Page 45 of Resurrecting His Soul
“I assure you, wasting my time and keeping me from Lisandra longer is not going to help you in that respect.”
Her eyes grew wider. “But I’m your progeny. You can’t.”
“That connection is history now. It saved you from being tossed out when Lisandra first tried to convince me you were evil incarnate, but you have successfully lifted the wool from my eyes, and I now see you for the monstrosity you are.”
Two tears, one on each side, rolled down her face. Previously he would have felt shame for causing her the kind of hurt that would make someone as tough as her cry, but he no longer trusted her in any way. It was likely she was skilled enough to make herself cry on demand, and even if her tears were real, she had only herself to blame. No longer would he take her sins onto himself for the things he had shown her. He’d already taken blame for that, but it had become clear to him that her inclination towards destruction and violence was a part of her core being, and not because he had made her a vampire and taught her how to hunt and kill. Becoming a vampire had simply heightened what had already lurked within her.
Melina sniffed and shut her eyes tightly for a moment, and when she reopened them and looked at him, all traces of her tears were gone, her eyes back to their normal cold stare. “You would do all of this for her? Turn on your own progeny. For some vampire afraid to be her true self, and for her human sidekick.”
Ricardo slammed his fists into the tree on either side of her face. “Stop stalling. Tell me where Lisandra is, now!”
“How can you turn your back on me so easily? Hurt me like this? Hell, just having to see the way you look at her is excruciating.”
“Excruciating? You do not know the meaning of that word. Until you have had your soul ripped away from you, do not tell me about your pain.”
“Your soul?” Melina’s mouth twisted into a snarl. “What fucking soul? You taught me that those are a thing of the past. Another part of us that dies when our human life ends. It’s part of what makes us vampires, and how we are able to accept our lifestyle and having to kill humans for food to survive. Losing our soul is a blessing because we don’t have to feel guilt when we take a life.”
“This is where you are wrong,” he said quietly. “I never said we lose our soul. If you look back, you’ll recall I said my soul had died long ago. That was not a reflection on the soul of all vampires, just me being self-aware. But you’re right about one thing.”
Her eyes lifted slightly, “What?” she asked.
He saw the hope she was trying to hold back, but she was wrong to think anything good was going to come out of this little talk. There was nothing hopeful in her future.
“You do not have a soul, and in that is where we are so very different.”
She shook her head. “No. We are the same.”
“Not even close. My soul may have been dead for centuries, but you, dear Melina, you never had one at all. I should have seen it sooner, but it is clear to me now. And without a soul there is no redemption for you because you are incapable of loving anyone, and without love you will never save yourself from the monster you are.”
“No, that’s not true. I love you.”
“You don’t even love yourself.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she didn’t bother trying to hide them this time, like she wanted him to see the pain his words were causing her. The problem with that was he no longer believed her. No longer believed she was capable of feeling anything real. With his self-hatred slowly peeling away, he was able to see her without the veil of his guilt, and what he had seen was dark.
“I do love you,” she said. She tried to reach up to touch his face, but he didn’t allow her to do so. He knocked her hands away, then took a step back, not wanting to be so close to her. The thought of being touched by her, knowing she had taken Lisandra from him, it made him crazy.
She stepped towards him but stopped when he dropped his hard stare to hers. “This is your last chance, Melina. Tell me where she is, or I kill you now.”
The scent of her fear spiked again, but she didn’t look away. She looked him right in the eyes. “I’ll take you to Lisandra.”
“Just tell me where she is. I’m tired of the game of chase you are playing.”
“No,” she shook her head. “I will take you. That’s my only offer.”
He growled and clenched his fists at his sides. “Just tell me where she is!”
“I don’t trust you,” she said, shaking her head again. “If I tell you, then you could kill me right here. With Lisandra nowhere around, you have nothing to stop you from returning to the killer I know you to be. Don’t get me wrong. That is the vampire I love and admire, but it doesn’t mean I want to die at your hands.”
Every fiber of his being wanted to argue with her. Tell her she didn’t have a clue who he was, and that he wasn’t a killer, but even as that thought crossed his mind, the image of him ripping out her heart and leaving her lifeless corpse to rot in the forest filled his mind. And he was going to kill her, just as soon as he had Lisandra safely back in his arms. Nothing would ever stop that instinct, which meant she was right. If she told him where he could find Lisandra and he no longer needed her, there was a good chance he would allow that side of himself to have his way with her and leave her dead right where she stood. Melina was a lot of things, none of them good, but she wasn’t an idiot.
“So, are we going?” She sounded like a spoiled teenager.
“Fine,” he bit out. “But if this is not real, I promise your death will not be swift, and I will make sure you feel every tortuous thing I do to you until your body gives out, and you leave this world for Hell.”
ChapterThirty
Lisandra
