Page 35 of Resurrecting His Soul
Allison came running out of the house with a bat, and Melina and Jameson got up and took one step towards the porch. “If you take one more step, there is nothing that will stop me from ripping out both of your throats,” he growled. Melina’s eyes flashed with pain before they dropped to Lisandra still wrapped in his arms and the pain was replaced by pure hatred. “There is nothing more for you here, Melina,” Ricardo said. Melina looked back up at him. “If I catch you anywhere near our home again, I will end you.”
Jameson started laughing, but Melina grabbed his arm and took off running, dragging him away from the property in no time. Allison moved in front of him and bent down and grabbed Lisandra’s arm. “We’re getting out of here,” she said.
Ricardo’s eyebrows shot up, and even though it wasn’t possible, his heart started racing like it was trying to clammer out of his chest to grab ahold of Lisandra itself. “What? No, you can’t leave.”
Lisandra turned to look at him, and his heart nearly broke in two when her eyes filled with tears. Her lip quivered when she spoke. “He found me.”
He took her hand and placed it on his chest. “I’m so sorry, love. This is my fault.”
She shook her head. “Deep down a part of me knew he’d find me, eventually.”
“No,” he shook his head. “This was Melina. I don’t know how, but she must have figured out having him show up would hurt you. If only I’d listened to you sooner. I should have killed her the first time she tried to hurt you. My desire to find something good in her has put you in danger, yet again.”
“Agreed,” Allison said. She grabbed Lisandra’s arm again and began pulling her away from him. “And now it’s time for us to go.”
He could feel the tears streaming down his face before he realized he was crying. His throat was so tight he could barely take in any air, and even though he wanted more than anything to grab Lisandra and hold her tight, his limbs seemed to have forgotten how to work. “Please, love, don’t go.” He paused, trying to catch his breath. “Don’t leave me.”
Allison opened her mouth, no doubt planning to tell him where to shove all of his pleas, but Lisandra pulled her arm away from her and gripped his shoulders. She glanced back at Allison. “Allison, that’s enough. Ricardo and I need to talk.”
The weight on his chest only lifted slightly with her words, but he held onto the tiniest hope when she didn’t immediately leave him to flee with her friend. Allison glared at the two of them before stomping back towards her room. After the sound of her door slamming echoed through the house, Lisandra turned back to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her cheek on his shoulder. He stood from the porch, holding onto her tightly, and walked them back inside to the living room and sat down on the couch.
For several minutes she kept her head on his shoulder, not looking at him, and not saying a word. Ricardo bounced his knees nervously, waiting for her to say something, anything. The longer she remained silent, the worse the pain in his chest grew. Worry filled him, but he waited without pushing her to say anything, trying to give her whatever time she needed to get her thoughts together.
Minutes felt like hours before she finally lifted her head and pulled away from him enough to look at him. “Jameson is my ex, and the reason I was at some fair in the middle of nowhere when youfoundme is because I’d finally found the courage to run away to escape his abuse. It took me years to find that courage, and if I’m being honest, it was really Allison’s strength that convinced me to get out of there. I never left before because I was convinced he would find me and kill me.” She paused, and he reached up and wiped away the tears that stained her cheeks. “He came close right before I left. That was the straw that finally got me to listen to Allison’s pleas to run away with her. It was bad, Ricardo, really bad. When I woke up with you, after you changed me, and I felt the strength flowing through my veins, it was the first time I thought I could fight for myself. This newfound confidence came over me. I really thought I’d gotten over my fear.”
Ricardo rubbed his hands up and down her arms, silently waiting for her to share more.
She looked away from him again for a minute, and when she turned back, the pain in her eyes nearly ripped him open. “He showed up here and all it took was the sound of his voice and I was pulled back to that day. To those years with him living in fear. Afraid to move. Afraid to even breathe too loud because that is all it took some days to set him off. It didn’t help matters that I could smell him, even from the back of the house I could smell the scent of a new vampire in our home, and when I heard his voice and realized that it was him, I knew that it no longer mattered that I was this strong new vampire because so was he. How can I ever be safe now?”
Ricardo’s palms were itching. He should have killed them. Should have ended Melina and Jameson when he had them. The desire to kill Jameson was so strong he felt it coursing through him like water through the rapids. In all his years of hunting humans and killing them for their blood, he had never truly wanted to be the frightening monster he had become. He’d been fulfilling the dictate from the woman who’d broken him so long ago. Hearing the fear in Lisandra’s voice made him want to become that monster again, just one more time. He wanted to rip Jameson apart, but not too fast. The bastard deserved to suffer for a while after everything he’d put Lisandra through.
He pulled Lisandra to his chest and held her while running his fingers through the ends of her hair, hoping to offer her even the slightest bit of comfort. To show her how a man who truly loves her treats her. Hearing her retell her story made him worry.
