Page 37 of Breaking the Cowboy's Rules

“Not an important one,” Bodhi said, dismissing his emotional history with Ash, and for the first time it didn’t feel like a betrayal.

His attention was fully on Nico, not Beck. Not Ashni. Definitely not anyone else in the Java Café, although he knew many people here.

“Do you really care and have so much invested in their relationship, or is the bride game a clever opportunity to get an advantage on your cousin or cousins?”

“I care.” Bodhi felt a muscle tick in his jaw, and he made a deliberate attempt to relax his face. No good freaking Nico out by making her think she’d been dragged into the deep end of a family drama. “I want Ash to be happy. And Beck. He just needs a hard kick to wake his ass up.”

Nico looked at him with that long, focused stare that made him think she saw too much. It was unnerving and reassuring in an odd way. A man couldn’t get away with any bullshit with her.

“Did you give her the plush horse that made such a soft pillow for us last night?”

He hesitated a moment and then pulled out his phone. He showed her the picture of him and Ash goofing. He’d taken it to send to Beck to tweak him, but after seeing the defeated set of Beck’s shoulders, the tension in his body, the droop in his expression, Bodhi hadn’t hit send.

“They’ve been together since high school,” he said looking at the picture and feeling something inside him crack open just a little. “One look and he fell hard. Total splat. Big gooey heart mess. Same thing happened to me,” he admitted in full confession mode. “I met her freshman year. We were in all the advanced classes, but she friend-zoned me. Then Beck came along, and she fell as hard for him as he did for her. That’s how it is for the Ballantyne men. One look and it’s forever.”

God, he felt hollowed out.

His finger went to delete.

“No, don’t.” Nico covered his hand. “Keep it. These family memories are precious to you,” she said earnestly, and he was struck dumb by the pain in her eyes. “This is the girl you love but sacrificed for your cousin’s happiness.”

“And hers,” he admitted. “Beck is a much better man than me.”

“I doubt that. I doubt he or perhaps anyone has any idea of your depths.”

Bodhi didn’t know what to say. Nothing glib.

He also didn’t believe her.

“I’ve never been in love,” Nico said, staring at the picture. “No one has ever fallen in love with me.”

“They don’t know what they’re missing,” he said, meaning it. She was the real deal—genuine, raw, unfiltered, unwound and so vulnerable and complicated and giving.

And he was completely unworthy of her trust.

But at least they both knew it.

“I also don’t have a family that would sacrifice their happiness or anything they wanted for me or for anyone but themselves,” she admitted softly.

That struck him hard. Family was everything to the Ballantynes. Sure, they jockeyed for position and advantage, but all of them would drop anything and come if needed. Even with his complicated relationship with his mom, Bodhi would do anything she needed, and she would do the same—bitching and scolding and advising the entire time.

“I have two brothers, and none of them stepped forward to help when I needed it.”

He didn’t even have words for that. It sucked, but that was totally inadequate. He took her hand. Her fingers were cold, and he engulfed all that ice, determined to thaw and warm her through. She deserved to be cherished. She deserved total attention and sacrifice. “I’m an only, but I always had my cousins. We grew up more like brothers. Always competing. Always trying to gain the upper hand. One-upping.” He smiled. “But we always have each other’s backs. Beck or Bowen need anything from me, it’s theirs. Same with Granddad. He needs one of us to retire from the tour to care for him if he’s sick, any of us will do it. He needs money, it’s his.”

“You really mean that,” she said. “Truly.” She traced the faint lines bracketing his mouth. “I’ve never met a family like that.”

“You’ll meet mine.”

“Really?”

“We’re getting engaged,” he said.

“Not really.” She pulled her hand away, and he immediately missed her touch. “We’re just pretending to date.”

“The dating will be real,” he said. “You have a week in Marietta. I’d love to be your guide, show you a good time. I’ve told you a few of my plans, but I got more, and we can get your activity wish list on our dating list, so chime in on the agenda. Anything you want to do or try this week, just let me know.”

“Anything I want?”

---