Page 8 of Staying for Her

I nod, agreeing.

“But first I need to go over to my apartment and get some of my shit because as much as I just love sleeping in jeans, I would like to get some clothes and my camera shit out of that jerk’s place.”

I nod again, my hands finding her hips on their own as my body reacts to the way she feels nestled against me.

“Thank you, for all of this,” I mutter, my eyes meeting hers and expecting a smile, but what I get is an intense look of admiration that causes my heart to still and my hands to spasm against her.

“Well,” she says, clearing her throat, snapping whatever trance we were both under just a second ago. “I’m gonna go over and get my stuff, I shouldn’t be long.”

She stares at me for a split second before leaning up on her tiptoes and kissing my cheek, solidifying my underlying fear that this agreement might just become more complicated over time, especially if she keeps looking at me like she was a minute ago.

Billie

As I step into the hall, my head reeling from all the information that was just dumped on me, I wonder how the fuck I got myself into this position. I went from happily seeing one guy to fake dating another while living in his apartment because my ex decided to cheat and get another girl pregnant. I feel as if I should write to Jerry Springer just to tell my story because even thinking about the last twenty-four hours has my head spinning.

Eyeing Mike’s door, I take a deep breath and close my eyes, knowing that my patience is about to be tested harder than ever before. But I stand up straight, hold my head high, and knock.

“I was wondering when you were going to come over,” Mike mutters before even fully opening the door. “I assumed I wouldn’t see you for a few days.”

I thought about that. I thought about walking away and having someone else get my shit, but a part of me wanted to confront him one last time, get that closure all the TV shows talk about.

“Yeah, well, it seems like you don’t know me very well after all,” I murmur, eyeing the apartment behind him. “Can I come in? I really do need to get some of my things.”

His eyes flick from me to Lucas’s closed door.

“Is he coming too?”

I roll my eyes, annoyed at his insecurity over a man that has no bearing in his life.

“No, it’s just me,” I admit, hoping to stop this conversation and just wanting to get this over with as fast as possible.

His eyes flick to the door one last time before he opens it and motions for me to go in. The stark contrast between this apartment and Lucas’s is insane. Mike has always been a neat freak. Even when we first started dating and I would come over, he would have a designated toothbrush for me. My towels would be on a different shelf and I wasn’t allowed to touch any of his things. Even when I moved in, this place wasn’t home to me. I was living in Mike’s space and he never let me forget it.

Lucas’s place feels lived in, homey, and a place I can see myself staying. I don’t feel as if I have to ask permission to use a plate or move a picture frame from one shelf to another. It’s comfortable, relaxed, and inviting. Something I am very much not used to.

“I’m glad you came over because I wanted to talk to you.” Mike dares to look guilty and that causes every fiber of my being to go on high alert, knowing what’s coming.

“We have nothing to talk about. You cheated… for a while it seems, and I found out. End of story.”

Mike shakes his head as I move around the room, trying to get all my camera equipment put away and moving it to the front door.

“That’s just it. I may have cheated, but I don’t love her. I love you and I want the future we talked about. That has never changed.”

I stop what I’m doing and turn to see the look of desperation cross his face and maybe a few days ago that would have worked. That admission of love might have been enough, but walking in and seeing what I saw, knowing what’s been going on for months behind my back is something I can’t just forgive and forget.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. Everything has changed. You went looking for someone else, you got her pregnant and you got caught. None of that is on me.”

The anger is boiling over as I walk into the bedroom and open the closet door, taking out my suitcase and riffling through all the drawers, finding all the clothes I own.

“Come on, baby, it was a mistake. I don’t want to throw away what we have because of one mistake.”

I turn and face the man I was in love with yesterday and now all I see is a desperate boy that doesn’t want to take responsibility for any of his mistakes.

“Mike, listen to me, please. Forgetting my birthday is a mistake, forgetting date night is a mistake, but forgetting you have a girlfriend for months while you fuck someone else is not a fucking mistake. It’s deliberate and you know it.”

The words feel like sandpaper on my tongue as I throw all my clothes into the suitcase, not bothering to fold them, and shutting it as best I can. In the back of my mind, I notice how sad it is that every one of my possessions can be stuffed into one suitcase, but I’ll deal with that later when I’ve had some alcohol and maybe a few slices of pizza.

“Come on, Billie, don’t leave like this.”

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