you, you’d want to help him out with this. If you’re ready, if you’re willing to work through the discomfort and find a way to do this, I want to be there, supporting you at every step of the way.”

I blinked, all the heat inside me doused so thoroughly, it was as if I’d never been hurt at all. I stared at him then, at that beautiful face that drew so many people closer, and tried to capture every single response in my mind.

“You want to do more than just make me happy,” I said in a much quieter voice.

“Happy is a temporary thing,” he said. “It comes and goes. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t value it so much. I don’t want you just when times are good, Sage. I want all of it. Part of me feels like a greedy little boy, sucking in your every reaction, because I just want more and more.”

His kiss, this time, was soft and questioning, waiting for me to reciprocate and let him know I wanted more. My hands sank into his hair, raked across his shoulders, and then I pulled away, pressing my face into his chest and taking big lungfuls of his scent in, to help prepare me for what was to come.

“The choice is yours, omega. I’ll scrap both plans and let you decide on what we do, if that works better.”

“One.”

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