Page 124 of Twisted Redemption

“He just hit me a few times and tied me up. The bruises on my wrists are my fault. I kept tugging at the ropes and trying to get them undone.”

I don’t meet his gaze. Can’t. Somehow, telling him the rest seems worse: that he drugged me, that I was unconscious for hours, completely unprotected.

“Brooke—”

“Don’t.” I turn away, staring out the windows. “I know I shouldn’t’ve gone to talk to him. It was a mistake, and I won’t do it again. I’ve learned my lesson. I don’t need a lecture, okay?”

He lets out a soft laugh. His chest bumps against my back as he wraps his arms around me. “I’m not going to lecture you, Daisy. Maybe tomorrow, but not right now. All I care about is that you’re safe now. That I have you again. You scared the shit out of me.”

You scared the shit out of me.

He said those words to me mere weeks ago, when everything was still so uncertain. When he was giving me whiplash from treating me like his everything one second and then crushing me under his shoe the next.

What about him, huh? I heard about some of the shit he said to you. Why does he get your forgiveness? What did I do that was worse?

I hate that David is the one who made me come to the realization. Who led me straight to the fact that I’ve been pretending to trust Blaze when I don’t, and that he’s been doing the same with me.

What if we can’t make this work? What if wanting each other isn’t enough? My therapist said that we’re not doomed, but maybe we are. Maybe we’re destined to repeat the pattern I thought I could break free of.

The past few days proved I can’t, didn’t they? I went back to David. I went back to a man who hurt me in so many ways.

And now I’m supposed to go back to Blaze?

He’s different, a small voice screams from the back of my mind. He’s trying. He’s making up for what he did to you.

But does it matter if I can never trust him? If I can never believe that he trusts me?

Blaze may not be acting hurt right now, but I know he is. I left in the middle of an argument. I told him not to look for me. I did everything possible to make sure he couldn’t.

We both want this to work. We really do. But how can it? I left him again, told myself that it was different. But it’s not. It wasn’t.

He’s so calm as he strokes my arms, burying his face in the crook of my neck. But for how long? Will he decide that he has to punish me again? Will I be able to take it when he does?

I don’t want to give up on him. But I need time to set myself straight.

Maybe in the morning I can request an emergency appointment with Michelle, and she can help me sort everything out.

“I love you,” I whisper as a tear falls down my cheek.

“I lo-”

“But I need you to give me some space.”

He goes stiff behind me. “What?” The word comes out of his mouth all funny and uneven. “Daisy, I can’t.”

“I need to think. To make sure I can do this.”

He spins me around, gripping my shoulders, eyes wild with panic. “No. Brooke, please. Please. Just tell me what’s going through your head, and we can work through it together.”

But I step back and shake my head. “I’m afraid I’m repeating the same pattern. That I’m throwing myself back into chaos. I’m terrified, Blaze. I want to trust you. I want to tell myself that everything will be okay. But I don’t know that. And I can’t risk going through everything that happened again. With David. With you.

“We went into this too fast. Being with you—Blaze, being with you is everything I ever could’ve dreamed of. And I want to be with you. Forever. But I need to make sure that’s me saying that and not all the emotions and lust that have finally bubbled to the surface. I need to be alone, and I need some time. To think all of this through. To make sure that I’m not making the same mistakes again.”

“Daisy,” he says, stepping forward and wincing when I take another step back. “I promise. I promise I won’t hurt you like that again. I know that’s not good enough, but I don’t know how to prove it to you right now. Please. Just let me take you home.”

I shake my head. “I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Absolutely not.”

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