Page 15 of Staying for Her

“You’re okay, right?” he asks, that look of panic flickering over his features before he hides it with a smirk. “Because it’s too late to back out.” He winks, his fingers gripping my thigh just a little tighter, causing all the breath to leave my lungs.

“I’m fine, just regretting my choice of clothing,” I mutter, pulling gently at the hem of my dress and wishing I had worn something a little less revealing.

“I think you look gorgeous, plus bonus points will be earned for pissing off my mother with all that skin showing.”

I can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of my chest and for the first time since I woke up this morning, I wonder what’s going to happen after today.

“What are you thinking about so hard over there?”

Can I tell him the truth? That the arrangement is now something more, something more complicated than I ever thought possible? My eyes glance toward the road, watching as we pass car after car on a highway that leads to probably the most expensive house I have ever entered and I know I’ll stand out like a sore thumb, no matter how hard I try to fit in. I don’t come from money, I’ve never owned anything expensive, except my camera equipment, but even that’s secondhand and took me years to save for, and yet here I am trying to pretend none of this bothers me when in reality it’s the opposite.

“Billie?” he asks as his voice takes me out of my own head and my eyes flick toward his and I smile.

“I’m good. I was just wondering what happens after today?”

The smile fades, a frown peeking out of the corners of his mouth, and for a split second, I curse myself, wishing I never said a word.

“I’m sorry, let’s just get through today and then go from there.” I shake my head, looking back out the window and wondering why the hell I brought it up.

I didn’t expect Lucas to say something right away, I did make it awkward as fuck, but I didn’t expect total silence for the rest of the drive. But that’s exactly what happens as he finally pulls into his parents’ private driveway, an iron gate blocking our entrance. Lucas peers over at me, presumably trying to gauge how freaked out I am, and when I smile, he seems to relax even though I am freaking the fuck out inside. He quietly speaks to the guy in the little hut beside the gate and I wonder what parallel universe I just entered because all of this seems excessive.

“Are your parents some kind of secret agents or something?” I mutter more to myself than anything, watching as we creep up the gravel driveway toward what looks like the Fresh Prince house from TV.

“Why would you ask that?” Lucas says through a laugh as he quickly parks, shutting the engine off and turning toward me.

“Because why else would regular people live in a place with a gate and a fucking guard!” I say it before thinking and once the words leave my mouth, I hear them and I close my eyes, wondering why my brain can’t filter out the bullshit before I say it. Instead of being offended like I expect, since this is his childhood home, Lucas bursts out laughing, his head falling back against the window behind him.

“You know, in all the years I’ve been bringing girls over to this place, you’re the first one to have a problem with Ned.”

My brows furrow, confusion licking my expression.

“Who the fuck is Ned?”

“The guard, he’s been with my family since I was a baby, so he’s like an uncle to me, even though I don’t think he’s ever set foot inside the house.”

The sadness in his expression is enough to tell me just how different he is from his family. He’s told me in words, but that expression of regret and anger that crosses his face when talking about a man making an honest wage and being shunned by his employers is enough to show just how different Lucas is from his upbringing.

“He’s really never been inside the house?”

Lucas shakes his head, his eyes glancing up to the structure that’s only a few feet from where we were parked. I take his hand in mine, linking our fingers as I bring them to my lips, kissing them gently.

“I want to talk about what you said earlier,” he says with a somber look on his face.

I shake my head, ready to tell him to leave it until later tonight when we’re home, but he squeezes my fingers and my eyes meet his.

“You want to know what I want after today?”

I say nothing, do nothing, because the butterflies have now taken over and I know if I speak a word I might throw up. I didn’t realize how much his answer would affect me until this moment and I know it’s insane, but I want him to want more from me. I want more from him and as much as I want to say it, I can’t seem to find the words.

“When we started this, all I wanted was someone to help me get my money. That was the end goal and to be honest, that is still partially true.”

That sinking feeling begins to grow faster and faster inside me as my eyes cast down, needing to hide the fear that is most likely glaringly obvious in my eyes.

“But,” he whispers, his fingers grazing my chin, lifting my eyes to his as I take in that sandy-brown hair that falls expertly in front of his eyes, the scruff that he wears so well and finally I get lost in those deep-brown eyes that I’m falling for even if I know it’s a bad idea.

“But what?” I say through cracked vocals as I take a shuddering breath.

Lucas smiles, his fingers gripping my chin, and making it near impossible for me to look away.

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