Page 17 of Resurrecting His Soul
“She’s right,” Lisandra said. “It was one of the reasons I ah, that I attacked her before. I could sense her jealousy. I don’t know how, but I could.”
The frown lines on Lisandra’s forehead deepened and Ricardo could practically feel her vibrating. As a new vampire she wasn’t fully in charge of her emotions, and he feared if her friend kept pushing her on this issue she would do something she would regret. When he saw Lisandra flex her fists, he prepared to pull her away from Allison, but she surprised him when she blew out a rushed breath and took off out of the room instead, leaving him alone with a half-naked Allison looking him up and down like she was daring him to say something else.
He pointed a thumb over his shoulder and said, “I’m just going to let you get dressed.”
“Yeah, thanks.” Allison rolled her eyes and slammed the door behind him when he walked away. He ran his hands over his face, at a loss for what to do. Women were complicated, and all he knew was that he had to figure out a way to keep Lisandra happy so she wouldn’t leave, and it was clear that for Lisandra that included making Allison happy and keeping her safe even if it was against her wishes.
Chapter Eleven
Lisandra
Lisandra ran outside as fast as she could, which was pretty fast these days. Allison’s stubbornness was something she’d always loved. The fact that she didn’t let others change her mind and stuck to her guns was something Lisandra had always admired and wished that she had been able to do in her own life. However, with Allison’s life on the line it was a quality that had Lisandra so pissed off she knew she had to get away and get some fresh air before she allowed herself to do or say something she wouldn’t be able to take back. And that little reminder about Melina’s crush on Ricardo had not helped her keep her cool at all, either. Her emotions had never been so heightened, but now the smallest thing could set her off and send her into a spiral she was afraid she might not be able to control herself.
She heard the back door of the house open, then close, then the sound of feet moving through the grass as someone approached her. She knew it was Ricardo; she knew his scent. She crossed her arms over her chest and kept her back turned towards him. He didn’t need to see the anger still dancing in her eyes. She felt like a hypocrite because she had been adamant that Ricardo should stop killing, yet she could not stop picturing Melina dead at her hands. It was the one thing that kept crossing her mind as a solution to keeping Allison safe. If Melina were dead, then she wouldn’t have to worry about Allison every second of the day. The idea of her best friend going shopping wouldn’t send terrifying chills down her spine, or have her subconsciously planning ways to lock Allison in her room so she couldn’t run off on her own and put herself in danger.
“It’s normal,” Ricardo’s deep baritone washed over her. He was standing so close she could feel his breath against her neck sending a different kind of chill across her skin.
She shook her head, trying to pull herself out of thoughts of Ricardo’s lips and what it had felt like to kiss him. The emotional whiplash was enough to make the possibility of an immortal life as a vampire feel daunting. “Nothing is normal. Allison is in danger because of me and she’s too stubborn to ever be okay with you or me, or anyone watching her back. And these emotions. I can’t focus on one thing because my mind and hormones are experiencing everything all at once and it’s too much.”
Ricardo placed a hand on her shoulder and she turned to face him. He brushed her hair back behind her shoulder and placed a gentle hand on her cheek. Despite the anger and fear swirling inside her, it didn’t stop her attraction to him from bubbling to the surface again, adding to the emotional cyclone ripping through her and keeping her on edge. Still, she couldn’t resist the urge to lean into his touch. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, breathing him in. It was the first sliver of calm she’d felt since Melina showed her face and ruined the fairy tale she’d been pretending her life had turned into since she met Ricardo and became a vampire. Melina had yanked her back into the reality of her new life with a reminder of everything evil that life as a vampire could entail. There was a part of her that was glad. She couldn’t allow herself to become blinded to the harsh realities of her new existence. She’d been down that road once when she took off on her own because she was angry with Ricardo, and she’d nearly killed an innocent person because she had allowed her hunger to get out of control. She still had so much to learn.
A minute or two passed before Lisandra opened her eyes and looked at Ricardo. He didn’t look annoyed that she hadn’t looked at him sooner or said anything else. He hadn’t tried to rush her to talk it out or pull his hand away. She appreciated his patience. “Nothing will ever be normal again, will it?” she asked him.
He smiled at her softly and brushed his thumb over her cheek where he still held his hand. “There is a different kind of normal for us. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you will learn what your new normal is sooner than you think.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I doubt that. I just ran away from Allison because I had the urge to tie her to the bed so she couldn’t go out on her own, and when I ran out here all I could think about was finding Melina so I could kill her to keep Allison safe.”
When Ricardo’s smile grew, she paused and pulled away from his touch. She could feel her eyebrows drawing together.
“Did you not hear what I just said?”
“Yes.” He reached for her hand and pulled her back in close. “You said that you ran out of the house to stop yourself from doing something that would highly upset your friend. You also said that you ran out of the house with the intensions of killing Melina to make sure Allison would remain safe.”
Lisandra threw her hands in the air. “So you understand why I cannot believe you’re smiling right now! What is wrong with you?”
Ricardo kept smiling and grabbed her by both shoulders and waited until she met his eyes. “I’m smiling because despite the fact that you felt the urge to tie up Allison and kill Melina, you found the strength not to do either.”
“Of course I didn’t do those things. Just because we think something or feel like we want to hurt someone doesn’t mean we have to act on those thoughts. I can have bad thoughts and feelings without acting on them. I’m not a child.”
“That’s just it, in vampire years you are essentially a child.”
She cocked her eyebrow at that, and Ricardo held his hands up. “What I mean is as vampires our emotions are heightened and our inhibitions and inclination to do what’s right are diminished by our impulsivity. The fact you had the impulse to lock up Allison and kill Melina and you did not follow through with those thoughts is fascinating.”
“That’s not fascinating. Just because I think something, even if the urge is stronger than anything I’ve felt before, it doesn’t mean I’m going to follow through and hurt someone. Even if that someone is Melina who might be one of the few people on this earth who probably deserves to be hurt.”
Ricardo smiled brightly again, and she felt her palm itch with the desire slap it off his face.
“You have no idea how impressive you are,” he said. She could hear the admiration in his tone but still didn’t understand it. “It is clear that the urge to hurt Melina is still coursing through you, yet you remain here, talking to me, instead of hunting her down. I’ve been alive for a very long time, and I have never met a vampire as newly turned as you who had any control over their impulses, yet you seem to be in complete control of your actions.”
“I wouldn’t say that. I shouldn’t even be thinking about killing someone. Even someone as evil as Melina. And let’s not forget about that innocent person I nearly killed when I thought I could run off and do all this on my own. You are the only thing that has kept me from becoming a murderer so far.”
Ricardo pulled her into him then and wrapped his arms around her. She pressed her cheek to his chest and shut her eyes, soaking him in. “You do not give yourself enough credit. It is you who is giving me the strength to change, not the other way around.”
“You two should really get a room,” Allison’s voice ripped through the moment and Lisandra nearly busted her forehead on Ricardo’s chin when she snatched away from him, startled.
She was shocked she hadn’t heard Allison coming out of the house. Since becoming a vampire, the world had gotten so loud. She could hear every gust of the wind, every blade of grass that moved as Allison walked towards them, even the steady beat of Allison’s heart growing louder the closer she got. Yet, she’d somehow been so lost in Ricardo’s embrace Allison had managed to sneak up on them, catching her completely off guard.
Allison was dressed, her hair had been dried, and her purse hung on her shoulder.
