Page 650 of Hell Hath No Fury
For a second, I can’t say anything at her unusual display of vulnerability. And then, I can’t stop myself from blurting out, “I had to. We’re sisters.”
Sarah studies my face. “We are, aren’t we?”
“Yes. We are.”
She nods and lowers her eyes to the table. I open my mouth to say something to her, put her at ease. Because I know she’s not.
I can see that and there’s this strong urge in me, despite everything, to make things easier for her, my big sister.
But she looks up and says, “I’ve been trying to think about what to say to you. You know, once I saw you. To be honest, I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, see you and just talk.”
Again, my reply bursts out. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you too.”
Sarah smiles. “Good. Because I want to say so many things. I don’t even know where to start.”
I can’t help but chuckle at that. “I usually have the same problem.”
“And that’s my fault. I’ve never been very…” She swallows. “Warm with you. I guess I’ve always been…”
“Always been what?”
“Jealous of you, I think.”
“Jealous ofme?”
A wave of regret washes over her face. “Yes.”
I don’t know what I was expecting when I came to see my sister today. Well, I knew what I washopingfor.
I was hoping for some sort of compromise between us, some sort of reconciliation.
But never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that Sarah would tell me this. That the sister whom I’ve always looked up to, the sister who’s always been better than me at everything, would be jealous of me.
I always considered her perfect, flawless—at least before I found out about her betrayal—and I always admired her for it. And I always thought that she hated me because I was the opposite of her and I am.
I’m not perfect and that’s okay.
But this is… I don’t even know what to say.
“B-but why…” I fumble with words but in the end nothing comes out.
Sarah blinks her very red eyes. “You’re just… so out there. So free and unreserved. You didn’t have to make Mom like you. She just did. I had to work hard for her affection. I had to be perfect, get good grades, follow all the rules. But she was never that way with you. She loved you regardless.”
“Mom loved you too. She was always so proud of you.”
“I always thought that if I was perfect, she’d love me more. She’d think I was special, treat me differently. But I guess a mother loves her children equally, doesn’t she? It was petty of me to think that, to want something like that and I don’t know how to ever make up for that. I –”
Her hands are on the table and she’s twisting the napkin between her fingers and I swear, I can’t see her like this.
So defeated and unsure and so fucking vulnerable.
I lean forward. “It’s okay. You don’t have to. We’re sisters. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I always looked up to you, Sarah. Growing up, you were my whole world. My idol.”
“But not anymore, right?”
I squirm in my seat, unable to meet her eyes.
As much as it pains me to see her like this, she’s right. I don’t think I can ever forget what she did to Arrow.
