Page 66 of Twisted Redemption

“Daisy, I was an idiot. A total ass. Last night put everything into perspective for me. I don’t know how to make it up to you, but I will. I’ll work for your forgiveness until the day I die. Because I—”

“Stop,” I blurt.

Thankfully, he does. His eyes lock onto mine. He looks desperate—exactly how I felt two months ago when I went to him.

“I know you’re sorry. But this isn’t the time to tell me you love me.”

He presses his lips into a thin line, and his eyes hold a hint of surprise. I don’t know why—we were so close growing up you could hardly call us separate people. Sometimes I think I know him better than I know myself. Of course I know that’s what he was about to say.

I give myself a moment to collect myself. There are so many emotions coursing through me right now—confusion, relief, regret. And so much anxiety.

“Thank you for your apology,” I start slowly. “I...”

Fuck. How am I supposed to tell him I’m not ready to forgive him? How can I decimate him the way he did to me?

I can’t say it. I just can’t.

“I need time to think.” My gaze meets his, and I have to clench my fists to stop myself from reaching out and cupping his face. “And I need you to give me space.”

“I’ll give you whatever you need, Daisy,” he murmurs. “Anything.”

I nod. And then I stand and head upstairs to think.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

BROOKE

“WHAT IF WE’RE doomed?”

The thought has been bouncing around in my head ever since my conversation with Blaze earlier. He and I used to be inseparable. And then we fell into a cycle of pain and hurting each other. And I can’t help but think—what if we’re doomed to keep repeating it?

Michelle, my therapist, frowns on my laptop screen. I didn’t want to bug Blaze and make him sit in my therapist’s office for an hour while I have my weekly appointment, so I requested a video session.

“Oh my god,” I murmur. “What if I’m doomed?”

“Why would you say that?”

“Look at me! It feels like I’m destined to chase after the love of men who don’t want to give it to me. Francis, David, Blaze... What if I’m the problem?”

Michelle gives me a sympathetic smile. “I don’t think you’re doomed, Brooke. I think maybe you’re subconsciously repeating a pattern and chasing after the kind of treatment you were raised with. But that’s something that you can heal and fix over time. You’re not doomed.”

I take a deep breath. Not doomed. I should feel relieved, but instead, a heavy weight settles on my shoulders. “I’m repeating a pattern. But I don’t want to live a life of chaos.” That’s how my life feels right now.

Michelle nods. “I know you don’t. But it’s very possible that subconsciously, that’s what you’re chasing after. You were verbally abused your whole childhood, Brooke. You were taught that you had to earn your father’s love. It’s all that’s familiar to you, the chaos. And sometimes when that happens, it feels... safe, in a way. Like home.”

“That makes sense.”

She watches me silently.

I don’t want chaos. I don’t want to relive all my terrible memories.

“I don’t know how to fix this.”

“The type of relationships you enter into? Or your relationship with Blaze?”

“It feels like they’re the same thing.”

Michelle hums, frowning. “You’ve told me a lot about Blaze over the past few years. He seems like he used to be a really sweet kid.”