Page 6 of Montana Storm

“I’m going to change quickly,” Lena said. “Then I’ll make us some tea. Make yourself comfortable.”

Taking my cue from her, I toed off my boots and hung up my coat, then I stepped into Lena’s world. The living room in front of me was somehow completely different and exactly what I expected. A big, old-style fireplace dominated one wall, and there was a bookshelf far bigger than the TV in the corner.

The walls were white, but it didn’t feel spare or barren. Prints of various things hung on the walls, and a green velvet couch sat in the middle of the space. The chairs and pillows all looked impossibly comfortable, and I couldn’t help but imagine Lena here, relaxing. The image made perfect sense.

I scanned the spines of her books. I knew Lena, but this was different. This was her mind and heart. Who she was when she wasn’t putting others in front of herself. Romances lined the shelves, and I smiled. A small crystal sat on the shelf, nearly the same green as the couch.

The whole space felt lush and peaceful. It was the home of someone who’d made it just for them, regardless of what anyone else thought. She loved beautiful things.

The kitchen was simpler, but still warm. I sat at the kitchen table to wait for her, not sure where this was going. A small creak let me know she was coming back, and I immediately regretted coming inside.

Lena wore black leggings and a camisole which, while modest, was still the most skin of hers I’d ever seen. Those leggings showed off the curves that were begging me to touch them, and I was glad I’d decided to sit down so I could hide how she was affecting me.

I could see myself breaking. Shoving my control aside and reaching for her. The vision tumbled into heat and shared breath and everywhere we couldn’t go. Just because she was close to me and driving me crazy didn’t change all the reasons I needed to hold back.

One stray touch could—and had—send me into a spiral of memory it wasn’t easy for me to pull out of. Those memories were anything but sexy, and being in that state was dangerous for whoever was around me. I needed control, especially in the bedroom, where I was the most vulnerable.

Aside from it helping me stay grounded, I loved it, the strength it took to surrender to someone. I loved the trust that accompanied it. Being in charge of someone else’s pleasure brought a satisfaction nothing else even came close to.

Back when I was still freshly rescued, I’d tried. The look on the woman’s face when I’d shown her exactly what I needed was still with me. She’d claimed she was interested in an exchange of power. But as soon as I told her, she changed her mind. I was every woman’s worst nightmare—always taking and never giving. I never tried it again.

I knew I could find someone who wanted what I did, but none of those people were Lena.

And every day since I’d met her, I’d wished I didn’t need it. Didn’t crave it. As if everything that happened had taken what I liked and turned it into a necessity. Because Lena wasn’t a submissive. The fiery woman I knew wouldn’t want to be held down.

So I kept my hands where they were.

Still, as Lena filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove, I couldn’t help but stare at the curve of her ass and pray I could hold on to my own sanity.

Since she’d come down the stairs, neither of us had said anything. Now, she turned from the stove and came to me. Even seated, I was nearly as tall as she was. Her lower lip was caught between her teeth, fingers fidgeting together and apart. She was nervous. Her breathing was fast, and she was now flushed instead of pale. But I couldn’t pinpoint the source of those nerves. There had to be something I was missing.

Of course, being stranded and having it dredge up memories might take her a while to settle from.

Lena was so close now, it felt like a magnet was pulling me toward her. She was staring at me, eyes wide, and I could see the shades of gray in her eyes as clearly as storm clouds in the sky. “Are—”

My words never made it past my lips. Lena leaned down and kissed me. For long moments, it didn’t register that Lena Mitchell was kissing me, and holy fuck, her lips were perfect.

For a single, glorious moment, we were frozen together. And then I kissed her back. She tasted like strawberries and coffee, and the way she was fitting against me was the puzzle piece I’d always been looking for. I pulled her closer, guiding her lips deeper, already controlling where and how the kiss went. It was as natural as breathing.

Lena’s hands skimmed my shoulders, wrapping around my neck, and stillness slammed into me like a battering ram. I was still here, in this present moment, but the single touch on my back was enough to make my brain remember—and be afraid.

I wanted more of this. I wanted to take control and push her up against the wall of the kitchen, not stopping until she was moaning my name. I wanted to consume every inch of her until she was putty in my hands.

But Lena didn’t want that. The passion in these lips spoke volumes, and with the way her hands slipped down my chest to my ribs and back, I felt the panic creeping upward from the place where I kept it locked.

Orders were on the tip of my tongue. To put her hands on my shoulders and not move them until I told her to. I was about to become every woman’s worst nightmare, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t endanger her.

Leave. The thought surged through my mind. I needed to leave before I couldn’t make myself do it.

When I pulled back, she looked at me, confusion and worry on her face. But I couldn’t explain it; I couldn’t handle the way her face would change from longing to disgust. Lena would be happier and safer if I was out of this house right fucking now.

I stood, and Lena’s eyes followed me. I saw hurt in her gaze that I desperately wanted to soothe and couldn’t. The same hurt was aching in my own chest, and there wasn’t any cure for it except time.

“I’ll come back in the morning to give you a ride to work.”

Lena parted her lips, as if she wanted to say something, and then closed them. Her shoulders curved inward, and she wrapped her arms across her body in a movement so instinctual I wasn’t even sure she was aware of what she was doing. She was shrinking in front of my eyes, and I couldn’t bear to watch.

Only silence followed me as I grabbed my coat and shoes and closed the door behind me. Silence had never been so loud.

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