Page 68 of Breaking the Cowboy's Rules

How did he feel about her?

If they were both committed to continue living within the rule structure of improv, she could suggest that when the rodeo ended, she could follow him back on the tour, see where this went. She had no definite plans yet. Why rush? She’d always been so driven. Slowing down and trying something new was a balm for her shattered nerves. And Bodhi was… Words couldn’t begin to sum him up and what he meant to her adequately.

Bodhi played with the charms on her bracelet.

“I feel like a gypsy,” she admitted when he made the charms jangle a little.

He looked up at her. “Gypsy suits parts of your personality, but so does boss.” He kissed her wrist, and his deep blue eyes clashed with hers. “The way you jumped in this week and helped the moms with the planting and the organizing for the party was impressive. You drew up a plan for where everything should go and had no problem directing the crews.”

“You aren’t so easy to boss.” She tried to deflect his astute observation. She felt like he was some kind of a combination X-ray machine seeing through to her bones and a lie detector reading and judging her soul. “You were always trying to pull me aside for breaks.”

“I wanted to make sure you enjoyed yourself. My impression was this is a vacation for you.”

Could you take a vacation from a life you no longer had? She so wasn’t ready to go into this with him, and now was definitely not the time. He still had two events.

“I am not due back anywhere at a specific time,” she said carefully, trying to keep her voice light and neutral. She knew they had ground rules about the game and a time limit, but Bodhi’s hint that he might have a health issue continued to weigh heavily on her. Could she help him? Be a resource? Advocate? She had a lot of connections, especially in the health field. Not everyone would have written her off. Maybe her money could be used for good—to help Bodhi.

But he’d dodged her few tentative inquiries. She knew it wasn’t her place to push, especially as she hadn’t told him much about her past and he’d pushed for nothing. Was she the only one who would have a hard time walking away?

She looked at her charm bracelet. It was a souvenir, a memory. But Nico wanted more.

“I gotta go get ready for my saddleless bronc event.” Bodhi turned into her body and wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head on her thigh. It was sweet and vulnerable and made her heart quiver. She wanted to love this man. Take care of him. Protect him.

Nothing she had ever felt before. With anyone. Ever.

Her heart leaped in happiness even as it shuddered in terror.

Love.

She stroked her fingers through the shaggy hair at his nape. Determination flooded her. She’d keep him as long as she could. No way would she call ‘asparagus’ on the best thing that had ever happened to her because she was terrified. She’d deal with the heartache later.

“Where’s your brace? You had it earlier.”

“I couldn’t wear it during the roping events. I needed the flexibility for the lasso.”

“We bought you two different braces—a hard one and a soft one.” She lightly slapped his delectable shoulders when he looked up at her, his expression supremely innocent. “The doctor said to wear the hard one during your bronc and bull. I’ll help you get ready,” she said, firmly sliding off the fence and taking his hand.

“See,” he teased. “Like a boss.”

Chapter Eleven

Turns out hedid like being fussed over, Bodhi admitted ruefully. For years he’d watched Ashni often help tape up Beck before rides or tend to his wounds. Hand him his water bottle or flak vest. Beck could do all those things, but Bodhi thought it was a bit emasculating, like Beck was letting Ashni act like his mom, although none of their moms had been particularly doting around rodeo events.

Nico’s face was a mask of concentration as she examined his wrist, which he did admit was still swollen and hurt like hell. All the ranch work this week had aggravated it over and over, but no way had he let the pain impact his workload or give his cousins something to harass him about or worse, worry.

Was the injury that didn’t seem to be improving part of the onset of his potential disease? Bodhi had always been hungry for information. He was a voracious reader but not about this. And his cowardice shamed him. He’d been running since receiving the letter. Yes, him, running away, not manning up.

He’d been a breath away from asking Nico if she wanted to stay with him after the rodeo and the Bash. Follow him on the road for as long as she wanted, see where the ride took them.

But then fear had stopped him.

He didn’t want her pity. He wanted her love.

Love.

The word seemed to jump out of his brain and all but bite him. He, who didn’t believe love was possible more than once. Love was absolute. Inflexible as steel. But he’d been thinking a lot about what Nico had said—that he was more in love with the idea of being in love with Ashni than he had actually been in love with the person she’d grown into.

He mentally kicked himself. He thought he was so smart, but he’d been stupid. He loved Ashni as a friend. Thought of her as a sister. She wasn’t the woman who got away. But, he admitted since he was in full self-exam mode, she’d also protected him. He hadn’t let any other women get close because he didn’t have to face rejection or hurt—all things he felt his mother had dealt him over and over. Damn personal therapy. Hopefully, he wouldn’t let it become a habit. He’d limited himself to sex with women because then he didn’t have to measure up in other ways.

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