“You know I would never do anything like that, love,” he pulled back enough to look her in the eyes. “I would never do anything to hurt you. You are perfect just as you are.”
She wiped under her eyes. “It’s hard to explain. I do, but I don’t. I know that what Jameson and I had wasn’t real love, but the thing is, I only know that now. In the beginning, I thought it was real. It felt real. And even after he first showed his true colors, I still thought I loved him.” She motioned between the two of them. “I know what I feel for you is something entirely different. It is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt for another person. I feel like we are literally connected. I was drawn to you before I even knew your name, and if soulmates are a real thing, I have a feeling this deep connection we share is because my soul was created as the match for yours. But I’m still scared. I’m scared that I could just be acting naïve again. That I could be letting my emotions cloud my judgement. I don’t know how to get out of my own head; out of my own way to dive in with you all the way.”
It was like he was on a rollercoaster. He wanted to rip out Jameson’s throat, but he also wanted to just forget the guy existed and revel in her declaration of love, that was until she stepped all over his heart again by saying she wasn’t sure she could trust herself to know if their love was real. He took a few deep breaths, trying to be rational, which wasn’t easy for any vampire, but especially not him, not after he’d lived so long just acting without stopping to think about the consequences of his actions. But this was different. Lisandra brought meaning back into his life and it was beyond time for him to start thinking with his conscience at the forefront of his mind again. He couldn’t risk acting on every single emotion or compulsion that ran through his mind because he had to put Lisandra first. And that, that was how he knew she didn’t have anything to worry about when it came to him hurting her. Jameson, on the other hand, he was not to be trusted, but that was a problem Ricardo could handle.
With his arms wrapped around Lisandra, holding her tight, he decided to be completely honest about where his mind was. “I know how you feel about killing, and I am with you completely when referring to humans. For too long I lived my life blocking out the evil things I did. Letting the vampire side of me take over while I shut off my humanity. It was wrong. God, I was awful, and how you can even stand to love someone like me is beyond my measure, but I am so thankful that you do. But there is still a side of me who is a killer, it’s a part of all vampires, but I’m sure it’s even stronger within myself because of how many years I spent embracing that part of myself. That side of me is alive and roaring right now, Lisandra. Never have I wanted to hurt someone the way I want to hurt Jameson. I cannot fathom how anyone could ever want to hurt you, and there must be consequences for the things he did to you.”
He wasn’t really sure what he expected, but for Lisandra to snatch away from him and practically jump off the couch was not among what he’d considered.
“You think I don’t know that!” She threw her arms in the air and then began pacing back and forth between the couch and fireplace. “Beneath the fear there is a part of me that wants him dead too. A part of me that wanted to watch you rip him and Melina to shreds earlier. But if I let that part of me that makes decisions, makethatdecision, I’m afraid I won’t be able to put it back in its box in the back of my mind. If I can be okay with killing them, what’s to say I won’t start making excuses to kill other people?”
“Love,” he said, trying to reach for her, but she snatched her arm away. “Please, I did not mean to upset you. I was only thinking of what was best for you. Of keeping you safe.”
Standing up, he put himself in her path, stopping her pacing, and she allowed him to take her hands in his once again. Just feeling her hands in his own brought him some peace. Every time they touched, a sense of belonging washed over him again. He closed his eyes, letting the feeling wash over him for a minute, trying to calm the storm of worry that her words had brewing within him. There was one thing within him that was stronger than his need to cause Jameson pain, and that was his love for Lisandra.
When he opened his eyes again, he took her face between his hands. “Love, your heart is too big to allow you to give in like that. You will never be a killer like I was. And if you ever need someone to help pull you back from the brink, I will be there for you, just as you were for me.” He kissed her softly. “Wanting them dead doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a survivor.”
Her eyes roamed over his face like she was looking for any signs he wasn’t being truthful with her. The seconds felt like forever, but she eventually brought her eyes back up to meet his. When she closed her eyes and tilted her chin upwards until her lips met his he sighed with relief. He moved his hands, sliding one around her hip until it rested at the base of her spine, and threaded his fingers through her hair at the base of her neck with his other hand. He held her close so that he could feel the rise and fall of her chest with every breath she took. She pulled away too soon, and he immediately felt a space between them he’d not felt since she came into his life. Still, she stood in his embrace and smiled up at him. It wasn’t lost on him that the smile didn’t reach her eyes, but he shoved his worry down, trying to convince himself that her behavior was related to the shock of seeing the man she’d run from show up on their front porch.
She yawned. “I’m really exhausted,” she said quietly. “I think I just need some rest. The shock of everything has me worn out.”
“Of course,” he took her hand to lead her down to their bedroom. “I’ll lay down with you.”
She stopped, making him pause. “I was actually planning to lay down in my old room. So I could sort of keep an eye on Allison. I just can’t leave her alone right now. Honestly, I don’t trust her not to sneak off on her own to go give Jameson and Melina a piece of her mind.”
