Page 31 of Perfect for Her

Harlow

“Miss?” the police officer whispers, startling me as he sits next to me on the couch as I wipe away the pile of tissues that surround me, wondering how everything turned upside down.

“Huh?” My eyes flick to his, the pity clear, the fear evident in the way his fingers flex on his thighs. I know the statistics, I know the false hope that is running through my body is just that, but I cling to it like a lifeline. Everything is blurry, the room spinning as I actively remind myself to take breaths, knowing that if I don’t, I will just pass out from the fear that is lacing through every fiber of my being.

“Do you have any idea who could have done this?”

God, how I wish men would just talk to each other because I’m sick of repeating myself and when I hand him the photograph that I’m clinging to, he takes it and studies it as if a clue will just pop out in front of us.

“And you don’t know who sent this to you?”

I take another breath, making sure to count down from ten so I don’t blurt out the first thing that pops into my head.

“No,” I mutter, my mouth dries at the effort it takes to speak. “If I knew who sent this, I wouldn’t be sitting here doing nothing, I would be trying to find them, now wouldn’t I?” I don’t mean for it to come across as harsh, but his flinch tells me I hid it poorly and my chin sinks into my chest, the tears filling my eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Don’t even worry about that. It was a stupid question so it deserved a sarcastic answer.”

I nod, my smile curt as the officer nods before getting up and making his way to the huddle that is gathering in my kitchen. I close my eyes, leaning back against the couch and clutching the stuffed dinosaur that Ethan dragged everywhere with him to my chest, bringing it to my nose and smelling his scent for the millionth time in the last ten minutes.

“Baby?” Mark’s voice whispers over my body, a warmth I cling to desperately as I open my eyes to see his sad eyes searching mine. “You doing okay?”

I sit up, readying to put on a brave face, I look at him and meet his eyes, prepared to nod and tell him everything that’s happened since I called him, but instead, I break. I crumble right in front of him, the tears falling fast as my body shakes uncontrollably.

“Where is he?” I yell into his chest over and over and over again. My body trembling harder with every breath I take. “I can’t exist without him,” I whisper, my fingers grasping at him as if he’s a buoy and I’m drowning.

“Shhh, breathe for me, baby. I need you to breathe for me,” he pleads, cupping the back of my head and kissing the top as I take shuddering breaths, trying to calm down enough to talk to him.

My gaze flickers over the room, seeing Drew and Kate standing off to the side, their faces full of worry.

“Hey, do you guys mind calling the others, let them know what’s going on, and I’ll call you when I can?”

Kate goes to say something but Drew pulls her close.

“You sure you don’t need us to stay?”

The question is met with a shake of Mark’s head as he pulls me even closer to his chest, his fingers lacing themselves in the loose strands of my hair as I take gulping breaths, trying to calm my heart.

“I think it’s best if you go,” Mark whispers as I close my eyes and pray that this is all a dream.

“Hey, Drew?” Mark’s voice registers but it’s muffled by the way his arms are wrapped around me. “Can you call Max and let him know I’m okay for now and I’ll call him later? He’s been blowing up my phone and I don’t need him rushing in here. Not yet at least.”

Drew must agree because when my eyes open, they’re gone, the only person in the room with me is Mark. He pulls back as his palms come up to cup the sides of my face as he tilts my face back so our eyes meet.

“What happened?”

I shake my head, the tears silently spilling down my cheeks as I shrug, not knowing where to start.

“Did he get to school okay?”

I nod, thinking back to when I waved to Ethan as he got on the bus.

“But he never got on the bus to come home?”

I shake my head, my chest constricting as the thought of what happened to our son consumes me. My breathing starts to pick up, my hands begin to shake uncontrollably as Mark pulls me into his chest once more.

“I-I don’t know what to do,” I say to myself, but from the way Mark hauls me onto his lap, I know he heard me. This feeling of helplessness takes over and I wonder if my life will ever be the same.

“Do you think it’s the same person that—”

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